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JulyDiaz

Episode 85.5 — Minisode 85.5

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Man, oh man. Ernest P. Worrell finally gets the HDTGM treatment in the 1990 classic

. As always, Paul goes through your Corrections & Omissions and this time it's for the sexy Bruce Willis flick Color of Night. Then, Paul answers your Qs about butts, morning eggs, and Dancing with the Stars. Also, you can now check out June Diane Raphael & Casey Wilson in ASS BACKWARDS for free on Netflix & HULU y’all! Don’t forget to grab yourself a brand new HDTGM Daredevil T-shirt over at the Earwolf store and a copy of Paul’s comic book Aliens Vs. Parker now available at www.amazon.com!

 

Reminder: If you can help with Paul’s recorder or if you have a sound collage for the 1st Annual HOWDIES email us over at howdidthisgetmade@earwolf.com!

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I watched "Ass Backwards" on Netflix some time ago. I'm sorry I'm only now getting around to posting on the board that I thought it was great. June, I really liked your wardrobe and I liked watching your character go to pieces. I'm on shaky ground in my life so I related to the story's dilemmas and I found solace in its comedy. Thank you! Bravo!

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I'll say it again, the longer version of Color of Night is straight-up terrible in its own right.

 

It still looks like a low- budget TV movie and the acting is just as horrendous.

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Wow, so this is going to be my first HDTGM experience, where I had watched and enjoyed the movie as a kid. Although, even as a kid I remember thinking that this movie is bonkers, but I loved Ernest, so I guess I overlooked all the absolute insanity of the movie. I'm excited to watch it again as an adult and really fully appreciate its ridiculousness.

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I'll say it again, the longer version of Color of Night is straight-up terrible in its own right.

 

It still looks like a low- budget TV movie and the acting is just as horrendous.

 

That dude was bonkers. I have seen both cuts, they are both awful.

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I just finished watching Ernest Goes To Jail and have come to the conclusion that the 36 5-star reviews on Amazon were written from inside a mental hospital. This isn't so much a movie as it is a 90 minute exercise in how to make wacky facial expressions and theoretical celebrity impressions.

 

As a side note, Imdb lists this movie as rated PG and the parent guide on there says there is no profanity, but I am 1000% sure that when Ernest is knocked unconscious by Lyle and dragged behind the dumpster that someone can be heard saying "Fuck".

 

I will never forgive you for making me sit through this movie. The terrorists have won.

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Why was this film not called "Ernest gets Superpowers?"

 

And if they have to follow the "goes" formula, why not "Ernest Goes in Some Pretty Dark Places."

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Ohh no, how has it come down to this.. Ernest Goes to Jail!! all the great movies we recommend here and this is What we are watching... this is a classic? sorry but this is just shit. makes last action hero look's like a 5 star movie next to this.

 

Sorry think I am going to pass on this one.

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As a side note, Imdb lists this movie as rated PG and the parent guide on there says there is no profanity, but I am 1000% sure that when Ernest is knocked unconscious by Lyle and dragged behind the dumpster that someone can be heard saying "Fuck".

 

Yes. It sounds as if Lyle mutters Fuck because he's pissed off about having to drag Ernest. As if Ernest is really heavy or smells awful.

 

The weirdest thing about this film for me was the jail's pink and blue colour scheme. The guards looked like little pink M. Bisons.

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Hey Paul, Salem is on WGN, not Syfy. It's also pretty damn great. So, uh...there.

 

I've only ever seen Ernest Goes to Africa, which came well after the Ernest flicks stopped getting theatrical distribution. And it was also terrible.

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Here's the trivia and production info article on COLOR OF NIGHT that Paul mentions:

 

http://officialscreenwriting.com/fun-facts-about-color-of-night/

 

Incidentally, to correct the correction and omissions, Paul attributes my comment about shot selection/lighting to the director. So he disagrees with me, not Rush. I was simply pointing out the surprising factoid that most test audiences didn't see the end coming and if this had been an issue, the director might have been able to address that (to some extent). Paul was right to point out that a lot of commenters didn't seem to appreciate the director's cut, which is fair.

 

I still think that version would have made for a better episode since Jason appreciates over the top, extreme elements and June often stands up for unique creative decisions made by filmmakers. The director's cut delivers plenty of discussion fodder on both accounts (the hang gliders, the gun blowjob, the four minute sex scene, Bruce Willis talking to himself, much more of Reuben Blades and Lesley Ann Warren's performances). The producer's cut got rid of that stuff and is just confusing.

 

Here's another HDTGM article I wrote breaking down the types of films that the show covers. I think the director's cut of COLOR fits best into "auteur jumps the shark" while the producer's cut settles into the "incompetent" category.

 

http://officialscreenwriting.com/how-did-this-get-made-the-categories/

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I checked out Dr. Jacques Coulardeau's amazon review after listening to this minisode. Check out the responses to the review.

 

thomas caniglia says:

The podcast "How Did This Get Made" spotlighted this as this movie's most insane review.

 

Jacques COULARDEAU says:

I am absolutely glad to be declared "the most insane reviewer." Better be the most anything than nothing at all.

 

I would prefer changing sexual orientation if I had to be such a psycho psychiatric head shrink. I would turn to dogs or maybe monkeys.

 

Jacques

 

So is it safe to say this dude is competely cracked?

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Ohh no, how has it come down to this.. Ernest Goes to Jail!! all the great movies we recommend here and this is What we are watching... this is a classic? sorry but this is just shit. makes last action hero look's like a 5 star movie next to this.

 

Sorry think I am going to pass on this one.

"Last Action Hero" is a 10-star movie next to this, because it's ALREADY a 5-star classic! Seriously, it's ahead of it's time, and aside from wanting to strangle the kid, most of it's pretty awesome!

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Oh man, when I was a kid, I used to love this movie! I do NOT recall an almost-rape scene at all, so clearly I need to rewatch this.

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"Last Action Hero" is a 10-star movie next to this, because it's ALREADY a 5-star classic! Seriously, it's ahead of it's time, and aside from wanting to strangle the kid, most of it's pretty awesome!

PlanBFromOuterSpace are we talking about the same movie here?

 

You mean to tell me If I goto amazon.com and type last action hero then click reviews, am I going to find PlanBFromOuterSpace review there? reads something around the lines of, I'd give this movie 10 stars but amazon will not let me, I owned this movie on VHS for years but boy was I upset when the tape worn out!. thank god they re-released it on DVD. I think this is Arnold Schwarzenegger best movie, forget terminator, this movie has got everything a person needs in a film..LOL

 

as painful as is, the sad part is that I am going to most likely break down and watch "Ernest Goes to Jail" just so I can listen to the show, You can bet on one thing forsure I will bitch the entire time during that viewing and most likely fast forward thru most of it. I sure wish paul would do better movies then this, this is on the level of it's pat. I take back last action hero out of respect for you!

 

sorry to hear about your VHS Tape.

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I am also a fan of Last Action Hero.

This. I know it's not the greatest... but this is a place for people who can enjoy even the terrible. I think it's fun and inconsequential compared to the heavy-handedness of so many other action movies. That kid may suck, but Charles motherfucking Dance, you guys!

 

As for Ernest, I remember liking Ernest Scared Stupid a lot as a kid... then I re-watched it for Halloween and few years ago and holy shit, it was... I don't even know. I think Ernest movies work in a way because they're like the kind of jokes kindergarteners tell each other and think they're being mischievious by doing so. They're a 7 year old telling a knock-knock-joke like "Knock Knock / who's there? / BOOGERS! HAHAHA!" then putting it on screen. So of course little kids are going to love it, but once you hit the emotional maturity level of a 12 year old (who are all disgusting in their own way), they become intolerable.

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Wasn't "Last Action Hero" a reboot of "The Purple Rose of Cairo?" In defense of that kid, it's got to be hard to reprise a role that Mia Farrow just owned in the original.

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Wasn't "Last Action Hero" a reboot of "The Purple Rose of Cairo?" In defense of that kid, it's got to be hard to reprise a role that Mia Farrow just owned in the original.

 

how did I forget about that this film."The Purple Rose of Cairo?" good call, MondayCity.

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Ok, this might me reaching, but bear with me here. You have the almost-impressionistic sets, the exaggerated (and sometimes pink) uniforms, the total incompetence of authority figures, various Rube Goldberg devices of illogical construction, the improbably identical resemblance between the main character and the antagonist, and the sudden transformation(s) of the main character. Ernest even meditates on the inevitability of death and the uselessness of life. This movie is an intersection of absurdism and existentialism akin to Franz Kafka's 'The Metamorphosis!' Hell, the presence of a sentient dog and the malleability of physical laws pushes this movie into Magical Realism territory. Take that, 'Winter's Tale'!

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I'm so excited to see you're finally going to be doing an Ernest movie. Ernest Goes To Jail is not one of my favorites and I don't recall the last time I saw it, or much about it so I'm going to have to watch it again soon.

 

Ernest Scared Stupid is the movie that, for me, defined the genre. Although Ernest Saves Christmas is a seasonal favorite.

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With regards to Ernest goes to jail.

I was about 20 mins in when i had to pause to get my mental fortitude together to continue.

Also seeing as Paul wants to know the 'exciting' places we are all from, just saying I am from Northern Ireland.

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