Episode 55 — Lauren Lapkus, Our Close Friend

[alargebucket 1589]

Once you read the Hollywood Handbook, you don't read books anymore...

 

It's the ultimate case of "Eh... The Book Was Better." I don't even read the books I'm adapting into boffo B.O. smashes anymore.

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

Books is movies from before cameras but after rocks and stoned ages. Mostly for studenting, vampires, and hurry pooters. Books movies is only in your brains. ooooo halloweeeeennnzzz spooooooooooookane washkelingtons

[rod aug 5637]

Books is theater of the mind, and movies is live theater which you see using your mind brain, therefore books is movies.

[alargebucket 1589]

Uh oh. I just found this and now I'm not sure what's movies. The little guys is moving so quickly like he do in movies. But there are words and pages and a thumb like books has, you know? Is books movies? Is movies books? Does love real?

 

[NiceDad43 86]

i actually saw a cosmo on this the other day, during the ted talk the host explained that actually movies is paper, but a special kind of paper that a projector reads to the audience (or electronic paper in the modern time), and books is paper you read yourself

[greggy 15909]

i actually saw a cosmo on this the other day, during the ted talk the host explained that actually movies is paper, but a special kind of paper that a projector reads to the audience (or electronic paper in the modern time), and books is paper you read yourself

i must be reading the wrong cosmo, all it ever tells me is how to have better orgasms and how to please my man (not that im complaining)

[Joe McGurl 8358]

i actually saw a cosmo on this the other day, during the ted talk the host explained that actually movies is paper, but a special kind of paper that a projector reads to the audience (or electronic paper in the modern time), and books is paper you read yourself

 

Cosmo is for readings? I thought Cosmo is television that astronaut Neel Da Grass Tyson is hosts of. Is Cosmo books or is Cosmo television or is Cosmo both and is actually movies? I'm more confused than ever!!

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

i must be reading the wrong cosmo, all it ever tells me is how to have better orgasms and how to please my man (not that im complaining)

 

But is YOUR MAN complaining? that is the true question

[Bozos of Basketball 3689]

I just watched all those "Those People" eps instead of working and I have to say Hayes is outstanding in those "Those Peoples." Very funny and great timing and terrific facial expressions. More computers movies please, Hayes.

 

I know I always reference wrestling on here but Sean talked about it this week so I think I'm allowed to. I'm not sure, because this guy is a bit of a "deep cut" but I like to think Sean was thinking of this man.

 

[Andrew 4646]

It's now one week until Halloween, are we doing spooky names like on The Simpsons? I saw Joe McGhoul and Boozos, but I don't know how to change my Internet name? Pls send help.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

It's now one week until Halloween, are we doing spooky names like on The Simpsons? I saw Joe McGhoul and Boozos, but I don't know how to change my Internet name? Pls send help.

 

Im interested in what you are going to change it to...

 

AndrBOO

BADrew

uhhhh....

 

this is tough.

[Casaba 5942]

Androoling zombie

 

Killer Android

 

Dead Mandrew

 

Skelingtandrew

[rod aug 5637]

Rod Ach! Zombies!

 

there

 

pretty as a picture

[Asteck 1250]

All these new people are great! I started on page one and ran out of likes, buss'n the whole way through. Remember when everybody on the forum had to post at least 3 times each for the thread to reach hot status? Those were dark days.

I'm so glad S&H are finally addressing the theory sections of the Handbook, like where Hayes uses Eddie Murphy's Delirious as an example of how to use racism and funny faces to achieve maximum sustainable loffs. Something CBS has been incredibly successful with.

Or Sean's controversial Ricardian Equivalence, where he argues that trying to keep Ricardo Mantalban out of a movie to increase ticket sales won't work because instead of seeing the movie as a free fun outing, people will generally stay home to prepare themselves, knowing that this will lead to an increase in future Mantalban roles at great cost to the family. So in general, Ricardo Mantalban should be in every movie. It's a messed up theory considering the dude's been dead for like 5 years, but Sean swears by it.

Guys, we should all lay off Dan Englar. I met Chris Hardwick recently and he told me to personally thank Mr. engler for how passionately he stood up to the Narnold after he made fun of Hardwick's sister or w/e. So thank you, Dan. He also said that he and Dan would definitely be friends if they ever met.

 

Andy maybe you should put an R in front of your name bc you're phone call was randy,baby (FYI that's from a movie)

[xoValeriexo 4369]

https://www.scribd.com/doc/244303253/The-Tragedie-of-Hollywood-Handbook

 

Shakespeare, babay!

[NiceDad43 86]

Ghost Andrew is pretty scary...zombie andrew is pretty scary...werewolf andrew is pretty scary, but also a little sexy, but i'm scared of that too

[Andrew 4646]

VB I tried to read your script on mobile but it only let me read three out of four pages, I assume everyone dies at the end though like in real Shakespeare.

[rod aug 5637]

so spooky

[Mia Longoria 15]

Ooooh!! I want a spooky new name!!! What should I get?

[rod aug 5637]

Mia LonGORYa

[Mia Longoria 15]

Mia LonGORYa

Of course! It was so obvious. Thanks!

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

Androoling zombie

 

Killer Android

 

Dead Mandrew

 

Skelingtandrew

oooooh damn nice work

[Casaba 5942]

Valerie, I love your eff-ing classy literary work. Well done, m'lady!

 

I had a rough day today at work, so I wrote a completely true autobiographical short story about it:

https://www.scribd.com/doc/244315271/The-real-and-truthful-autobiographical-story-of-Anastasia-Vigo-s-Friday

[Casaba 5942]

PS - VB, you have awakened a writing demon within me and I love it!

[greggy 15909]

mr clements and mr davenport, i think you should just skip HH one week and do a one-shot episode of reality show show in the HH slot instead. or just do 'tanks but no tanks' again on a normal HH ep without making a big deal about it