Episode 88 — Neil Campbell, Our Close Employee

[SteveH 11126]

this is infinitely more funny now that I can hear your voice saying it in my mind (Andrew)

[Casaba 5942]

Some questioned why Colt's father would take him to a Hooters in the first place. It seemed to be in poor judgment to take a young impressionable boy to a place that teaches objectification and misogyny. But after the photo, no one said anything. It was destiny that poor judgment created this historic meeting.

[SteveH 11126]

"When you got a name like Colt Barton, you're gonna start going to Hooters when you're in middle school. Believe me. "

 

-Joe Montana

[Toro y Moist 695]

[chanson 9697]

I met Joe McGurl from the Hollywood Handbook forum on a Google Hangout one time...

[SteveH 11126]

 

I think we have a winner. If someone could make a video with the radiohead song that would be great. Thanks.

[watchayakan 1021]

Guys, did I ever tell you about the time I saw Jean Grey's hooters in a shack?

[Andrew 4646]

INT. HOOTERS - DAY

 

COLT tears his view away from the waitress but his LITTLE BONER stays rock hard.

 

COLT

Drop the 'The'. Just 'Shaq'. It's cleaner.

[reallycoolhat 257]

Shap only cried twice in his life. Once when Tracy Morgan slapped his bottom in snl. And once when he met colt Barton.

The rest is shaqstory.

[Toro y Moist 695]

Rashida Jones: You guys ate twenty-two hundred wings in 2 hours?

 

Shaq: Thousand. Twenty-two thousand.

[Toro y Moist 695]

Rashida Jones: You guys ate twenty-two hundred wings in 2 hours?

 

Shaq: Thousand. Twenty-two thousand.

Quoted wrong post. Please ignore. Or not. Live your life.

Edited June 21, 2015 by Toro y Moist

[Toro y Moist 695]

Or whatever her character name was in the thing.

[watchayakan 1021]

Guys, has Colt been giving us the whole story?!

[burdrulz 1760]

I think it's so funny you guys are talking about Hooters. My friend Dustin and I do this radio show and the theme this month was hooters related.

 

If you like good vibe music and attempt at jokes about hooters and making fun of florida... than this is for you.

 

 

I will attempt to read all of your funny stuff about hooters... and Shaq apparently.

 

[A Bear 1813]

[souprman 10477]

please tell me Pesci plays Shaq.

 

edit> holy shit it's 175 min long! fuckin amazon instant wont work!

[kobthatreal 5896]

Shaq meeting Colt Barton? Or are you asking me about Colt Barton meeting Shaq? I remember thinking to myself at the time "you're never going to forget this." but my girlfriend had recently dumped me so i really didnt want to think about or remember anything. I pop 2 xans and down a double jack, essentially eternal sunshinig my brain into mush. I woke up the next day with a size 28 sneaker that was also a rc car and a cell phone on my right hand, and a set of dog tags in my left that read "daddy luvs u colt." no joke his dad types like a little girl or somethin. I check my moto razr and scroll thru the pics to try to make some sense of what happened and every pic is that famous photo of shaq and colt. Now that picture is everywhere... Its like the coca cola logo, yaknow? But what no one seemed to notice the tall slender man in the back of the photo, kinda just standin there lookig like shawn bradley but for some reason he makes me and a lot of my friends want to kill other kids. And if it feels like i gave up on this story half way than you really got my number so call me maybe.

[SteveH 11126]

Shaq: I'm just saying I need to do something substantial in order to get the attention of the Suns.

Colt: Why?

Shaq: Because they're exclusive. And fun. And they lead to a better life.

Colt: Charles Barkley didn't get elected MVP because he was a member of the Phoenix club.

Shaq: He was a member of the 76ers, and yes he did.

[souprman 10477]

too soon SteveH

[Andrew 4646]

LAWYER: Mr. Barton, do I have your full attention?

COLT BARTON: [stares out the window] No.

LAWYER: Do you think I deserve it?

COLT BARTON: [looks at lawyer] What?

LAWYER: Do you think I deserve your full attention?

COLT BARTON: I had to swear an oath before we began this deposition, and I don't want to perjure myself, so I have a legal obligation to say no.

LAWYER: Okay - no. You don't think I deserve your attention.

COLT BARTON: I think if your clients want to sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall, they have the right to give it a try - but there's no requirement that I enjoy sitting here listening to people lie. You have part of my attention - you have the minimum amount. The rest of my attention is back at that Hooters in Phoenix, where my dad and I met a man that no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of beating at H-O-R-S-E.

[pauses]

COLT BARTON: Did I adequately answer your condescending question?

[rod aug 5637]

"The thing about Colt Barton is that he exudes confidence. Most guys, when they meet a man as big as Shaq, would be shaking in their boots. When Shaq met Colt, he pissed his fucking pants. That was the first and last time I had ever seen Shaq cry tears out of his face." - Doc Rivers

[SteveH 11126]

Is this better than F.R.I.E.N.D.S?

[rod aug 5637]

"One time Colt Barton liked my post and I grew Shaq sized Hooters, the rest is history."

- Kate Upton

[kobthatreal 5896]

Steve i know you look cool as fuck in ur new avatar but when it looks like some one is pitching a nono you dont bring it up!

[Joe McGurl 8358]

"One time Colt Barton liked my post and I grew Shaq sized Hooters, the rest is history."

- Kate Upton

 

please don't bring up Kate Upton, she is reserved 4 my fanfics only