Armageddon (1998)

[Lando 2019]

I have not seen this movie since it came out on VHS and it is crazier than I remember. Some stray observations:

- I want someone to tally up the number of times you hear the "woosh" sound in space, I bet it's at least 3 wooshes per minute. At least. And only about 3/5ths of the movie takes place in space.

- And the explosions? Good lord. I know this is Michael Bay, but rocks will smash into each other and explode like they're made out of flint and filled with gunpowder.

- How much of this movie is slow motion? As it is the movie is 2 & 1/2 hours, but if you played all of the footage at normal speed you could probably cut 45 minutes off the running time.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

This was one of the most predictable movies I'd ever seen, as I pretty much knew the exact story beats and when they'd happen, but holy shit did it take it a long time to get there. Also, in true early Michael Bay fashion (see also: The Rock, which I actually love), it takes nearly half of the very long movie to get the actual plot moving, and when it does, it's such a mess to follow. Like Lando, I don't think I've seen this in it's entirety since the days of VHS, but I've seen this movie without seeing this EXACT movie quite a few times already.

[Lando 2019]

Oh I know. The whole movie is filled with scenes of "We need to do X" [starts trying to do X] "OH NO OUR Y IS BROKEN! WE CAN'T DO X" [Ends up doing X in an unconventional way]. It wears down your ability to care about the outcome of a situation when you know everything is at super high stake, but yet nothing is really at that high of stake.

 

Tangent: What I love about Game of Thrones is that it doesn't follow this conventional storytelling formula. A beloved character gets themselves into a tight situation? There's a pretty good chance that they're not magically making it out alive. Game of Thrones is very much the antithesis of the Michael Bay philosophy of film making.

[wyldride 285]

Yeah, you know you're in for something when a film posits that it's easier to teach drillers to be astronauts than teach astronauts to drill, mostly based on the principal of, "Fuck you -- No it isn't!" But it's one of the most fun-stupid movies out there.

[mushikitty 0]

Bumpin' this!

 

Please cover this movie soon so I can hear a breakdown of "space dementia". That is all I want.

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

Only if Mike Nelson is the guest. I feel that he is the only person alive who can properly make sense of the Animal Cracker/belly button scene in this film.

[itsjustme 0]

bump, just saw this for the first time and it was SO over the top and SO fun! The only downside came later when I realized there was no episode of HDTGM to listen to, I was so sure this movie would have been done already.