Episode 59 — Paul Scheer, Our Close Friend

[DEATHMAN 3317]

 

I like your jacket.

Is there gonna be a cut away and you're wearing his jacket and we never see Bernard Shakey again

[brandondryrock 415]

Is there gonna be a cut away and you're wearing his jacket and we never see Bernard Shakey again

 

Unfortunately I can't wear jackets. I'm allergic to them. I just like looking at them from a distance. They are pretty.

[chanson 9697]

Is this a good time to mention I bought Orange Crushes for everyone? Let's have a picnic. Assblaster can bring sandies.

 

Make it a diet Orange Crush (which inexplicably [racism?] cannot be purchased in Washington State) and I'll be there. I'll even bring nanayno bars (like Nanaimo bars but fishier).

[Assblaster(truly_blessed) 125]

Thanks for the support on my sandwich guys. Theres a girl with blue hair that works at my school any tips on talking to her?

[robinsbruce 4985]

Thanks for the support on my sandwich guys. Theres a girl with blue hair that works at my school any tips on talking to her?

 

if she smokes she pokes?

[brandondryrock 415]

Thanks for the support on my sandwich guys. Theres a girl with blue hair that works at my school any tips on talking to her?

 

Ask her where she got her hair at.

[alargebucket 1589]

Thanks for the support on my sandwich guys. Theres a girl with blue hair that works at my school any tips on talking to her?

My instinct tells me she's an angel for another kind, Blaster. Have you seen Blue Is the Warmest Color?

 

Make it a diet Orange Crush (which inexplicably [racism?] cannot be purchased in Washington State) and I'll be there. I'll even bring nanayno bars (like Nanaimo bars but fishier).

Nanaimo bars >>>>>> everything. Very nice summer camp nostalgia going on, Chance. Thank you.

[Bernard_Shakey 3484]

Is there gonna be a cut away and you're wearing his jacket and we never see Bernard Shakey again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWmH9ylqYYQ

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

 

Ask her where she got her hair at.

Oooh, no. I'd go the exact opposite way, and NOT mention her hair. Act like you aren't impressed by it, and that you see blue-headed girls all the time. But if she has a tongue stud, and this is VERY IMPORTANT, you can assume that she likes giving blowjobs and is good at it, and also won't mind if you make jokes about it.

 

E.T.A. Have you considered taking out your sandwich and showing it to her? It seems to have been a big hit with this crowd.

[brandondryrock 415]

Oooh, no. I'd go the exact opposite way, and NOT mention her hair. Act like you aren't impressed by it, and that you see blue-headed girls all the time. But if she has a tongue stud, and this is VERY IMPORTANT, you can assume that she likes giving blowjobs and is good at it, and also won't mind if you make jokes about it.

 

E.T.A. Have you considered taking out your sandwich and showing it to her? It seems to have been a big hit with this crowd.

 

No, ask about her hair. I've been able to pick up multiple girls with hair colors like orange, red, purple, magenta, black, brown, green, blue, silver, gold, bronze, turquoise, fuchsia, yellow, and many other colors. Girls like when you ask about their hair.

[chanson 9697]

Nanaimo bars >>>>>> everything. Very nice summer camp nostalgia going on, Chance. Thank you.

 

You're welcome. I didn't realize they were a summer camp thing. I associate them with my family in Canada and their love of anything named after small cities in Canada. One of my cousins was named Barry after Barrie, Ontario. He ended up being a ferry captain for the BC Ferries and as far as I know never visited Barrie, Ontario. It's weird.

[Bozos of Basketball 3689]

 

No, ask about her hair. I've been able to pick up multiple girls with hair colors like orange, red, purple, magenta, black, brown, green, blue, silver, gold, bronze, turquoise, fuchsia, yellow, and many other colors. Girls like when you ask about their hair.

Are you sure it wasn't all the same girl? Did you have to beat up her exes until coins splashed out and also Zelda noises?

[greggy 15909]

we are clearly all giving you bad advice a(t_b ), what i would do is call up the butterball thanksgiving hotline and ask them, its the perfect time of year for it & they know whats what

[brandondryrock 415]

Are you sure it wasn't all the same girl? Did you have to beat up her exes until coins splashed out and also Zelda noises?

 

Ummmm..now that you mention it, my real name is Scotch Palgrams. I also deposited a lot of coins at CoinStar, but it was Metroid sounds, not Zelda. So no.

[alargebucket 1589]

we are clearly all giving you bad advice a(t_b ), what i would do is call up the butterball thanksgiving hotline and ask them, its the perfect time of year for it & they know whats what

I called and asked them to read me a haiku and they said:

 

Uh, we don't do that.

Why did you even call us?

We just sell turkeys.

 

I got what I wanted.

[Bozos of Basketball 3689]

we are clearly all giving you bad advice a(t_b ), what i would do is call up the butterball thanksgiving hotline and ask them, its the perfect time of year for it & they know whats what

Greggy this is fucking weird. My boss was talking to me TO-DAY about when she used to work at the Butterball hotline. Is you spying on me?

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

wow I went away for two days and you guys added 4 pages of comments. Peeps been busy. I like the discussion questions, but I dont really have anything to add. I am a teacher so I dont have time for "projects" of my own really, except for in summer when the only project Im really that interested is sitting in the sun and drinking beer. Im amazed at some of the cool shit people on this forum can do though.

 

So in summary I have nothing to add

[greggy 15909]

Greggy this is fucking weird. My boss was talking to me TO-DAY about when she used to work at the Butterball hotline. Is you spying on me?

LOOK BEHIND U

[watchayakan 1021]

wow I went away for two days and you guys added 4 pages of comments. Peeps been busy. I like the discussion questions, but I dont really have anything to add. I am a teacher so I dont have time for "projects" of my own really, except for in summer when the only project Im really that interested is sitting in the sun and drinking beer. Im amazed at some of the cool shit people on this forum can do though.

 

So in summary I have nothing to add

Is it true that teachers live at the school?

 

My fourth grade teacher had a Harley and a sports car. You?

[brandondryrock 415]

wow I went away for two days and you guys added 4 pages of comments. Peeps been busy. I like the discussion questions, but I dont really have anything to add. I am a teacher so I dont have time for "projects" of my own really, except for in summer when the only project Im really that interested is sitting in the sun and drinking beer. Im amazed at some of the cool shit people on this forum can do though.

 

So in summary I have nothing to add

 

If drinking beer is a project, then call me the "Project Master."

 

Please call me the project master. It sounds so cool.

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

greggy just hit 3000! Is this the all-time record? Mucho hand claps for him either way. He's (Paul) Scheer genius! And three (S)cheers for Hollywood Handbook and it's friendly forum, it has taught me the merits of kindness.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

 

If drinking beer is a project, then call me the "Project Master."

 

Please call me the project master. It sounds so cool.

that is a pretty BAD ASS nickname, Project Manager

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

Is it true that teachers live at the school?

 

My fourth grade teacher had a Harley and a sports car. You?

 

It is a running joke between my students and me that I live at school. I do have a house though outside of school.

 

I tried to ride a dirt bike once when I was about 13 and fucked up my leg (hey look-a traumatic experience growing up!) so a Harley is not for me. My car is not a sports car, but it IS pretty fast and badass and cool

[greggy 15909]

greggy just hit 3000! Is this the all-time record? Mucho hand claps for him either way. He's (Paul) Scheer genius! And three (S)cheers for Hollywood Handbook and it's friendly forum, it has taught me the merits of kindness.

3000 what?

[brandondryrock 415]

that is a pretty BAD ASS nickname, Project Manager

 

I'm pretty offended that you messed up my Knick-Name. You're lucky I don't hold onto grudges that long. That being said, the grudge starts now.