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Episode 93 — Patrick Walsh, Our Close Friend

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forum.earwolf.com/topic/24379-petition-for-hollywood-handbook-t-shirts/

 

Oops I pasted here instead of the browser bar

hang on a sec I'm totally gonna make fun of you. it'll be almost as good as Norm's joke.

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is the new thing to just post whatever the fuck is in your head while your browser is open? Holy fuck

forum.earwolf.com/topic/24379-petition-for-hollywood-handbook-t-shirts/

 

Oops I pasted here instead of the browser bar

 

right?

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I'd like to make this week's forum thread more interactive and community oriented, basically like a free-flowing conversation between a group of friends, which is ultimately what we are (although I'll slit your fucking throats if I think I can get a like out of it and don't even ask what I'd do for a Sean or Hayes like). Someone please choose from among the following topics, and hopefully we can get to know each other, and maybe even ourselves a little bit better.

 

Work/School

  • As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
  • What is your favorite class in school?
  • Do you do any extracurricular activities at school?
  • What do you like best about your job?
  • What do you like least about your job?
  • If you could change something about your job to make it better, what would it be?
  • Describe your dream job.

Hobbies/Sports

  • Do you play any sports?
  • What is your favorite sports team?
  • What do you like to do in your spare time?

Entertainment

Books, movies, TV shows, music, are all great topics to talk about.

  • What kind of music do you listen to?
  • What is a movie you like that most other people don't seem to like?
  • What is your favorite TV show of all time?
  • What was your favorite children's book?

News/Weather

  • What do you think about this crazy weather we're having?
  • Did you hear about the [News Event]?

Food/Drink

  • What is your drink of choice?
  • What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
  • What do you usually eat for breakfast?
  • Do you like to cook?

Travel/Vacation

  • If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
  • Where was the last place you traveled to?
  • Tell me what your dream vacation would be.

Dreams/Hypotheticals

  • If you had just won a million dollars, what would you do with it?
  • If you knew that you only had a year left to live, what would you do?
  • What is something you have never done but would like to do?
  • If you had three wishes, what would they be?
  • If you had the chance to start any business, what would it be?
  • Would you rather go a week without your phone or a week without your toothbrush?
  • If you could send a message to the whole world, what would it be?
  • If you had to pick a new name for yourself, what name would you pick?

Personal/Relationships

  • What is more important to you, friends or family?
  • What is one weird thing about you?
  • Why did your parents give you the name ______?
  • How have you changed in the past year?
  • What is something you would like to become better at?
  • Describe your perfect man/woman.

Other

  • What was the last thing that you took a picture of?
  • What type of phone do you have?

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I'll get it started, but feel free to let it flow naturally.

 

Did you hear about the [9/11]?

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zooooooooooooos!

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I'll get it started, but feel free to let it flow naturally.

 

Did you hear about the [9/11]?

 

I remember something happening that day but I can't put my finger on it.

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Did you hear about the [9/11]?

Wanna feel old? People were born after 9/11. It's in their history books or some shit.

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Guys, don't make me look like a fool. Get on that t shirt petition forum and let your voice be heard.

 

That means you Sean and Hayes. I'm the Bernie Sanders of these forums. The top podcast on this network has 93% of all t shirts while the bottom 13 have only 5%. How is that fair?

#feelthebern

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I'll get it started, but feel free to let it flow naturally.

 

Did you hear about the [9/11]?

jet beams melt steel memes

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Very interesting, Ronnie. Now, would you say that 9/11 is a good meme? I my opinion, 9/11 is overdone as a meme, and I'd be glad to just forget it altogether.

 

Never forget? More like, they're never gonna let me forget, with this stupid 9/11 meme.

 

BUUUUUT what if 9/11 was to happen, but with babies, like in the show? Baby 9/11? Now that I like!

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You know, Ken Griffey, Jr... Yes, we already established that he's a major league baseball player... But the thing about him that I would care about. Yes. What is it? Fuck. No, I don't care that he was on The Simpsons... Goddammit!

 

Edit: Don't think I won't figure this out eventually. I will. Never doubt Chanman O'Hoole Kinley. Or me. Never.

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pjrVtGUh.jpg?1

 

#realamericanhero status.

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Aww what's wrong, boo? Your pork belly curry at lunch wasn't locally sourced and nut finished?

 

lol he said "nut finished."

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Quadruple Post!

 

Suck it, nerds!

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Chanson, I don't think I can solve your puzzle but I do think Edgar Martínez research may be your best next course of action that will lead to the answer.

 

2247 hits and a .312 average over an 18 season career in the majors. That's gotta be something!

 

Geez, I'd love to keep sleuthing this one out with you but my pager is beeping. I think it's Gary Payton. Good luck with the mystery, ChanMan!

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I hope this boobtionary doesn't infringe upon the dicktionary I'm planning on starting.

It's a dictionary about Dick Wolfe.

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pretty underwhelming response so far guys. I have to say I'm disappointed, but not surprised. This forum is a microcosm of everything that's wrong with democracy. A bunch of apathetic white people in their 20s sitting around and complaining, but when it comes time to get out and vote or do anything that requires any sort of effort, they just sit around in some hip coffee shop drinking single origin coffee or nitro iced coffee or whatever and work on their blogs and practicing hashtags.

 

Meanwhile, you've got these fat cats sitting up there on the top floor of the Earwolf offices churning out a new t-shirt pretty much any time someone misspeaks and accidentally makes a funny joke.

 

They're taking advantage of you. If you look at the number of posts and active posters in the forums for the most popular (and profitable) podcasts on the network, you'll notice a major discrepancy between the billionaire CBB class and the working class Hollywood Handbook forum members. We're out there doing all the work. Posting too much. Creating threads for one episode that contain more posts than some shows entire sub-forum combined, discussing the actual show that we're fans of for usually the first 2 pages and then branching out into completely unrelated topics for 20+ more, writing songs, doing videos, writing fan fiction, drawing pictures, posting pictures of our pets, our Ds, what we had for dinner. What do we get in return for our hard work and dedication? A great podcast, sure, but where's the merch? Where are our T-shirts, mugs, keychains, hoodies, socks? Where is our hot sauce?

 

I'll tell you where. It's inside of each and every one of you. All you have to do is stand up and make your voice heard. So get over to that forum and put your name on there and show your support. Let's show these big-wigs what a real movement looks like.

 

update: EEEEE YAHHHH!

 

paid for by the Foundation for Forum Freedom and approved by SteveH, candidate for Secretary of Forum Affairs

 

http://forum.earwolf...dbook-t-shirts/

 

Scott Anchorman

One of the Main Guys at EARWOLF

EARWOLF Podcast Network

Los Angeles, CA

 

Dear Mr. Anchorman,

 

Can we get some fucking T-shirts man?

 

Sincerely,

SteveH

 

Please find enclosed thousands of signatures from dedicated handbook heads who need t-shirts

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  • What do you usually eat for breakfast?

 

Today I didnt eat breakfast and I'm p hungry. How about y'all.

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Accidently double posted, and since I dont know how to delete I'll edit this and answer another question.

 

  • What do you think about this crazy weather we're having?

Pretty Crazy.

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Today I didnt eat breakfast and I'm p hungry. How about y'all.

 

I ate fried eggs on sliced toast covered in pre-made guacamole, then drizzled with Tapatio. P good. It would be 100% better if the guacamole was good stuff instead of premade Dole guac.

 

I just thought of a joke for when I'm old.

 

"When I was younger, I used to eat intercontinental breakfasts. Now every breakfast is an incontinent breakfast, because I can't control my body functions."

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Other

  • What was the last thing that you took a picture of?

 

wedding_zpsszco45ew.jpeg

 

wedding party in limo last week

 

trippy filter x7

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  • Why did your parents give you the name ______?

 

 

Sam Houston was an old family friend back in the day when he lived in Tennessee. He eventually moved to Texas, remembered the Alamo, and became the first president of Texas because Texas wanted to be a slave owning state, but northern states did not want another slave owning state to enter the Union until it could be balanced with a slave free state. Thus Texas was an independent country for 9 years, because they wanted to own slaves. Texans are understandably proud that they were an independent country, that last part usually goes unmentioned.

 

So legend has it that Sam Houston came back to TN and offered various ancestors of mine large tracts of land in Texas. A few went out, but left soon afterward arriving. They, allegedly said, 'Sam, you could give me the whole damn state and I still wouldn't take it over my farm in TN.' Nevertheless his name as been in our family for generations.

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