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SeanBeaumont

WISHES FOR JASON MANTZOUKAS AND SCOTT AUKERMAN

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I would like drink Pimm's cups and make paper mache volcano with Scott and Jason.

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I would like Jason to go grocery shopping with Scott while Scott wears a t-shirt with Adam Scott's face on it.

 

I'll double the money if they can plan it so that they run into Adam Scott while he's just trying to get groceries.

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Scott to come to my office, shout "EAT SHIT JANET" at one of my coworkers.
I change mine to this too.
pretty sure mine is still the best, guys. I mean, I'm biased. But I'm not a friggin' journalist so get off my back.

 

I dunno, man... Yours is good, but the best?

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I would like to go to a petting zoo with Jason Mantzoukas while Scott has to stand in an empty room behind a glass window and cry and watch us while we feed the baby goats.

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Ok. Ok ok ok here's my wish:

 

Jason Hey Nong Mantzoukis and Scott Aukerman get themselves on an episode of Jimmy Fallon. They take a 1 hour vow of silence just before going on for the taping.

 

Afterwards they complete and send a thank card to Mr. Fallon, but right after taking a 1 hour vow of no writing on thank you cards.

 

I can create more addendums (addenda) to clarify the boundaries of my wish when needed.

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I want Jason Mantzoukas to host a book club podcast where he discusses all the YA books he's been reading (and maybe I get to be a guest on it one time)

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Scott and Jason swap hosting duties for at least one ep of their podcasts. If the league is still even on, Scott plays Rafi in one episode, Jason hosts one ep of CBB TV show

 

I feel like if they swap hosting duties for at least one episode of their podcasts they should do it completely in each other's characters. Until someone says hey Nong man of course

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I wish for Jason and Squat to live in a magic lamp for the rest of their lives, constantly lip syncing Genie in a Bottle, in full garb, granting more and more wishes, forever, to an audience of bored cats.

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I want Jason Mantzoukas to host a book club podcast where he discusses all the YA books he's been reading (and maybe I get to be a guest on it one time)

 

Don't forget the Chardonnay.

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My wish would be for them to produce a sex tape with Donald Trump, possibly being titled 'Thump the Rump: One Hot Hour with Donald Trump

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I wish for Scott and Jason to help me move. Don't worry - everything will be packed.

 

The pizza and beer only comes out after the work is done. I'm not repeating THAT mistake again....

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My wish would be for them to produce a sex tape with Donald Trump, possibly being titled 'Thump the Rump: One Hot Hour with Donald Trump

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My wish for $100 is for Jason and Scott to fly to Juneau, Alaska and do a live CBB from our convention hall. This will also mean you'd have to fly up Andy Daly and PFT as additional guests or else Jason and Scott will spend the entire time talking about what great charity ideas they have and have to explain all the rules. Our convention hall can seat several thousand and there is a big CBB/comedy in general crowd up here, so that will cover the trip or else its just be a write off for you guys. But I'm tired of having to keep flying down to Seattle and Portland to see you guys.

 

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Since Scott is the head writer for the emmy's, I would like for him to arrange to have Jason be one of those girls that hand the people the awards and show them how to get off the stage. There would be 3 of the usual type pretty girls in fancy dress, and then Jason (also in a dress). It would never be mentioned by anyone during the show.

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The opportunity to join Scott and 'Zoukas in leading the singing of Take Me Out to the Nong Man during the 7th inning stretch at a Major League baseball stadium. It's exactly the same as Take Me Out to the Ballgame in every way except replacing ballgame with Nong Man.

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I would like Scott to give me his personal phone number and trust that I would keep it to myself and not text him incessantly. I am not a psycho and would not cause Scott the inconvenience of making him get a new phone number. All I would do is say "good ep" or "great ep" whenever I enjoy his content. Perhaps a question or two every once in a while if there's a reference I don't understand.

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My wish is a summer theater season at Largo: one weekend each for a drama-type musical (like Evita so Scott can reprise his role of Magaldi), one olde-tymey musical (I would have to insist it be The Music Man, so Scott and PFT could rotate the role of Harold Hill and Jason could play the bitter anvil salesman who tries to ruin him), and a caberet-style show.

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Both: I would love to check out, like, San Diego Comic Con with 'em.

 

I've never been; I would totally buy the tix for everyone though in addition to "Wish Money" to even put this out. But they also have to dress up as characters. Possibly DeadPool since they both(?), or at least Scott, has written for Dead Pool before. That would be great to go to the Con, and 1000x better to go with Zooks & Scottie. Didn't PFT and Scott go to SDCC this year anyway, to that one location nearby where, like, Nerdist was doing a free event and a couple podcasts did stuff there? I'm sure they'd be down for this, or at least, I hope. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

I think that would be a blast. Only Con I've ever been to has been PAX East, and only with my stupid non-podcast-hosting friends. My friends are certainly not as cool as Zooks and Scott.

 

Alternative: Visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios and LOOK for some magic there. That has to be, like, the most likely place to find some, right? Really wanna do something fucking magical now that Scott seemingly doesn't even want to try anything magic-related :D

 

Just Jason: I would love to just sit in on an episode of Comedy Bang Bang hosted by Zooks. With Kulap as the guest-host. Just as, like, a pilot for when Scott hands over the show :)

 

Just Scott: I wanna get some fuckin' U2 shirts from Bono! Or, at least, a lot of U2 shirts from the lead singer of a U2 Cover Band who we will refer to as Bono. I would not want to arrange much here; I would want to go on some kind of adventure where we crash some event that has already booked said U2 cover band. Preferably with some college girls along for our little adventure too :)

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A CB!B! live from my house with the same cast (Scott, Jason, Andy and Paul F... although Lauren Lapkus is also welcome to join).

 

EDIT: Would also like to do a GAME OF THRONES podcast with Jason, Paul F., Paul Scheer and June Diane Raphael (if she watches).

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