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DeathToMikeyBay

The signs of a bad movie list

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EDITED TO ADD: Come to think of it...why be ageist? Anytime any character raps in a movie, full stop. And, if somewhere in the course of the person's poorly busted rhyme they manage to drop their character's name, game fucking over! I can't think of a single instance where this ever came off as looking cool. My only caveat to this would be if the movie is specifically about someone becoming a rapper. If that's the case, I might give it a pass.

 

Maybe you just have issues with Hip Hop and Rapping in general. Is the "full stop" mean you stop watching the movie? Because, it depends on the quality of the rap and intention. Dig deeper. My friend.

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Maybe you just have issues with Hip Hop and Rapping in general. Is the "full stop" mean you stop watching the movie? Because, it depends on the quality of the rap and intention. Dig deeper. My friend.

 

That's not exactly what I said (2 years ago). "Full Stop" doesn't mean "stop watching the movie." "Full Stop" means "period." I also said in my final two sentences that if the movie is about rapping or hip hop, then it's fine. I'm saying, if you're watching a movie that has nothing to do with rapping, like, Hotel Transylvania, and Dracula starts rapping (which he does) then you're probably watching a bad movie,

 

I haven't gone back to check, but I think the rest of my post had to do with elderly people rapping for comedic effect. Again, the issue isn't with the rapping itself. The issue is, "look at this old person rap isn't that funny?"

 

But, I'll gladly withdrawal the point if you can give me a movie, that isn't about rapping or music in general, where a character starts rapping inexplicably and it comes off "cool."

 

 

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I'm saying, if you're watching a movie that has nothing to do with rapping, like, Hotel Transylvania, and Dracula starts rapping (which he does) then you're probably watching a bad movie,

But Hotel Transylvania is suprisingly decent...

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Ex-fiancés.

 

Sorry if that was already mentioned. "Congo" and "Wicker Man" have ex-fiancés, to name a couple.

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How about anytime someone has to film a follow up documentary attacking critics of his movie. Watched Heckler by Jamie Kennedy a few months back and was blown away at how quickly it went from an interesting discussion on hecklers in stand up comedy to Kennedy lamenting the fact that nobody "got" Malibus Most Wanted or Mask 2.

 

http://www.imdb.com/videoplayer/vi175046681

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But, I'll gladly withdrawal the point if you can give me a movie, that isn't about rapping or music in general, where a character starts rapping inexplicably and it comes off "cool."

 

I mean, OBVIOUSLY...

giphy.gif

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I mean, OBVIOUSLY...

giphy.gif

 

Ah, but that is not inexplicable. It's a rap concert!

 

This is more like it:

 

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Ah, but that is not inexplicable. It's a rap concert!

 

This is more like it:

 

 

Point reDRAWN!

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For new movies, at least, if there is a big advertising blitz right before it is released I know to avoid it. See BFG, that King Arthur movie, Batman v Superman, Divergent...

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Dozens of writing credits.

 

In the UK, heavy advertising rotation for the film on the sides of buses.

 

Five star reviews from shit newspapers

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In the UK, heavy advertising rotation for the film on the sides of buses.

 

Five star reviews from shit newspapers

 

For the US:

 

Glowing review is from a single obscure radio/TV station, website, or even a Twitter account. Sometimes this is (intentionally) written in font too small to read.

 

There's also the mysterious ones where the review is credited to someone at a TV network that has no known reviewer, i.e. " 'IT'S THE BEST FILM OF THE YEAR!" -John Smith, FOX-TV." Who is he? Someone who does reviews on a local FOX affiliate somewhere? Someone who does reviews for the handful of stations owned and operated by FOX? Some random person who works for FOX TV and happened to like it, or maybe it's a FOX film?

 

Speaking of which, 100 bonus points if the "reviewer" is in any way connected to the film. I've seen spectacular "reviews" that were from the movie's Twitter account, and there's a notorious case where Rolling Stone financed one of those American Pie direct-to-DVD sequels and also provided all of the great review snippets for it's commercials.

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One that I think sums up a lot of the ones listed in this thread: Things that were once extremely trendy.

 

Not actors or movie tropes, more like outside cultural things that were big at the time. They're generally a sign that they were desperate to appear "hip," possibly because their movie had little else to offer.

 

 

Rapping in a film that's not about rap, breakdancing (Ghoulies), nu-metal (Stealth), parkour, etc.

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One that I think sums up a lot of the ones listed in this thread: Things that were once extremely trendy.

 

Not actors or movie tropes, more like outside cultural things that were big at the time. They're generally a sign that they were desperate to appear "hip," possibly because their movie had little else to offer.

 

 

Rapping in a film that's not about rap, breakdancing (Ghoulies), nu-metal (Stealth), parkour, etc.

 

 

 

HEY! Stealth was not about nu-metal it was very clearly about Incubus. Stealth would have been twice as hilarious if Korn had been the ones to have had like 8 songs on that movies soundtrack.

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HEY! Stealth was not about nu-metal it was very clearly about Incubus. Stealth would have been twice as hilarious if Korn had been the ones to have had like 8 songs on that movies soundtrack.

 

Yeah, I think you're right. I dunno how I got it into my head the Incubus was nu-metal, other than that it was from around the time that genre was big. There's plenty of other nu-metal-heavy movies out there, although I can't think of any right now.

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Yeah, I think you're right. I dunno how I got it into my head the Incubus was nu-metal, other than that it was from around the time that genre was big. There's plenty of other nu-metal-heavy movies out there, although I can't think of any right now.

Having a very dark, embarrassing Nu-Metal past myself, I do remember this soundtrack....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dracula_2000_(soundtrack)

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In light of The Howling II:... Your Sister is a Werewolf along with some other bad movies I've watched recently I propose this addition to the list of signs of a bad movie:

 

The movie got the rights to one song and plays it non-stop.

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Colon in the title.

 

Crank 2: High Voltage

Punisher: War Zone

Leprechaun: In the Hood

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn

Birdemic: Shock and Terror

Speed 2: Cruise Control

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

Easy Rider: The Ride Back

Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

TMNT 2: Secret of the Ooze

Mannequin 2: On the Move

Highlander II: The Quickening

xXx: The Return of Xander Cage

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf

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Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf

Counterpoints:

 

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

2001: A Space Odyssey

The Lord of the Rings: (any of them)

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Doctor Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

X-Men: Days of Future Past

John Wick: Chapter 2

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

The Raid: Redemption

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Counterpoints:

 

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

2001: A Space Odyssey

The Lord of the Rings: (any of them)

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Doctor Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

X-Men: Days of Future Past

John Wick: Chapter 2

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

The Raid: Redemption

Touche!

 

I wonder what the actual hit rate is.

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I know it's not necessarily a sign of a bad movie, but: trailers with melancholy covers songs. What's with this trend? I mean, seriously, who hears these slow-motion butchered songs with fragile-voiced singers and are all, like, "I gotta pay money to see this sad shit!"?

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I know it's not necessarily a sign of a bad movie, but: trailers with melancholy covers songs. What's with this trend? I mean, seriously, who hears these slow-motion butchered songs with fragile-voiced singers and are all, like, "I gotta pay money to see this sad shit!"?

This trend started with Donnie Darko (a good movie, to be sure)

 

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That song wasn't used in the trailer, though, was it? I thought it was just in the movie.

 

I would say that this Tears For Fears cover actually does something different with the source material and it's really novel and well executed.

 

What I'm talking about are these nameless, faceless (can anyone name the "artists" performing these songs?), slow, morose, and suicide-inducing covers with wafer-thin, delicate vocals that are in EVERY film trailer these days. These covers are supposed to denote gravity and manipulate emotions, usually juxtaposed with 'splosions, characters looking off into the distance, and armies running into confrontation.

 

I feel like the last one I heard was a cover of "All Along the Watchtower."

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