Episode 46 — Jessica Williams, Our Close Friend

[kobthatreal 5896]

Everyone knows that the opener is always the main event. I'm sure it was thick with scoop troopers, they roll deeper than the Guilty Remnant.

[Game of Scones 5812]

no more scoops,

 

no more talking about jessica had sick voice

 

no more bits?!?

[Casaba 5942]

no more talking about jessica had sick voice

 

Sick as in cool AND as in having a malady.

 

I will add that I've had Tim's Popcorn Gallery song stuck in my head all day.

[chanson 9697]

Sometimes I forget that people besides us cool kids here on the forums listen to the show.

[showshowbro 1177]

question 4 the boyz --

 

anyone ever fallen asleep in the sun and woken up with a wicked condom tan on their weenie boy?

 

me neither.

 

i tried to wear a condom once and it didn’t fit on my weenie boy.

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Today's episode of Comedy Bang Bang (#306), with only a minute and a half into the show, Harris Wittels reveals himself as forum member "rod aug"

[skizelo 2536]

Pretty sure Rod Aug was a callback to one of the farts and pro sequels, so the only revelation is that you've not listened to them. Pretty good call there Octer.

Also I'm sure Hayes has a perfectly nice face, Pete Holmes sounds rude.

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Pretty sure Rod Aug was a callback to one of the farts and pro sequels, so the only revelation is that you've not listened to them. Pretty good call there Octer.

No I'm sure that I'm right. Glad we worked this out.

[Bozos of Basketball 3689]

Due to contractual obligations, OcterDoctopus cannot legally listen to any podcast other than Gelmania. He just prefers these forums.

 

Another fun fact, his YouTube account is permanently locked on the Tim and Gelman Have Lunch series.

 

Believe he can watch the movie The Other Guys as long as he's drinking an Arnie Palmie.

[rod aug 5637]

Today's episode of Comedy Bang Bang (#306), with only a minute and a half into the show, Harris Wittels reveals himself as forum member "rod aug"

sorry to disappoint but I am just a raw dude, not twittels.

 

Also chanson liked my post on Holly Book face page so I am now on the waiting list to be his friend. Wish me luck!

[xoValeriexo 4369]

I made a new Earwolf friend and I think he might come visit us here soon. I'm giving you guys a heads up because I don't want you embarrassing me when he gets here.

 

His name is Sean Paul Giamatti and he's really cool and he lives in Texas and and and just don't embarrass me, okay?

[robinsbruce 4985]

Fine. But if this bro can't hang it's totes on you veebs.

 

Also what are you doing in texas and why arent you kick in it wit Shannon. She's the jam.

[RyanWright 713]

{50's Ritchie Valens "we belong together" plays softly in the background}

 

 

Dear Hayes and Sean,

 

I am writing to ask for advice. I have posted to your internet fan forum several times and subscribed on itunes, but I still haven't been able to find a girlfriend. I always make sure to brag to the ladies about how famous and popular I am on the boards. I have even told some girls that I know you guys IRL and that we're all best friends so they'll think I am cool, but the only responses I get are like "that sounds so lame" or "who is that? never heard of 'em". I am so confused and almost everyone on the forum is dudes. I very much like bazongas and would like to find a pair to call my own. please help

 

Love,

down and out in durham

[Scooby Donkers 1514]

OMG samesies as TJ! Plus I'm like pretty handsome, and although I'm consumed by self-doubt (self-loathing?), I'm fairly OK at projecting a bullshit aura of assurance and confidence.

 

And I'm not like one of those "nice guys" from the Internet! I can be very unpleasant! And I have trust/commitment issues! At other times in my life, these traits have seemed like valuable weapons in the fight for love. Oh yeah, that's another thing, I view romantic love as an essentially adversarial dynamic.

 

Hurry, nanny, many thanks.

 

Affectionately yours,

Shambles in the Chi

[kobthatreal 5896]

One good girl is worth 1000 bitches.

 

 

BOUND.

[showshowbro 1177]

(to be playing softly in the background while a sean or a hayes totally fan out over my sensitivities)

 

Dear Sean and Hayes,

 

Camp is okay I guess, but I miss you guys and I need some advice. All the guys have been making out with chicks behind the rock wall except for me – what am I doing wrong?? It’s like, I try to give them a dream-catcher but they’re like, I already have one, and then they all laugh when I walk away. I’m NOT a PERV – I wasn’t jerking off, okay?? I just toss and turn a lot. And I didn’t pee the bed, I just get really sweaty in my sleeping bag and that’s why the counselors hung it on the clothesline. Either way, the talent show is coming up and I was wondering if you guys had any ideas on how I could impress the ladies. I was gonna do that sick double-jester that you taught me, Sean – but I let Dylan borrow my hacky-sack and he said it got eaten by a bear. Like, I’m pretty good at the c-walk so if I don’t hear back from you guys I’ll probably just do that. Okay, gotta go find Sam – the counselors just called for a buddy-check.

 

-Lonely on Lake Lahona.

[showshowbro 1177]

ps. the song is off 'chet baker sings' which is my all-time favorite record of all time and everyone should go listen to it and pants a freshman or something.

[burdrulz 1760]

The show sounded so great, and I genuinely wish I could have gone. If you guys do come to east coast I willlllll effin' go to that shiz. Unless it's in like florida or something, I will not go to Florida. um... Well if it's Miami I guess you can concider me in. I went to WMC in miami years ago. I didn't have a lot of money so me and the girl I was with at the time just thought, "we'll sleep on the beach." that was a terrible idea, and I got absolutely no sleep for fear of being murdered by a homeless vagrant. As we slumbered underneath one of the life guard towers, no joke, a couple climbed up onto / into it and proceeded to have an awkard / scary fuck session. The guy made this really awful sex on the beach joke after they were finished, and by finished i mean after he rabbit humped his way to ejaculation. I can't for the life of me remember what it was, but it was definitely one of those moments where you feel sad and happy at the same time. Needless to say the next couple nights of my stay we got a hostel.

 

You guys are all being really funny on the forums this week. I love all the girlfriend stuff.

 

Sho Sho bro, camp is crazy. I hate when you drink all the bug juice only to find out that the jerk counselor dipped his whick into it.

[earpanther 451]

the best part of the episode was probably the whole entire thing.

[Andrew 4646]

Sorry I haven't commented for a few days, I was in Scotland for a wedding. Scotland is basically England's Canada. Good fun, would recommend it.

 

Edit: not my wedding, by the way. No lady can lock this bad boy down. If any of them tried I'd just be like "Sorry, babe, not my style. Keep it fresh". Then I'd turn up my leather jacket's collar and gun the throttle on my hog and ride off into the sunset and they'd never see me again.

[Game of Scones 5812]

I don't need lady help, but what do I do about ladyboys?!?

[mwn 5470]

I can't tell whether your problem is not enough, or too much, ladyboys. I assume the former because I assume you know what's up. Although, in either case the solution is doing a major shred session on your skateboard. I know that's kind of played out and cliche now in internet comedy, but this is in real life. It really, really works. Good luck.

[greazey_bob 166]

you guys watching the game?

[greggy 15909]

greazey_bob is a good forum name, hi bob

[showshowbro 1177]

I noticed that both teams really wanted to win.