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dlo burns

Terminator: Genisys (2015)

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It's on Amazon Prime now. It was on at a party and I was half watching it, but didn't completely finish it, so I watched it again to see if I had missed anything. I didn't. It's a convoluted mess that doesn't make any sense. I don't think it would make for a great episode but I had to say what the fuck? The action sucked, the plot sucked, and Reese sucked.

First of all, for an action movie it fails miserably. There's tons of action, but there's no stakes at all. Maybe cause it's PG-13 or maybe because now terminators aren't the indestructible monsters they originally were and a 5 foot 2 woman can hold of the most advanced terminator with a 9mm pistol. Or maybe because the terminators are so incompetent in this movie that skynet doesn't deserve to replace humanity. For example, the T-1000 spoofs Reese, and instead of just killing Sarah, he tries to convince her to shoot the real Reese. Same thing with Termi-Connor. The whole basis of the franchise is sending the machines back in time to kill that bitch and there are plenty of opportunities to do that. But instead there's cgi car chases and helicopter chases and how the fuck did they take out a chopper to have it crash/arrive at the next scene before they got there?

And the plot? Wtf. It makes T3 look like an Oscar contender. Seriously T3 is about as solid and scientific as The Martian by comparison. Why did they do a Star Trek '09 reboot? Why would Skynet even have to do judgment day in that timeline, it seems like, Genisys Os would be pretty legit. What's the motive? Remember the Animatrix? Ya, maybe flesh out the machine antagonists a little bit more next time.

Plus I can't stand Jai Courtney. Quasar hit the nail on the head describing why he was so wrong. And Jk Simmons was completely under utilized. Also fuck casting Matt Smith.

 

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This movie didn't make me laugh in the way I'd want for a bad movie for HDTGM. Mostly it just made me sad. Emilia Clarke actually did a worthy job as Sarah Connor, and I think they could have pulled off some really balls-out-crazy comic book crossover event style timeline shenanigans, which this franchise is uniquely suited for. "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" started to delve into this before it was canceled, with so many characters getting sent back from the future that they started realizing they were coming back from different alternate futures and so had different memories about what was happening in the war.

 

Instead, the movie they made...I can't believe no one looked at the script and pointed out that, while Cameron's movies were about tying the fighting instincts of motherhood in with hope for the human race to outlast its instinct for destruction, this movie can be read as two hot young people deciding to murder their child so they can have a cooler life without him. How is that supposed to leave us feeling?

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