Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×
agata

Episode 89 — Erin Whitehead, Our Close Friend

Recommended Posts

sy1hzn.jpg

2u56dt5.jpg

Steve, DM me for my paypal info.

  • Like 20

Share this post


Link to post

Hilarious.

 

Do you accept square pay?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

...continued

 

INT: Scott Aukerman's office

SCOTT:

Thanks for getting here so quickly, gentlemen. I know June is a busy month with all those dads and grads.

HAYES

No problem at all, Mr. Aukerman. I understand the urgency of the situation, especially considering Mr. Clements and I almost met the criteria for the killer's victims ourselves.

SEAN

HAYES! Don't talk like that.

SCOTT:

with 2 of the best minds in the field working together on this, I hope we can catch this guy quickly. Which one of you is number 1 on the call sheet by the way?

HAYES

There really isn't a call sheet for what we do...

SEAN

AND I ALMOST THINK THAT CALL SHEETS AREN'T NEED ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, BECAUSE THE MODELS ARE CHANGING? ME AND HAYES HATE STATUS AND WE AREN'T CONCERNED WITH THAT KIND OF STUFF..

SCOTT

(cuts him off)OK, Sean. Don't get all worked up. I need you focused. Obviously we've identified the link between the victims is they're all people who used to have a podcast on Earwolf, but no longer do. And then of course there's Kevin Pollack, but I think that was just an anomaly. This information stays in this room, but I'm sure you guys know that we've got a lot of dead weight around here. Now I can't cancel any shows because I'd basically be murdering people if I did that. The sooner we catch this guy, the sooner we can get rid of those jabronies at the Wolf Den. I mean, I've heard of Wolf Den, but Wolf Dead? Oh, actually I've heard of that too. Is that a Clue? Did you know in the UK they call is Cluedo?

SEAN

We hear you, Mr. Aukerman. Hayes and I are just about to go check out the Jeff Garlin crime scene. I'm going to close my eyes and then a pendulum thing will happen and I should be able to imagine myself as being killer and piece together ugxactly what happened.

HAYES:

Thank you for your time Mr. Aukerman. Are we still on for dinner Friday night?

SCOTT:

FRIDDAYYY NIGHT LIGHTSSSSS.

HAYES:

BYEEEEEEE.

END SCENE

  • Like 11

Share this post


Link to post

Finally listened to the episode and I gotta say, this podcast is pretty funny

  • Like 16

Share this post


Link to post

On vacation so late to the game.

 

Ck1NLXY.jpg?1

  • Like 10

Share this post


Link to post

Also, took about 4 listens to get through the podcast. Funny stuff.

Share this post


Link to post

In addition to the episode being very funny, I was particularly moved by Erin's story about her aforementioned HH experience.

When I listened to the original episode where the Wild Horses were brought in for being loud, I thought it was so cool that these people and this comedy world exists.

That incredibly smart and funny people are everywhere, outside each other's doors, and they can barely know each other and still be so funny together. It's was something to behold.

After finishing this most recent episode, I went downstairs to cut watermelon where I did some thinking.

Erin does occasionally give me a jolt of anxiety or awkwardness, which I think is something to look deeper into my own life about, but something about this event was different.

It seemed brave of her to admit her experience, and it was unique that we got to see the origin of the bit and see the hidden aftermath later.

Did I feel pathos about the misunderstanding? Was it her straightforward honesty? Was it because crying and defensiveness was mentioned? That someones actions caused unintentional "pain"? Was there someone to blame? What lesson is to be learned? Why am I asking myself all these questions?

On one level, It rattled my fantasy about how amazing it would be to be in their comedic world.

On another, it bolstered the fantasy further that they turned something, if it were in my life I would consider shitty or embarrassing, and instead made humor come from it.

Not sure I landed on any real takeaway though.

I spent a whole watermelon thinking about this.

  • Like 24

Share this post


Link to post

now this guy is really bringing something to the table. Not like that awful Haiku man. Remember him?

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post

Finally listened to the episode and I gotta say, this podcast is pretty funny

 

Nailed it!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

When one makes a claim

He had best make good on it

Death to false Haikus...motherfucker

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post

 

lol knicks

^

Someone called that young man "Mingus pingus" and i thought it was very funny

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

...continued

 

EXT: UCB THEATER. NIGHT.

 

Yellow police tape blocks off the sidewalk in front of the theater. A crowd of people are gathered - police, forensics, reporters, 2 fans, and also Larry David. Hayes and Sean lift the caution tape to make their way inside and are met by 2 of the forensics experts.

 

SOUPRMAN

Dr Davenport! Mr. Clements! You guys got here just in time. LAPD is about to go in there and contaminate the crime scene

 

DIXON

You boys have probably seen worse, but it's pretty scary in there. The killer left us a nice GIF...i mean gift.

 

SEAN

Scary? There aren't any skelingtons in there, are there?

 

SOUPRMAN

No, I mean, technically I guess underneath his skin is a skelington, but you could say that about anyone I guess.

 

SEAN

no.

 

HAYES

Agent Souprman, a skelington is a bone man. It's a totally different thing. I would expect someone in your profession to know that.

 

SEAN

too scary.

 

HAYES

You can do this Sean, we need you. There are no skelingtons in there. Just Jeff Garlin's tongueless corpse.

 

SEAN

OK, let's see what we've got.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT: UCB THEATRE.

 

Jeff Garlin's corpse is posed, sitting upright, in a chair, center stage, mouth agape, tongue removed. LAPD Detective Andrew approaches.

 

DET. ANDREW

Cheerio, lads. I hope you can help shed some light on this case. All of the killings certainly follow ONE THREAD, but this guy just doesn't leave a trace of evidence.

 

Sean approaches the corpse and gazes at it for a few minutes before closing his eyes. We're then taken inside his mind:

 

It's the night of the final "By the Way" taping, unbeknownst to Garlin. After the audience and everyone else has left, Jeff Garlin walks out of his dressing room and sits on the empty stage, reflecting on the amazing interview he'd just done. A shadow appears behind the curtain. A tall, handsome, well-educated, funny, nice shadow. The shadowy figure approaches Garlin from behind. "By the Way", he says, "this was your final show." He injects a syringe into Garlin's neck and proceeds to remove his tongue.

 

SEAN

This is my design.

 

Sean spots something underneath Garlin's shoe. A note. "By the Way, I also took his liver" it read. Sean flashes back to the party at Hayes' house the other night. He remembers eating that delicious Foie Gras (how did Hayes even get Foie Gras in California?), and commenting to Hayes on how he'd never tasted Foie Gras like this before. Sean also remembers thinking Hayes' response was strange: "Please curb your enthusiasm, Sean. This Foie Gras is one of kind and you're not likely to have anything like it again"

 

SEAN (turns to Hayes)

He's eating them.

 

HAYES

Who? Who's eating who?

 

SEAN

The killer! He's eating his victims. Think about it. Each victim was missing a particular body part.

 

DET. ANDREW

That cheeky old chap...

 

 

END SCENE

  • Like 13

Share this post


Link to post

I'm in LA for a couple of days for my friend's wedding. If Hayzie Bone or Clem Dawg want a riveting interview with a Georgian (deep south) by way of Maryland (has ghosts) internet-ordained minister, hit me up.

 

I looked that the UCB schedule for the weekend, figures the one time I'm in California, Franklin is closed for a couple of days. I'm just gonna have to find my comedy the old fashioned way, by reading Dilbert comics.

  • Like 11

Share this post


Link to post
I'm in LA for a couple of days for my friend's wedding. If Hayzie Bone or Clem Dawg want a riveting interview with a Georgian (deep south) by way of Maryland (has ghosts) internet-ordained minister, hit me up.

 

I looked that the UCB schedule for the weekend, figures the one time I'm in California, Franklin is closed for a couple of days. I'm just gonna have to find my comedy the old fashioned way, by reading Dilbert comics.

 

 

UCB franklin is closed for Dcm in New York but I'm pretty sure ucb sunset is still open! And on Friday Lauren lapkus is doing a two person show cause she won't be at Dcm. Just if you're interested! You could also always just BURST into the earwolf radio labs and hide under the table while people are recording.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

My 6 year old son was whining about how bored he was all morning. So I said let's take a walk.

 

I made him walk about 3 miles with me. We got home and he recovered after sitting down and watching one episode of gumball, and I feel like I'm not gonna move for several days.

 

Getting old is the worst.

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post

When is he going to be old enough for Regular Show

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Finally got to listen to Souprman over on I4H! You were really great, man!

 

I just have one question now. Do I want a Leesa or a Casper mattress??????

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

You guys, I know the forums aren't the place for this kind of stuff but we live in a post-Obama on WTF world now.

 

I just heard that all people who love each other can get married now? Our country is doomed under this president. He talks to Marc Maron, he wants states to not have racist flags flying everywhere, he wants people who are sick to have access to medical care? Pretty soon people aren't going to be able to carry around military grade automatic weapons or even bazookas.

 

Edit: Bazooka for sale. Best offer. Interesting trades considered. Send me a private message if interested.

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post

When is he going to be old enough for Regular Show

^

We watch every episode. As a family.

 

He's been into it since he was 4 I think.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

You know who else watches every episode of Regular Show as a family?

 

540807_10151877703135545_2092806948_n.jpg?oh=ec0d959c2381cfd2776362b7ba37801b&oe=56322317

 

MY MOM!!!!!

 

 

(my daughter drew that)

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post

×