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Episode 74 — Kumail Nanjiani, Our Close Friend

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RIP "Ummm, ACTUALLY, that's gross" The official catchphrase of the Hollywand Handbook Forum.

 

Gone too soon

 

Oh shit! I forgot about Um, actually, that's gross. We can have more than one catchphrase right?

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Does anyone on here know who Tom Friedman is?

 

 

Yes.

 

Ugh.

 

He won a Pulitzer though...

 

I shouldn't be so harsh, sometimes what he says about world affairs is interesting. Not very groundbreaking, but interesting.

 

Edit: Unless that's not your thing. Then it's probably not interesting.

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Dear Sean or Hayes,

 

Will one of you guys be on my podcast? The premise is this: I told the boys on the football team that I have a really hot girlfriend and now senior prom is coming up and they're all expecting to see this really hot girl. Also, I told my parents that they could meet her at dinner before the dance. So would either of you guys be willing to come on my podcast and pretend to be my girlfriend? I'll drive you to the dance and pay for dinner and everything. It would be funny if you showed up in "THE dress." That would definitely score some points with my dad because he thinks I'm gay and I'm not but I've never had a girlfriend and am too scared to ask Stacy Giovanucci to prom because obviously she's going to want to go with Kevin Olimpio and how can any guy compete with him? Anyway, shoot me a text or you can answer on here and we'll work out the logistics. Thanks in advance

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This is actually my podcast, I'm happy to answer any questions!

RZfrqKL.jpg

 

I have a question. Is it canon? My story about the first day on set of baby grandpa. I think so, but you're the expert.

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I mean, is there really any point posting now if you can't get a like from JMonsterface ? Do you think he will cave soon?

 

New competition --- get JMonsterface to like your post !

 

Presented without comment

 

kMviavv.jpg

 

QW53qxA.jpg

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Welcome to my cool guys list.

 

*Smirks, slips shades on but misjudges a little and pokes his eye out*

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Presented without comment

 

kMviavv.jpg

 

QW53qxA.jpg

 

But this was from before he stopped giving likes right ? I'm trying to lure him out into liking again, just for giggles.

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Yes, he stopped liking for now and so of course I immediately thought how fun it would be to play with this !

 

JMonsterface .... I know you're reading this. What's it gonna take ?

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The pretzels were nice greggy but I think I fucked up the boiling part, Swedish baking soda probably doesn't have enough pretzel units to work good. So they did not end up photogenic enough

its possible i wasnt clear what kind of pan i meant in the instructions, i meant something kind of shallow. if you're using something bigger like with 10 cups of water use 2/3 a cup of baking soda

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The pretzels were nice greggy but I think I fucked up the boiling part, Swedish baking soda probably doesn't have enough pretzel units to work good. So they did not end up photogenic enough

Thank god you're ok. When you didn't come back I assumed you forgot to put the car in park when you were kneading your dough.

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its possible i wasnt clear what kind of pan i meant in the instructions, i meant something kind of shallow. if you're using something bigger like with 10 cups of water use 2/3 a cup of baking soda

Ya, I ended up using way too big of a pot for the amount of baking soda I used, I realized afterwards. Mine still came out yummy, but not quite as pretzely as I had hoped. Next time ima make it rain baking soda.

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i will revise the instructions

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Haha! That might be a weird conversation. Also, I haven't talked to them for about a year, so who knows if they remember me. They used to play with my husband Paul's band Primitive Hearts a bunch. But Primitive Hearts broke up and Cool Ghouls got more popular, so we don't see them much any more.

Oh, I've heard such good things about Primitive Hearts! That's too bad they broke up.

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k i fixed the instructions, you can use the original doc still or if you printed it out write on there "use 1/3 cup of baking soda per 5 cups of water"

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yeah pretty much, first I had too small a pot, then too big, and then a large pan which was juuuust right.

also unrelated: if you casually dump a load of sodium bicarbonate into a pot of boiling water things get real interesting real quick

 

Well, you know what they say about Swedish baking soda. "Mmm...BORK-BORK-BORK!"

 

(That's a quote from the Muppet Show, which is a television program that we used to have in the United States. I hope it isn't offensive to you.)

(nah it's cool, I actually grew up in Connecticut in the late 80's to early 90's so I'm all about dem Muppets and Flintstone Fruity Pepples but I haven't figured out yet how to get the most likes out of that backstory so keep it on the downlow)

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Not that there was ever a question, but, the fact that there is recipe sharing on this forum cements it as the best ever.

 

Hollywood COOKbook?

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Potential recipes:

 

Official popcorn gallery popcorn

 

Gmail roulades

 

Teaser freezer pops

 

Eh! Foo wrong

 

 

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