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Episode 51 — Gil Ozeri, Our Close Friend

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Is Kraft make a special mac and cheese just for Hollywood? How do stars stay so thin eating Kraft services so much? I want to be like Hollywood, but all this mac and cheese is making me fat.

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nikki glaser is our guest tonight. glasiacs please submit questions.

Nikki, as a blonde woman, how upsetting is it for you to see a blond man who can only grow a red beard? Its probably pretty horrifying

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Nikki, could you please define your success exclusively in terms of gender dynamics? Bc you're a woman?

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Oh, I'd also like to address something. There's some nasty rumors going around & I know they can spread like wilefires, so I want to nick this in the butt.

 

Earlier someone made a comment that peaked my interest, how maybe I'm like a dog guy like from the show. I don't remember who said it, probably Tim. I think it comes from deep-seeded stereotypes like, "oh, he's so cute & funny & he likes to run play digging in the yard, so he must be dog." well, that's just close-minded. I'm not dog. I'm a guy.

 

Mostly I'm worried bc I don't want to be spade but for all intensive purposes it's a mute point anyways, since I'm have that surgery to make so my hind legs aren't all crooked, then no one will think I'm dog ever again

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Nikki, can I use you as a reference for this job I'm applying to? You may not remember me but I watched one of your @midnight episodes so yea

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Nikki Glaser,

 

Couldn't you have given Hayes and Sean a bit more fucking notice before you came on their show so that they could let us know to ask you questions? How fucking inconsiderate are you? Jesus.

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PS - Hayes, I like your weird red beard. People who have red beards and hair that is not red are better than everyone else. Like unicorns but less uppity about how great they are and way more chill and down to earth. You know, like a unicorn you'd wanna hang out with. Like that.

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I have brown hair and a reddish beard, so I just want to throw my hat in the ring for next host of Hollywood Handbook if Hayes ever decides to go kick rocks.

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If I'm stack ranking people on this forum's profile pictures based on how much I think I could be best friends with them, it's gotta be:

 

* Rod Aug (your face just has a "fun", "quirky" look to it. Also you look like you're going to be a great dad with that face)

* Jacob C (good friend glasses. Plus I don't have glasses so we'd be a good match)

* Chanson (I don't have a beard so we'd be a good fun match. Plus I met a guy ((not like 'met a guy', just like 'we talked for a while and hung out but it wasn't romantic or sexual or anything')) who kinda looked like you on Friday night, except he was British)

* MBoP (Sorry MBOP. Someone's gotta be last. You're just a little too zoomed out in your pic so I have to judge you harshly for camera work/web design)

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i liked this ep, then i missed popcorn gallery time :c

i think the warn system is messed up, corpsefuc*er sh*tlord is a good boy

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* Rod Aug (your face just has a "fun", "quirky" look to it. Also you look like you're going to be a great dad with that face)

He looks like a man who could be on SNL

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Divya Narendra: Everybody on campus was using it. "Facebook me" was the common expression after two weeks. And Mark was the biggest thing on a campus that included 19 Nobel laureates, 15 Pulitzer prize winners, 2 future Olympians and a movie star.

 

Sy: Who's the movie star?

 

Divya Narendra: Does it matter?

 

We all know they're referring to a certain H. Davenport, right?

 

P.S. Mr Davenport, has any pretty girls said "I'm H.D. ready" to indicate that they were DTF (HD is your initials)? Maybe "H's D ready"? I think that would be a funny joke.

 

P.P.S. Mr Clements, has also any pretty girls said to you "please show me Clemency" when you were giving them that good hard loving? This also seems like a funny good joke.

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Great opening but the guest was #weaksauce

 

If I'm stack ranking people on this forum's profile pictures based on how much I think I could be best friends with them, it's gotta be:

 

* Rod Aug (your face just has a "fun", "quirky" look to it. Also you look like you're going to be a great dad with that face)

* Jacob C (good friend glasses. Plus I don't have glasses so we'd be a good match)

* Chanson (I don't have a beard so we'd be a good fun match. Plus I met a guy ((not like 'met a guy', just like 'we talked for a while and hung out but it wasn't romantic or sexual or anything')) who kinda looked like you on Friday night, except he was British)

* MBoP (Sorry MBOP. Someone's gotta be last. You're just a little too zoomed out in your pic so I have to judge you harshly for camera work/web design)

Go fuck yourself Tim, I would never want to be your friend anyway

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I just watched Silver Linings Playbook and was bussin' up in a sad way a few times...well 5 times. prob normal right? Right?!

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I just watched Silver Linings Playbook and was bussin' up in a sad way a few times...well 5 times prob normal right? Right?!

I thought because playbook this movie was football? Also has Wedding Crasher tackle man, no?

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If I'm stack ranking people on this forum's profile pictures based on how much I think I could be best friends with them, it's gotta be:

 

<blah blah blah not Freja blah blah>

 

Thanks a lot! And thanks for not including any of the forum ladies in your list. I mean... have you even seen Anastasia's pic? It's some chubby kid with a cat-- what's not to love?!?! OFFENDED GOOD BYE I'M TEAM JOE MCGURL NOW

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Thanks a lot! And thanks for not including any of the forum ladies in your list. I mean... have you even seen Anastasia's pic? It's some chubby kid with a cat-- what's not to love?!?! OFFENDED GOOD BYE I'M TEAM JOE MCGURL NOW

 

And how could you not want to be best friends with Freja! Her photo is god damn majestic!

 

Maybe the ladies make Tim uncomfortable.

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I thought because playbook this movie was football? Also has Wedding Crasher tackle man, no?

It is and yes. I don't understand the confusion? I cried because some dust got in my eyes, both of them, at the same time. It had nothing to do with me identifying personally with the character's struggles on some unreconciled emotional stuff. No way man, it was dust

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Thanks a lot! And thanks for not including any of the forum ladies in your list. I mean... have you even seen Anastasia's pic? It's some chubby kid with a cat-- what's not to love?!?! OFFENDED GOOD BYE I'M TEAM JOE MCGURL NOW

 

I mean, if Tim (fuck you) and I were hanging out, you know I'd give you a call and ask you to come along because we're bros now. However, he might find you sexually threatening. You know, because strong, beautiful, empowered, funny women are a threat to the patriarchy or whatever. I don't know, it's a hypothesis.

 

Also, when did it become a fight between Joe McGurl and Tim? I'm so confused.

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PS - Movies isn't football but football is movies. Everyone in the scoop troop will surely remember this.

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What's your favorite movies is sports? I like Celtics Pride because I am a Boston boy.

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OFFENDED GOOD BYE I'M TEAM JOE MCGURL NOW

 

Welcome to flavor country. Fuck you, Tim.

 

 

Also, when did it become a fight between Joe McGurl and Tim? I'm so confused.

 

It's simmered down recently but me and Tim have had an ongoing feud for a while now. It's been so long that I don't remember what we started fighting about in the first place but it's just one of those grudges that you HAVE to keep going like that time Kameron Conforti beat me in the "accelerated reader" program in sixth grade and he became student of the month and I didn't and he got to pick from the treasure chest and picked the Spiderman stickers that he KNEW I wanted and then didn't even give me one of them and I still hate him for that.....so it's kinda like that.

 

#TeamMcGurl

 

#FuckyouTim

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Oh yeah, and I thought this episode was funny. I laughed at it and stuff and thought it was good. This was an episode of a podcast that I like number 1 and thought this episode was definitely one of the episodes that this podcast has released.

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