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Episode 53 — Two Birthday Boys, Our Close Friends

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Hayes and Sean have a discussion with Engineer Cody about refreshments before addressing an interesting new cultural phenomenon they're getting into. Then the guys issue a challenge to their listeners to help them become the second-least popular podcast on Earwolf. Finally, MIKE HANFORD and DAVE FERGUSON show up to discuss Alfred E. Neuman books, the history of the lo mein sketch, and answer questions about names from the Chip Gallery.​

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It's weird how such an active little community has formed around such an unpopular show. Or is that weird? Actually, now I'm not sure if that's weird or not because of how people like things that aren't popular and stuff and then cast them aside like an ugly baby when they get popular. I mean, I don't know exactly how unpopular Hollywood Handjobs is so this is just me speculating about the things I already know that I don't know.

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Great episode im gonna recommend it to friends! Once again Hayes your laugh is always funny.

 

 

About this hip hop music its kind of like a computers jazz. My favorite computer jazz musician is wall-e. He has a song I think it's called "tesla electric car bomb" he's kind of like the terrorist of hip hop and I mean that with all dude respect.

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It's weird how such an active little community has formed around such an unpopular show. Or is that weird? Actually, now I'm not sure if that's weird or not because of how people like things that aren't popular and stuff and then cast them aside like an ugly baby when they get popular. I mean, I don't know exactly how unpopular Hollywood Handjobs is so this is just me speculating about the things I already know that I don't know.

thats the only reason I started commenting here--so that when HH blows up I can shun it and hold it over people that I liked Hayes and Sean before they hit it big.

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Engineer Cody is being a real jerk about Sean Hayes water, did we learn nothing from Watergate?

 

(Cards Against Humanity is back aw yisss)

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Engineer Cody is being a real jerk about Sean Hayes water, did we learn nothing from Watergate?

 

(Cards Against Humanity is back aw yisss)

 

The turn that ad read took when Sean found out what was really going on was stunning (and scary). I haven't heard him go OFF like that in quite some time

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The turn that ad read took when Sean found out what was really going on was stunning (and scary). I haven't heard him go OFF like that in quite some time

I dont know what I like more--hearing Sean yell or hearing Hayes laugh

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I dont know what I like more--hearing Sean yell or hearing Hayes laugh

 

Or hearing Hayes try to calm Sean down. I don't know exactly what happened with Sean's phone call, but it seems that Cards Against Humanity may be in for a nasty surprise

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Not gonna lie guys, I think Engineer Cody is my favorite part of this podcast. I know he had a rough start and I've said some harsh words about him in the past, but from now on I'm on team Cody. Cody, keep being a fucking homie, bro.

 

Also, Fuck you, Sean and Hayes. No particular reason this week, just because.

 

PS - Fuck you, Tim. (It just seemed appropriate. Also, there is precedent for rude greetings in Western Washington; in Chinook Jargon, the trade language that was used by early settlers to communicate with natives, they used the greeting "klahowya" which roughly translates as "I am miserable.")

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I'm really trying guys but my plans to increase HH listeners haven't been real successful. I bought a blimp with a SUBSCRIBE TO HOLLYWOOD HANDBOOK banner running off the back, planning on flying it over baseball playing stadiums and basketball mans. BUT I haven't been able to get it off the ground yet because gas is so expensive these days! It's Obamacare and trickle down economics but as SOON as I get gas I'll fly it over some hot spots.

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Hey guys, really sorry I haven't been very active on the forums for the past month or so. Truth be told, this has been the most difficult time of my life and I really have Sean, Hayes, and this fantastic community to thank for the giggles that kept me going.

 

I spent the month learning computers so I could make the cat say the funny thing that Sean says. But I figured it out and now here is the good meme I made.

 

 

4iD8n3js.jpg

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Dear Mr. Shawn and Mr. Heeyz

 

I am writing to tell you what I have just happened upon based on your suggestion. The SWWEET beats of rip rap roll, or hip-hop, is truly remarkable. The idea that someone can make music with their mouthss? Dats Crazy, but now it isn't. You guys are soo cool and I just bought that funny card game Funny or Die. It's like having tiny tiny tiny movies but on cards? it is Preeta cool. Thank you guys for being so cool

P.S I love you is a great movies :)

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the week in hip hop:

 

There is a rumor that Drake put a hit out on a stripper. Which I find confusing because strippers should be hitting on him and not the other way around, am I right? Also in the news, Bonecrusher thinks Atlanta Hip Hop is "garbage", and is madly in love with everything else, and Ms. Moneice Slaughter who stars on Love, Hip Hop, and Hollywood is selling her own sex toy and thought she was a lesbian after having her child recently. Look out Beats By Dre, you got company, and its literally a company.

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If raps is poetry, is poetry raps?

 

Is Emily Dickinson rapper? Is T.S. Eliot Missy Elliot?

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oh it's the chip gallery now? hm.

 

if they're gonna mess with the formula they should pick something less obvious than boring ass chips. i bet everyone on the forum has eaten much more baller food in a movies theater...

 

i used to not care about things like impressing men on dates and stuff so once i went to the movies on a first date and smuggled in a super size box of cracklin' oat bran under my puffy down vest and pulled it out, all proud-like. i was such a bad ass you guys. if you haven't had COB i feel bad for you. like, this is the face i'm making if you haven't had COB: :unsure:

 

also i went to the movies once with a couple who both were really orthorexic and had a deathly fear of carbs and pulled out hardboiled eggs and tuna packets in the theater. like seriously the 2 worst smells ever in a lethal combination. they hash tag all their food on facebook "#tuplife because everything they eat is put in tupperware. it's a bodybuilding thing i guess? but they're not bodybuilders? they also were the types who make you feel like shit about how you eat and told me that the stuff they put on movie theater popcorn causes lung cancer...

 

anyway i guess i'm just bitching about whatever because i didn't comment last week and feel guilty. hope everything is ok in your neck of the woods, andy! your absence on the forum is always felt!

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I like how Hayes has taken to playing the p-c g theme unannounced and then reacting to it in shock. It's like Tim is hovering over the guest segment, able to strike w/out warning.

Mike Hanford and the other one did very well and were likable (I was expecting it to be Mike Hanford and the fat one, but all the BB are good to me)

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If raps is poetry, is poetry raps?

 

Is Emily Dickinson rapper? Is T.S. Eliot Missy Elliot?

 

 

I think the real question is: If raps is poetry, and poetry is just small books, is this raps?

 

books09.jpg

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This episode was very good for a lot of different reasons. Too many to list.

This isn't very good, maybe somebody can do something better with it

dvVhbZo.jpg

 

PS. Freja your egg and tuna friends sound awful, but #tuplife is one of funniest things I've ever heard.

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I wents and click on SoundsClouds to make show popular! Wolfden is too scary. I don't like wolves without ears.

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Any chance we can get more of the cup wearing headphones on the next 'cast? Also you should have let Cody fall out that window! That would teach him some respect!

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Not sure if any of you caught it but the other day S & H almost accidentally played 'Would You Rather' (a popular game on another Earwolf 'cast that we don't have to mention here). It got me thinking about another game the guys could play that wouldn't encroach on 'Would You Rather' and save them from the embarrassment... SO, I humbly propose 'Would You Rav4'. It's a great game where one imagines themselves in a scenario where they maybe forgot where they parked their G-Wagon, perhaps lost the proximity key for their Tesla, or misplaced their chauffeur because he went to find you a hotdog and that was like 3 hours ago so they are forced to decide whether or not they will drive a Toyota Rav4. Here's a scenario: you arrive in Tokyo for your press junket on the new Nolan (Ryan) film you just wrapped and you head straight for the car rental place but they are all out of luxury rentals...here's the big question... Would you Rav4?

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Considering last week's conversation about Stella and this week's discussion about hip hop, my favorite rapper is Michael Showalter during the friendship song.

 

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