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JulyDiaz

Episode 99 — A View To a Kill: LIVE

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mine would be Vagina Woolf

 

She could have her own catchphrase, where she lays on the bed, stark bollock naked, and said "What have you got to be afraid of?!"

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She could have her own catchphrase, where she lays on the bed, stark bollock naked, and said "What have you got to be afraid of?!"

 

nailed it.

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why would that chef with the wedding cake, presumably a baker, be carrying a giant meat cleaver?

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why would that chef with the wedding cake, presumably a baker, be carrying a giant meat cleaver?

In the event that he used too much cinnamon and the cake needed to be murdered.

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Man, I thought that as a former English major this would be my turn to shine -- I caught both "Jenny Flex/genuflects" and the normal pronunciation of St. John right off. (Can anyone think of a more erudite blow job joke in modern cinema? Because I can't.) But I'm late to the party. So I'll just share this little video from Jane Eyre. About 30 seconds in, someone pronounces St. John as "Sinjin" so you can all hear for yourself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkO51g7oXnw

 

I also wanted to say: Did anyone else get this sense, watching the movie, that Bond would have old man smell? Like that indefinable thing that seems to start oozing out of old white dudes once they're past about 65? ::shudder::

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Le Bon. Simon Le Bon.

 

I must be the only person who doesn't love "A View to a Kill"'s theme. And also the only person in the world who liked a-ha's theme to "The Living Daylights."

I love both songs.

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Re Corrections & Omissions: The most laughably implausible part of 'View to a Kill' is when Max Zorin manages to guide a full size blimp down into the hills of Silicon Valley, sneaking up behind a completely unaware Tanya Roberts, and literally plucked her from the earth. This was despite her being warned from afar by Bond and even seeing the airship before she is actually taken.

 

I also loved the movie poster in which Bond is standing in a shooting stance near the peak of one of the Golden Gate Bridge's towers (the artist even took away the handrails), balancing on a cylindrical suspension bridge cable. This feat is even bested by Tanya Roberts behind him who is also balancing on the cable but needs only one foot planted for balance. Her other foot is left dangling in the wind. The image is more laughable with Bond aming his Walther PPK pistol straight ahead while the evil Zorin is hanging out of a blimp behind him, Uzi submachine-gun in hand. Apparently Zorin can sneak up on anyone in that airship.

 

Enjoyed the podcast review. One of y'all's best!

A+View+to+a+Kill+Poster.2.jpg#a%20view%20to%20a%20kill%201048x1600

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When The SFPD Chief questioned Bond in the murder of the guy in city hall Stacey responded that he couldn't have done it because "This is James Stock of the London Financial Times." I didn't know those guys were allowed to murder people with impunity.

 

Also the KGB agent diffuses his bomb, after Zorin tells him to, by unscrewing one piece from it. That has to be the easiest bomb diffusion in the history of bomb diffusion.

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I watched this film piece of steaming shit after listening to the podcast, and LOVED EVERY FREAKING SECOND OF IT. With that said, I feel like a big, big thing was neglected...

 

THE GUY THAT WAS CONTROLLING THE FUCKING BRIDGE!!!!!

 

Oh my god! First of all, the way he answered the phone was just priceless. I mean, does anybody actually repeat everything a person says on the phone back to them? Then, there was the way he was reacting to the whole situation. He had such a level of non-interest in what was going on around him, I was kind of jealous. Honestly, I feel like this guy is on the same level of terrible acting as the "OH MY GOOOOOOOODDDDD" guy from Troll 2, and that is a difficult place to get to.

 

Did anybody else love that guy as much as me?

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Oh, and are we not going to discuss this happening? After Grampa Bond steals the firetruck, these two police cars seem to crash into each other and.. fuse?

 

tumblr_inline_ngm0xoThZt1rn9822.png

 

 

tumblr_inline_ngm0xdQ6VE1rn9822.png

 

Seriously, what is going ON here? The cops shout at each other from their windows, "We're locked up!" (I think?), and then just... keep driving...but stuck together.

 

It reminds me of what June said about the skiing scene, that Bond snowboarding made the bad guys forget how to ski. Apparently, Bond driving a fire truck made these police officers forget how to drive. And made cars forget how to... car.

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Another Omission: When Bond and Tonya Roberts are leaving the mining room where they got their uniforms, Bond snarkily says to Roberts in her tightly fitting miners jumpsuit, "Pity you couldn't find one that fit." That was in reference to the fact that Roberts apparently threw an on-set fit about getting a jumpsuit that flattered her body instead of one that would logically be found at a construction/mining site. This was a point in filming where Moore and Roberts were not on friendly terms because of Roberts' primadona antics.

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My mind was blown that Jason or Paul didn't make fun of this part during the interminable horse stable scenes:

 

In Zorin's basement, Bond throws that obese henchman into a packaging machine to kill him. The plunger comes down to put the lid on the henchman SO SLOWLY. Instead of a lethal force, it comes down to gently massage him.

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Just a couple quick things...

 

This film notoriously features the worst Bond car ever, a Ford LTD.

 

Also, Zorin dies falling from the Golden Gate Bridger, which is not necessarily a death sentence considering that people have lived from that fall. Hopefully, the producers of new Bond films will realize this and bring Walken back.

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Re Corrections & Omissions: The most laughably implausible part of 'View to a Kill' is when Max Zorin manages to guide a full size blimp down into the hills of Silicon Valley, sneaking up behind a completely unaware Tanya Roberts, and literally plucking her from the earth. This was despite her being warned from afar by Bond and even seeing the airship before she is actually taken.

 

I also loved the movie poster in which Bond is standing in a shooting stance near the peak of one of the Golden Gate Bridge's towers (the artist even took away the handrails), balancing on a cylindrical suspension bridge cable. This feat is even bested by Tanya Roberts behind him who is also balancing on the cable but needs only one foot planted for balance. Her other foot is left dangling in the wind. The image is more laughable with Bond aming his Walther PPK pistol straight ahead while the evil Zorin is hanging out of a blimp behind him, Uzi submachine-gun in hand. Apparently Zorin can sneak up on anyone in that airship.

 

Enjoyed the podcast review. One of y'all's best!

A+View+to+a+Kill+Poster.2.jpg#a%20view%20to%20a%20kill%201048x1600

 

I kept laughing at the length of Bond's shin in this poster. Then I noticed that it is the same width as Tanya's waist, and now I am appalled. But if you just focus on Bond's shin, it is really funny.

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I kept laughing at the length of Bond's shin in this poster. Then I noticed that it is the same width as Tanya's waist, and now I am appalled. But if you just focus on Bond's shin, it is really funny.

 

he's clearly wearing flairs, which is hilarious in 1985

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I kept laughing at the length of Bond's shin in this poster. Then I noticed that it is the same width as Tanya's waist, and now I am appalled. But if you just focus on Bond's shin, it is really funny.

It's like a classier version of a Rob Liefeld piece where NOTHING makes sense in relation to anything else.

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Re Corrections & Omissions: The most laughably implausible part of 'View to a Kill' is when Max Zorin manages to guide a full size blimp down into the hills of Silicon Valley, sneaking up behind a completely unaware Tanya Roberts, and literally plucked her from the earth. This was despite her being warned from afar by Bond and even seeing the airship before she is actually taken.

 

I also loved the movie poster in which Bond is standing in a shooting stance near the peak of one of the Golden Gate Bridge's towers (the artist even took away the handrails), balancing on a cylindrical suspension bridge cable. This feat is even bested by Tanya Roberts behind him who is also balancing on the cable but needs only one foot planted for balance. Her other foot is left dangling in the wind. The image is more laughable with Bond aming his Walther PPK pistol straight ahead while the evil Zorin is hanging out of a blimp behind him, Uzi submachine-gun in hand. Apparently Zorin can sneak up on anyone in that airship.

 

Enjoyed the podcast review. One of y'all's best!

A+View+to+a+Kill+Poster.2.jpg#a%20view%20to%20a%20kill%201048x1600

In addition to the sheer amount of ridiculousness on display, I feel like the traffic on the bridge is a little light. If you're going to go balls out on the blimp, the posing, and whatnot, that bridge should be PACKED. Instead, it looks like it's about 7 am on a Sunday morning.

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Personally I'm of the Matt Gourley school where I like my Bond movies ridiculous or great. So I enjoy watching a View to a Kill, Diamonds are Forever, and Die Another Day. Of them I think Die Another Day is the worst because at least A View to a Kill and Diamonds are Forever have good songs/henchmen.

 

 

 

he's clearly wearing flairs, which is hilarious in 1985

 

Roger Moore was subjected to some terrible 70s and 80s Tuxedos. Everyone makes fun of what Lazenby has to wear in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, but I can't stop looking at Moore's Flairs. Every gun barrel sequence I just think "what awful pants..."

 

 

 

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Corrections and omissions. When James Bond is discussing eugenics with the Nazi scientist at Zorin's party, there is a black man in a tux flirting with two white women in the background. This is no coincidence. After picking up on the cues the film makers' laid down comparing Grace Jones to a horse, we get this African American man directly over Roger Moore's shoulder as the following dialogue is spoken. Remember, this is a tall good looking black man flirting with TWO white women in 1985:

 

James Bond - "Tell me, are you a doctor of medicine?"

 

Nazi Dr. - "No, no, no. I am Mr. Zorin's breeding consultant."

 

J.B. - "Oh really, then you can let me in on a little secret. How is it that you succeed in breeding bloodlines that other experts consider inferrior?"

 

"Ah, selective breeding is important, yah. But more important is conditioning and desire."

 

"Are you talking about people or horses?"

 

"Oh, haha. My principles apply equally to human beings."

 

Are the film makers trying to make some point about African American athletes and nature vs nurture? Are they being super evil racists? Whatever they are doing, their intentions are as murky here as they are everywhere else in the movie.

 

(there isn't another black man on screen until outside City Hall.)

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I listened to the episode right away (obviously), but only got to watch the movie today...I listened to the whole episode picturing Pam Greer instead of Grace Jones. Pretty startling all the way around.

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Matt Gourley and Matt Mira arrived in tuxedos... which is more than Roger Moore could be assed to do. How could there be a James Bond movie with no tuxedo!?

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