Episode 53 — Two Birthday Boys, Our Close Friends

[Matchgame72 118]

Any infrequent posters willing to go undercover on the Wolfden forum? Other than me, that is. I post so infrequently, it'd be obvious if I showed up there.

[robinsbruce 4985]

oh it's the chip gallery now? hm.

 

if they're gonna mess with the formula they should pick something less obvious than boring ass chips. i bet everyone on the forum has eaten much more baller food in a movies theater...

 

i used to not care about things like impressing men on dates and stuff so once i went to the movies on a first date and smuggled in a super size box of cracklin' oat bran under my puffy down vest and pulled it out, all proud-like. i was such a bad ass you guys. if you haven't had COB i feel bad for you. like, this is the face i'm making if you haven't had COB:

 

also i went to the movies once with a couple who both were really orthorexic and had a deathly fear of carbs and pulled out hardboiled eggs and tuna packets in the theater. like seriously the 2 worst smells ever in a lethal combination. they hash tag all their food on facebook "#tuplife because everything they eat is put in tupperware. it's a bodybuilding thing i guess? but they're not bodybuilders? they also were the types who make you feel like shit about how you eat and told me that the stuff they put on movie theater popcorn causes lung cancer...

 

anyway i guess i'm just bitching about whatever because i didn't comment last week and feel guilty. hope everything is ok in your neck of the woods, andy! your absence on the forum is always felt!

 

 

where even are you meeting all of these body builder peoples? Is they are into scientists?

[Toby Keith Sweat 1000]

They're called crisps.

 

ANDREW!!!!!! NO

[greggy 15909]

i used to not care about things like impressing men on dates and stuff so once i went to the movies on a first date and smuggled in a super size box of cracklin' oat bran under my puffy down vest and pulled it out, all proud-like. i was such a bad ass you guys. if you haven't had COB i feel bad for you. like, this is the face i'm making if you haven't had COB:

lol

[2COOL4U69 59]

More like 'crap' music.

 

It's a fad. It won't last more than a year.

[greggy 15909]

rap music is very good, so i liked hearing about it on the show, but was there a connection from that segment to something happening in the world that i missed?

[Craazhy 3]

This is a great show and I'm gonna do my best to get it more recurring listeners.

 

Also, I'm not funny, so that's it for my post. I'm sorry that this post couldn't serve any purpose other than to state a fact. I wish I could fire off some hot-potato jokes you comedy people like to toss around, like Comedy Man Jones— famous comedy man of the late 1980s. He did well with the religious, suburban to countryside, lower-middle class demo. He had this bit where he would do a little jig anytime he burned a person in the audience "real good." Like he would be all like "you got a funny hat. Where'd you get it at? The funny hat store!" and then there was the jig.

 

I used to watch him as a child all starry-eyed and say to myself— I would say to myself "shucks, Comedy Man Jones sure is a skillful comedy man and I wish I could do comedies too." So, that's how I find myself here, making this forum post on the Earwolf website without very many comedy. I hope you all can accept my apology.

 

And they say that forgiveness is the funniest kind of comedying. I think Dolly Llama said it or some other Indian person. But the point is that maybe we can come together and be as funny as Comedy Man Jones together. Maybe that's what he was trying to teach us. Forgive each other for the sweet, sweet burns that get lamb-chopped on you by your buds at the watering hole. Don't hold the grudge. Be the comedies. Share the comedies on social media outlets, and with your friends.

[skizelo 2536]

Greetings fellow not funny person.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

[honlads 8798]

You guys should check out Eminem.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

You guys should check out Eminem.

sounds like a fake name. are you aving a laugh?

[Casaba 5942]

Hey Tim, how's the improv going? On a scale of 1-5, how much are you enjoying it, 1 being not much, and 5 being a lot?

[kobthatreal 5896]

Time to test Tim's Improv.

 

 

 

So Tim, I heard you recently purchased a life size doll house that you fill with mannequins and pretend they are real people, kinda like in I Am Legend, except you call it the Frat House and you make them do that thing where they all jerk off on an Oreo and the last one to ejaculate has to eat the Oreo.... Is that true?

[rod aug 5637]

It's not true, Tim just told me.

[greggy 15909]

You guys should check out Eminem.

yeah one of the best.

i also like more underground guys like el-p and action bronson and aesop rock, or riff raff is blowing up the Internet. or take it back a little, bubba sparx was good in the '00s. if u like old school rap u can't go wrong with the beastie boys. but then again I even like radio rap like macklemore or igfy azalia!

[Casaba 5942]

yeah one of the best.

i also like more underground guys like el-p and action bronson and aesop rock, or riff raff is blowing up the Internet. or take it back a little, bubba sparx was good in the '00s. if u like old school rap u can't go wrong with the beastie boys. but then again I even like radio rap like macklemore or igfy azalia!

 

Whoa, greggy! You're seriously dropping knowledge on us right now....as them beastie boys might say.

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

There is rhythms in everything, beats can be ok like for Dwight on the Office, and Tanksgiving dinners. Plus, I heard if you have hiphops to hold your breath and that makes them go away. And what is this "popular" that Sean Hayes are mentioning? It would totally blows if popular was the most important factor. HH is the funniest show and if laughters (which is the best medicine) was money then H&S would be swimmers in golden coins like Scrooge McDuck Tales, woo hoo. Or was it woo hah, I get confused about the dungeon dragons part. Rawr Rawr. Fun fun fun Ep. like the Beach boys who did music with the Fat Boys. Way before skinny jeans

[gototimsvlogdotnet 2886]

Time to test Tim's Improv.

 

 

 

So Tim, I heard you recently purchased a life size doll house that you fill with mannequins and pretend they are real people, kinda like in I Am Legend, except you call it the Frat House and you make them do that thing where they all jerk off on an Oreo and the last one to ejaculate has to eat the Oreo.... Is that true?

 

Yes, and it's really fun. In fact, it's funny that you mention it as a life-size doll house, because most people think the definition of "doll house" is just "small house", usually attributed to pronunciation drift ("doll" sounds like "small"), but in fact, most people are actually correct and it is really "small house". So by un-doing the pronunciation drift, what you said was "life-size small house", which is actually an oxymoron. Yes, and you are also a moron!

 

\improvdropmic

\applause

[rod aug 5637]

I was driving by this tiny motel bar in Sarasota a couple months ago and saw a sign for a Bubba Sparxxx show, man I wish I could get back in that mud.

[robinsbruce 4985]

I was driving by this tiny motel bar in Sarasota a couple months ago and saw a sign for a Bubba Sparxxx show, man I wish I could get back in that mud.

 

Cant not like this

[gototimsvlogdotnet 2886]

Speaking of my Improv classes, one of the guys who is taking it with me said he took improv classes in Chicago at Second City in the 2008-2009 range (IIRC) under Brian Posehn, which is awesome. He said that he moved to LA afterwards and asked Brian which theater he should continue classes with, and Brian told him that UCB was a joke.

 

Sean, any comments on this?

[honlads 8798]

He said that he moved to LA afterwards and asked Brian which theater he should continue classes with, and Brian told him that UCB was a joke.

 

Sean, any comments on this?

 

Maybe it's a funny good joke. You got a number for Brian I lost it when I bent my Samsung Tocco for a spoof video?

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

yeah one of the best.

i also like more underground guys like el-p and action bronson and aesop rock, or riff raff is blowing up the Internet. or take it back a little, bubba sparx was good in the '00s. if u like old school rap u can't go wrong with the beastie boys. but then again I even like radio rap like macklemore or igfy azalia!

Oh shit I didnt know we were actually going to have a real hip hop discussion! *cracks knuckles*

 

I whole heartedly agree with the El-P love--his Fantastic Damage album was incredible, and the production he did for "Cold Vein" by Cannibal Ox makes that one of my favorite albums ever. Actually the whole Def Jux label from that time (El P/Aesop Rock/Can Ox/C Rayz Walz/S.A. Smash/etc) had a pretty good run. I will never get tired of the Wu Tang Clan and their first wave of solo albums (Liquid Swords/Cuban Links/Return to the 36 Chambers/Tical/Ironman/etc). I will also always have a soft spot for people who subvert the genre in weird, oddball ways like Kool keith and all his aliases, Quasimoto/Madlib, and presently Lil' B (once you wade through the throwaway, half assed stuff Lil B does there is a surprising amount of great tracks in my opinion)

 

And although I used to be one of those snobs who only appreciated the stuff like Jurassic 5/Hieroglyphics/Lootpack/that whole west coast kind of sort of skill based hip hop, Ive developed a real affinity for big, dumb, get fucked up and fight hip hop like all the stuff coming out of Chicago (King L, Chief Keef, Fredo Santana, Katie Got Bandz, etc) and down south (Migos/Gucci Mane, Waka Flocka, etc). Sometimes I want conscious hip hop, other times I just want big stupid Lex Luger beats with rowdy ass lyrics over the top.

 

*takes deep breath*

 

Anyway, sorry if I derailed this thread, but music is a big part of my life and I love talking about it with people.

[honlads 8798]

Some of my favourites are Chance the Rapper, Kendrick, Killer Mike (I'm excited for RTJ2. I love El-p too), Outkast, Danny Brown and Shabazz Palaces.

[kobthatreal 5896]

Greggy you forgot Asher Roth and Mac Miller and the INFORMER, Snow.