Episode 47 — Zoe Jarman, Our Close Friend

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

 

 

and dudes in all seriousness this pod was bussing my shit up on the train and i was losing it and laughing rlly loud and this girl asked me what I was listening to and I explained that there was funny jokes and then she asked me if I wanted to ‘say hi’ and I was like ‘sure, hi!’ and she was like ‘cool well here’s my number if you ever wanna say hi’

 

woah. nobody ever used a pickup line on me before EVER.

 

needless to say, I sealed the deal with a layers/parfait analogy.

 

here’s a pic of her for those that don’t believe me

 

 

HUBBA HUBBA

*makes panting noise

*tongue unrolls out of mouth and then rolls up again

*heart beats visibly out of chest

*eyes turn into hearts and bulge out of sockets in time with heartbeat

[Game of Scones 5812]

more posts this week than last week

 

I'm calling Andrew T! Yo, this is racist.

[VinsanityV22 500]

Man, I wonder why we don't hear more of Earwolfman Jack in ads for all the shows here on Earwolf! He's a classic character! So is "The Nerd"! Their banter is amazing. I know these are technically "ads", but man I could listen to a lot more of those two!

 

Best ad campaign ever! Way to go, Earwolf Marketing team.

[rod aug 5637]

more posts this week than last week

 

I'm calling Andrew T! Yo, this is racist.

I hope the boys can get him on the show at some point to talk about his crazy prejudices. Name the podcast Yo, Andrew Ti is THIS racist.

[takehomejoke 670]

Can we talk RSS memories some you guyzzz??? Like when I laughed my whole butt off at the Female Body Inspector bit.....Episode 32

 

Sean: I've had men in my family who were actual female body inspectors, some of whom died on the job

[greazey_bob 166]

for real "the villains" would be the best little league team name

 

on Baseball Stars for nintendo (nes) the American Dreams and the Ninjas are the best teams. Best team name? i don't know, if it's little league maybe whoever has the most rad sponsor. Definitely no car wash or insurance guys.

 

The Chuck E. Cheese Greazers?? Good parties win or lose. Not sure if the villains even has time for the pizzas

[xoValeriexo 4369]

I wish middle school me had a Valerie Bryant to practice my boyfriend skills on, I never made kissy until 26.

 

http://hellogiggles.com/first-kiss-22 Does this sound similar to your experience, Rod Aug? I saw this article on fb today and couldn't believe my luck. I said to myself, "My good buddy, Rod Aug, had his first kiss in his twenties. What are the chances?" Was kissing awful to you at first? Or do guys immediately take a highway into the boner zone and love every second of it?

 

I ran out of likes so long ago, you guys. I really want to like all of your kiddy photos and funny posts, but I just can't. Junkie + McGurl, I'm gonna need you to repost those photos in bigger sizes.

[greggy 15909]

if u right click them and hit 'open in new tab' they show up bigger, at least in my browaser

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Thank-you, Greggy. I tried right-clicking on them about 16 times a piece and nothing happened, but on the 17th try I get an options menu. Thank-you for helping me. You should work for Google. Treese, you seein' this? Get Greggy on your team.

 

Those pics are priceless. Chubby McGurl and ol' three drapes Junk.

[squoopy doops 157]

Lurking and loffing. Loffing and lurking. Keep it up, everyone.

[rod aug 5637]

 

http://hellogiggles.com/first-kiss-22 Does this sound similar to your experience, Rod Aug? I saw this article on fb today and couldn't believe my luck. I said to myself, "My good buddy, Rod Aug, had his first kiss in his twenties. What are the chances?" Was kissing awful to you at first? Or do guys immediately take a highway into the boner zone and love every second of it?

There's too much anxious build-up and not enough post-kiss regret in that article. I thought cool confident guys (like clem) got their kissing game on lock by kissing people when the mood struck because girls would go along with it. I tried doing a kissy on a person singing karaoke and ended up getting beaten with a microphone with the instrumental to Private Eyes playing in the background.

[burdrulz 1760]

Anyone care to share a photo of themselves in middle school? Bonus points if you are with your boyfriend in the photo.

 

needless to say... I was a bit of a sport head.

 

[greggy 15909]

holy sh*t so many famous athletes on the boards

[NotTheNarnold 413]

I wish I could find my middle school football picture, I was an athletic hunk

[Casaba 5942]

Too many great photos and not enough likes! I ran out ages ago too.

What is with all of the swagger in these photos!? I never realized how much middle school boys make love to the camera.

[gototimsvlogdotnet 2886]

Too many great photos and not enough likes! I ran out ages ago too.

What is with all of the swagger in these photos!? I never realized how much middle school boys make love to the camera.

 

Middle school boys will pretty much come on anything.

[RyanWright 713]

Thank-you, Greggy. I tried right-clicking on them about 16 times a piece and nothing happened, but on the 17th try I get an options menu. Thank-you for helping me. You should work for Google. Treese, you seein' this? Get Greggy on your team.

 

Those pics are priceless. Chubby McGurl and ol' three drapes Junk.

 

I don't know how to put pics in like all you cool people do okay?! I admit it...I need help please. Also there is very little photographic evidence that I was ever a child. Maybe it's because my mom never loved me or because I grew up in an orphanage, I can only guess but probably at least one of those.

 

thanks for noticing the drapes. at the time I was saving up but ultimately had 4 drapes. also you are the third person in my life to call me that

 

^BTW: I ALWAYS get top billing in posts and you better watch it McGurly man! j/k

 

 

p.s. I bet Hayes thinks that 'top billing' is when he uses too many minutes on his phone plan

 

I am out of likes as well, when will earwolf end this insanity?!

[Casaba 5942]

 

Middle school boys will pretty much come on anything.

 

So many broken cameras!

[robinsbruce 4985]

 

So many broken cameras!

 

Well I don't know if they're broken, they will definitely need to be wiped down with like, a hand towel or something tho. Had to ask my sister if any pictures of me from that time exist. I'll be back with some serious fucking swag if I can find one.

 

Any of you handbook lasses have pics with your middle school man friends? Sounds like Veebs may have had some good ones.

[Casaba 5942]

I have some pics, but like Junk and Clem I'm not so good at doing photos on here. Any tips? Do I have to host the photo somewhere?

[burdrulz 1760]

I know what you’re thinking…

 

and yes…

 

…those are private school girls right there.

 

and dudes in all seriousness this pod was bussing my shit up on the train and i was losing it and laughing rlly loud and this girl asked me what I was listening to and I explained that there was funny jokes and then she asked me if I wanted to ‘say hi’ and I was like ‘sure, hi!’ and she was like ‘cool well here’s my number if you ever wanna say hi’

 

woah. nobody ever used a pickup line on me before EVER.

 

needless to say, I sealed the deal with a layers/parfait analogy.

 

here’s a pic of her for those that don’t believe me

 

 

Charlie this shit is cracking me up dude.

 

You better believe I was rocking some kind of skate / BMX company shirt with ma siiiaaackkkkk wide leg boot cuts babyyyy when I was a kid too. I was a private school kid though, so all the lil chicks I was smashing were also private school kids, in fact it was more cool to try and get public school chicks because they're moms didn't care what they did.

[burdrulz 1760]

Oh yeah and TIM..

 

it’s not childhood photos -- it’s JR HIGH pix.

 

I just thought I’d enforce the standard to ensure that we don’t exhaust all our source material in one week.

 

Baby pics could be a week, and so could senior pictures.

 

I also have dreams of cutting a forums mix-tape where everyone posts a song but that’s for a l8r week.

 

K thx tim.

 

 

can we do the forum mix? I think it could be rad?

 

what do you guys think.

[burdrulz 1760]

They were from a Fort Lauderdale, IDK what that is.

 

 

It's a terrible place

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Also there is very little photographic evidence that I was ever a child. Maybe it's because my mom never loved me or because I grew up in an orphanage, I can only guess but probably at least one of those.

 

Did you really grow up in an orphanage? Because, if you did, I will leave my [redacted] for you right now.

 

Anastasia, is that your real name? Are you really a girl? Do you really have a pirate kitty? As for the photo thing, I post photos on my Tumblr, then copy the photo location and post it using the little polaroid icon.

 

Brillo, I had my first [redacted] in 9th grade. No middle school boyfriends for me, sadly. I'll look for the one photo I have of him though. It's from the day we broke-up, so it's a goodun.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

 

I don't know how to put pics in like all you cool people do okay?! I admit it...I need help please. Also there is very little photographic evidence that I was ever a child. Maybe it's because my mom never loved me or because I grew up in an orphanage, I can only guess but probably at least one of those.

 

 

Maybe you are Benjamin Buttoning...do you remember being 80?