Episode 54 — Clark Duke, Our Close Friend

[rod aug 5637]

Iliza, who is your ghost writer? How long has he/she been dead?

[rod aug 5637]

Also, ask agata has been on hiatus since its creation. Sup with that?

 

thank you thelonius junk for the questionspiration

[mwn 5470]

Dear www.iliza.com, how did you get such a cool website name? Do you have to know somebody on the inside?

 

does th popcorn gang has a question or what?

 

speaking of white people music, The Unicorns had a short-lived hip hop side project named Th' Corn Gangg, and I have forever been jealous that I didn't think of that name first (and then apply it to something better; they weren't good).

[alargebucket 1589]

Iliza,

 

In 2007, you won MySpace’s "So You Think You're Funny" online comedy contest. So, do you think you're funny?

 

OR

 

As a Jewish comedian, what percentage of your earnings must be given to Jerry Steinfeld? What's the deal with that?

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

Dear www.iliza.com, how did you get such a cool website name? Do you have to know somebody on the inside?

 

 

 

speaking of white people music, The Unicorns had a short-lived hip hop side project named Th' Corn Gangg, and I have forever been jealous that I didn't think of that name first (and then apply it to something better; they weren't good).

 

 

Wait? Is the insinuation that only nerdy white people can/do listen to HH? I for one happen to be a very large, stylish, muscular black man who is constantly having s*x with only the HOTTEST of women

[kobthatreal 5896]

hey girl, what they do my name Ferrari cause of the trunk in the front. can you say all ten of your catchphrases really fast?

[Andrew 4646]

Iliza,

 

Fuck Marry Kill: Sean, Hayes, and the Engineer.

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Ok. Valerie, what dessert did you eat on your birthday? Do you go for standard birthday cake? Or did you mix it up with like a birthday eclair or something?

 

Great suggestion, Bozos.

 

Anastasia, I had two kinds of cake: chocolate mocha and lemon. There were other desserts involved, but I won't get into the politics of all that.

 

Valerie,

What was your favorite birthday pres?

 

My bf bought me the cheapest Kindle, because his mom hijaked my Kindle Fire. We're like, okay, maybe if she can't use it to surf the web she'll leave it the hell alone. This is also the story for the pilot episode of my new show Everybody Loves Valerie.

 

Valerie, did your family sing the Happy Birthday song, and did they pay up to those sisters PFT likes to reference?

 

I was sung to and it was very uncomfortable. My four year old nephew just stared at the cake the whole time, which I thought was v rude. We paid to use it, yes, we're not criminals.

 

Valerie,

Did Kobe get you anything good, or did he pull that shit where his "return to the basketball courts" is his gift to you for, like, every holiday for the next year?

 

Kobe actually stormed out in the middle of the cake-cutting because we got to talking about the new Fantastic Four and he said Michael B Jordan isn't right for the role of The Human Torch. He wouldn't let it go, so we asked him to leave and he stormed out with a small piece of cake on a paper plate covered in saran wrap.

 

valerie, is it fun to have a birthday where other people care?

 

Let me put it this way: yes.

[robinsbruce 4985]

I got so drunk I danced in public this weekend.

 

 

Sorry I missed your b day veebs. I hope your redacted and your fams made you feel like a special and opulent lady

[greggy 15909]

I was sung to and it was very uncomfortable. My four year old nephew just stared at the cake the whole time, which I thought was v rude. We paid to use it, yes, we're not criminals.

lol