The Man in The Iron Mask (1998)

[SarahHovell 1]

The man in the iron mask would be a brilliant topic for hdtgm don't you think? I want to know what June thinks of all Leos hair, there's plenty of boobs for Jason and Paul has gotta talk about crazy john malkovitch.

This is and movie is awful, but I still watch it every time it appears on itv2 on a Sunday afternoon. I can't help myself. But how gross his face is when they first take off the mask still gives me the boak.

Its gotta be done! Please..:-)

[nthurkettle 148]

This deserves a bump for having such an insanely top-shelf cast of actors - none of whom seem to be acting in the same movie (or even bothering to try to sound French), and all of whom are fighting against dialogue which is trying to be heightened and romantic but is really just jaw-droppingly inane. Watch Gabriel Byrne try to sell the line: "I know to love you is a treason against France. But not to love you, is a treason....AGAINST MY HEART."

 

Meanwhile, John Malkovich clearly gave up as soon as the check cleared. Listen to the listless way he mumbles "we feared the mask would destroy you..."

 

This was the writer of Braveheart making his directing debut and he clearly thought he could make the ultimate literary romantic action epic, and it is just SO HOWLINGLY BAD.

[RyanSz 3140]

I remember being confused seeing this because when they initially free the titular character they swap him with I believe a corpse, but that wasn't specified at the time so as a kid I thought they had done the switch between the King and prisoner. So when I watched the rest of the movie until the point that their ploy is revealed I thought the Man in the Iron Mask was acting douchey in order to keep up the appearance of the vengeful king and was completely confused when it was revealed that they hadn't switched him out yet.

[nthurkettle 148]

Bumping because this was Leonardo DiCaprio's first movie after becoming the most famous actor on Earth in Titanic and he's trying to be such a serious shouty grown-up Actor and he still looks 15.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRal_feCStc

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

I think Gerard Depardieu will go down as the ugliest musketeer in cinematic history.

[nthurkettle 148]

I think Gerard Depardieu will go down as the ugliest musketeer in cinematic history.

 

And I think it was actually a terrible idea to cast someone so French when the rest of the casting choices are just an IHOP full of DGAF. You've got American, British, Irish, none of them especially trying to pass as French; and then you've got Gerard, who's, like, a 10/10 on the Chevalier Scale of Frenchness. It emphasizes their non-Frenchness to the extent of making it all more absurd.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

I hadn't even thought of that before but now that you bring it up I'm really bummed they didn't make everyone speak in a French accent.