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Episode 28 — Zach Gilford, Our Close Friend

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sorry we forgot to tell anyone to suck these this week cuz they had never had zatch gilford. guess I will do it here

 

Topics? How about nosepicks, like what you do instead of getting good guests. You know what to do

 

nosepicks is what happens when you're bukeing funny good guests but you have too many bukers in ur noseholes..

 

if u guys ever wanted to interview someone remotely -- a buddy in new york, say -- i could probably book time and dial earwolf on an ip codec from sirius...just a thought..

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Nosepicks? I like em. I'm okay with em. Except when you're pickin your nose and you pick to hard and start to bleed...that's too scary.

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haven't seen Common Sence on here in a while... anybody hear from that guy?

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Shit I thought I was signed in to my Freja account. Please ignore.

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Shit I thought I was signed in to my Freja account. Please ignore.

 

Do you realize what you've just done? Now everyone will know some dude has been posting as Freja and it'll bring the girl count in here down to 1-ish (??) VB is gonna have to start overcompensating and talk about her period and being a chocoholic, y'know gurl stuff lol!

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I was curious about all the religious talk in this weeks episode so I checked out the King James Bible (on audible.com using the promo code "Hollywood," natch) and maybe its just me-- but this stuff makes a lot of sense!

 

It's like... why don't we, as God fearing Christians, just, like, make everyone be a Christian?? Through force & violence.

 

Seems like the world would be a lot better off, imo. idk, let me know what y'all think.

 

 

lol

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haha, ok, enough pranking around. the real website is of course audiblepodcast.com/handbook

 

sorry for pulling your collective leg, everyone. as an apology, please let me recommend an audiobook, which you can download for free if you go to audiblepodcast.com/handbook.

 

"motorcycle man" by kristen ashley is a story about Tyra Masters [who] has had enough drama to last a lifetime. Now, she's back on track and looking forward to her new, quiet life. Until she meets the man of her dreams. The tattooed, muscled biker plies her with tequila-and the best sex of her life. She knows it isn't the tequila and hot sex talking. He's the kind of man she's always wanted. Unfortunately, he's also her new boss…

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I used my free audible promo forever ago for something that wasn't HH (sorry, Hayes, sorry not sorry, Sean) and I got Sarah Silverman's The Bedwetter. Just thought you guys might like to hear about me for once.

 

Oh, um, can we just talk about periods for a sec? I had the WORST cramps today and I finally understood why Montel Williams contemplated killing himself because of fibromyalgia pain.

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or the pain montell jordan feels every day that he is unable to spend his fortune because no one can make change, million dollar bills yall

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You guys, I'm worried about Erika and The Narnold. Do you think they're ok? Should we form some sort of super cynical A-Team to rescue them from whatever danger they're in? I call shotgun in the van.

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I call holding to the back on my skateboard! But I'm sure at least 5 of us can do that. I call muffler side! My shins get cold often.

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Hey Scoop Troopers, next week's guest will be Nick Swordson. He'll be on to talk about his new show Chrisley Knows Best and to answer all your Scoop Troop questions, so you better start asking away!

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"Love, Dad"? More like "I Don't Love Dad Because He Never Books Great Guests Like Saracen From Friday Night Live"

 

(Had we finished doing that?)

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Mr Swordskin, can I start by saying that I love your work in "Gay Robot" and "Seriously, Who Farted?". My question is: your Wikipedia page says you were expelled for posting a lewd sign in class. What was on the sign?

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I call holding to the back on my skateboard! But I'm sure at least 5 of us can do that. I call muffler side! My shins get cold often.

 

Dude don't fucking make skitchin' jokes on here please.

 

My cousin jordy severed his spine in a skitchin' accident after he severed it the first time in a surfing accident.

 

Just hits hard still, it's cool though he still shreds.

 

Side note: I too love learning more about Mark. I need more of Mark's backstory.

 

Also the audio book i reco is Just a Guy: Notes from a Blue Collar Life by Bill Engvail.

 

He's going to have you bussin' up with some good clean fun for your friends and co workers while you're at the site building whatever piece of shit walmart of fucking strip mall you're building.

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Hey all, we have Jordan Morris tomorrow. Trying to finally offer an olive branch and heal the Earwolf/MaxFun feud. Please ask him your questions.

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Jordan, Game of Thrones is a very big hit tv show. It doesn't take a true detective to connect the lines between you, Jordan Morris, and the star character, Jorah Mormont. My question is this: how often do you find George RR Martin in the bushes outside your house scribbling character notes?

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Ask Jordy Mordy how awesome it is to still be able to shred and bust serious ollies even after his skitchin' and surfing accident. I bet its pretty. fuckin. boss.

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Mr Morse, when Jessie Thorne does that thing where he invites strangers to go on a boat vacation with him, do you get a free ticket or do you have to pay full price? Or is it like a partial discount situation?

 

I think you should be able to go for free but maybe have to bring some snacks, that seems fair to me.

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Jordan this isn't really a question but could you please show off your acting chops and do all of your best accents and impressions and then make Hayes and Sean do some too please. Thank you.

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Dear Hey Jordan, I can tell you're a hoops head by your sick Robin Lopez hairstyle, so who do you got winning the NBA finals this year?

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Mr Morris, you follow 187 people on twitter.com. Section 187 of the California Penal Code defines the crime of murder. Is this a coincidence or do you find something inherently funny about murder?

 

Thank you for your time.

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Jordan Morris, you were in the movie All About Steve. Follow up question, do you like Jesse Thorn more or less now that he has a beard and children?

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hey jordan, they say less is more sometimes, but what "more is" [pronounce this to sound like "morris" (his surname)]

e: also how bigs your dick

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