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Episode 74 — Kumail Nanjiani, Our Close Friend

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This is my new favorite episode. Sorry Breaking Bad's "Ozymandias." Theres a new Heisenberg in town and he's actually two people named Hayes and Sean. And Kumail is Jesse Pinkman...

 

 

Omg.. PINKman---Walter WHITE... has anyone ever noticed thats colors? And Gustavo, thats ORANGE in spanish!

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Ten minutes in and I am LOST. What's a punch up and why does it take so many people? Are there a lot of very tall and agressive people on set?

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I'll listen to the ep tonight, but for now I have some business to attend to.

 

If Sean and Hayes don’t have Kyle Bosman on the show, here is a list of the bad things I will do to all of you:

 

1. I will shave Hurricane Dennis bald.

 

2. I will watch Birdman without Joe McGurl even though I promised we’d watch it together.

 

3. I will crimp Hayes’ hair while he is sleeping and I’ll reset his alarm so he won’t have time to fix it before the big meeting.

 

4. I will draw unflattering cartoons of Greggy’s children.

 

5. I will change Marshall Mellow’s avatar to a butt with a fart coming out of it.

 

6. I will change RanRan’s name to WalkWalk.

 

7. I will trim Anastasia’s bangs even if they’re not quite ready for a trim.

 

8. I will take from Sean everything that he loves.

 

9. I will freeze Andrew’s bread, making it very inconvenient to make breakfast.

 

10. I will kick Honlads in the nuts.

 

11. I will watch Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery with Asteck and make witty commentary throughout.

 

12. I will help Andy Kneis study for the GRE and I will take it pretty hard if he doesn’t do well.

 

13. I will make Burdrulz homemade pretzels so he’ll never be able to enjoy another pretzel again.

 

14. I will talk up the new Vince Vaughn/Dave Franco movie to TheloniousJunk so he at least considers seeing it in the theater.

 

15. I will recommend a good therapist to AmericanDiaper who can put him on a stable dosage of medication so he can kick that depression for good.

 

16. I will introduce Jacob C to Adam Levine because he actually has a pretty nice voice and maybe he’ll get a record deal out of it, I mean I know it’s a long shot but you never know.

 

17. I will turn the lights off, put a flashlight under my chin, and tell MBOP a scary story.

 

18. I will make JMonsterFace fall in love with me and he will be devastated when he finds out it all started as a bet.

 

19. I will baptize Tim Treese’s first born child whether he wants me to or not.

 

20. I will make Dixon’s ringtone the “Are you Afraid of the Dark?” theme so he will sound scared every time he answers the phone.

 

21. I will watch a mediocre movie with Brgrho and I will go on and on about how good it was.

 

22. I will slit Rod Aug’s throat.

 

23. I will fail to mention you by name in a list I made and it will make you feel like you’re not part of the group.

 

THE LONG POSTS WON'T STOP UNTIL I GET WHAT I WANT.

 

I'm personally hurt but also relieved.

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"They were there too" but you need to scroll down pretty far.

 

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Wow! They are so multi-talented. I never knew that they worked grip and electrical. They must have some strong muscles and a real understanding of safety.

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If Sean has best boy grip, you can guess what he's invited to...

 

 

 

...circle jerk. You know, from last time?

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Revelatory amazingness!

 

MY GOD! I only wish you had discovered this sooner so that we could have asked Dule if Sean and Hayes really were the best at being boys!

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Whoa, some people are getting a more raw deal than others.

Yeah, getting your throat slit is vastly preferable to being left off a list. Rod Aug made out like a bandit

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If Sean has best boy grip, you can guess what he's invited to...

 

 

 

...circle jerk. You know, from last time?

 

Like I said, strong muscles and a real understanding of safety...both great qualities to have in this context.

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This is also already one of the best weeks on the forum already. Im so proud of you all.. Especially the ones who put in actual work, unlike me. Yall are so awesome! (this is how u get likes for zero effort newcomers. Peep game.)

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This was a fantastic episode. Can't wait to play Fight Haver (Fast Drive.) Not really a video gamester but nerds is cool now so I'll do what I have to. Popcorn Gallery was great and good job to everybody for not asking name-based questions, even though you could have said Kumail Orangutan. Also got to feel smug when we were all told to have our parents listen to the show, because my mom is the only person I've been able to convince to listen.

 

Speaking of which -- what episode do you guys use to try to get people to listen? I feel like I have to pick exactly the right one.

 

Hayes and Sean please have that guy on who Veebs wants so I don't have to be named WalkWalk. Thanks in advance.

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Yeah right, Veebs, you can slit Rod Aug's throat all you want but you wouldn't dare watch Birdman without me!

 

hahah good joke, you know that's our thing and I don't even care if Staz loses dem bangz, Birdman is us. Bridman is forever. We are Birdman and you wouldn't dream of it

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Just noticed that the Pirate Cat is back ! Yay !! I was missing that cat face. And McGurl is back to #1 Handsome Boy again. All is right with the world.

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I'd also like to give a special shout-out to A Bear. He knows why.

 

I'd be lying if I said I didn't wipe away a tear at the end of today's ep! Congrats on the now official designation of being funny and nice and cool!

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I'd be lying if I said I didn't wipe away a bear tear at the end of today's ep! Congrats on the now official designation of being funny and nice and cool!

 

I never could have done it without you! You are the real hero, and I don't even care if you plan to brutally murder me or not!

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Yeah right, Veebs, you can slit Rod Aug's throat all you want but you wouldn't dare watch Birdman without me!

 

hahah good joke, you know that's our thing and I don't even care if Staz loses dem bangz, Birdman is us. Bridman is forever. We are Birdman and you wouldn't dream of it

I like attornys-at-law as much as the next guy, but Boyhood is a better feelm.

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I like attornys-at-law as much as the next guy, but Boyhood is a better feelm.

 

Did you get that thing I sent you?

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I did an interview with our national Radio station, RTE, today about the popularity of vinyl. I'm a cool guy who knows about music and works in a music shop.

 

The interviewer asked:

 

"Why is Vinyl back at the top of the charts?"

 

I said:

 

"Vinyl? Oh you know it be tight!"

 

It was met with a pointed silence. The interview didn't last much longer. I had a bit of a laugh though. I doubt it shall be broadcast but if it is I shall post it here immediately.

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I'll listen to the ep tonight, but for now I have some business to attend to.

 

If Sean and Hayes don’t have Kyle Bosman on the show, here is a list of the bad things I will do to all of you:

 

1. I will shave Hurricane Dennis bald.

 

2. I will watch Birdman without Joe McGurl even though I promised we’d watch it together.

 

3. I will crimp Hayes’ hair while he is sleeping and I’ll reset his alarm so he won’t have time to fix it before the big meeting.

 

4. I will draw unflattering cartoons of Greggy’s children.

 

5. I will change Marshall Mellow’s avatar to a butt with a fart coming out of it.

 

6. I will change RanRan’s name to WalkWalk.

 

7. I will trim Anastasia’s bangs even if they’re not quite ready for a trim.

 

8. I will take from Sean everything that he loves.

 

9. I will freeze Andrew’s bread, making it very inconvenient to make breakfast.

 

10. I will kick Honlads in the nuts.

 

11. I will watch Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery with Asteck and make witty commentary throughout.

 

12. I will help Andy Kneis study for the GRE and I will take it pretty hard if he doesn’t do well.

 

13. I will make Burdrulz homemade pretzels so he’ll never be able to enjoy another pretzel again.

 

14. I will talk up the new Vince Vaughn/Dave Franco movie to TheloniousJunk so he at least considers seeing it in the theater.

 

15. I will recommend a good therapist to AmericanDiaper who can put him on a stable dosage of medication so he can kick that depression for good.

 

16. I will introduce Jacob C to Adam Levine because he actually has a pretty nice voice and maybe he’ll get a record deal out of it, I mean I know it’s a long shot but you never know.

 

17. I will turn the lights off, put a flashlight under my chin, and tell MBOP a scary story.

 

18. I will make JMonsterFace fall in love with me and he will be devastated when he finds out it all started as a bet.

 

19. I will baptize Tim Treese’s first born child whether he wants me to or not.

 

20. I will make Dixon’s ringtone the “Are you Afraid of the Dark?” theme so he will sound scared every time he answers the phone.

 

21. I will watch a mediocre movie with Brgrho and I will go on and on about how good it was.

 

22. I will slit Rod Aug’s throat.

 

23. I will fail to mention you by name in a list I made and it will make you feel like you’re not part of the group.

 

THE LONG POSTS WON'T STOP UNTIL I GET WHAT I WANT.

 

 

AM I DEPRESSED? I feel like everyone else got real threats, but I just got a nice offer to get some help.

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Hey gang, a short film that I did last fall was just put up on youtube today. So if you'd like to check it out, you can do so here:

 

 

It's less than 10 minutes and you get to watch me be very handsome and cute and also funny. You don't HAVE to watch but I'd certainly appreciate it!

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Wow, you're in a big time movie! Man, lots of forumers getting onto podcasts and movies and all the media. When will it be my time to shine?

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