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JulyDiaz

EPISODE 116 — Top Dog: LIVE!

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I've always heard it as because they swam across the Rio Grande.

 

Source: I'm a Texan and have a lot of racist relatives.

 

Yep, that's been my interpretation as well. Either way, when I heard that line my reaction was "The fuck was that?! That really came out of left field!"

 

Also ties into the debate about whether or not it's a kids film. That was the first real moment that made me say "WAIT...is this supposed to be for kids?!"

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First of all, this whole movie is a gigantic 'What the fuck'!

 

 

Are we to believe that this dog is a cop? Like not a police dog but an actual police officer. He seems to not be trained in anyway whatsoever. Its not like Chucks character - And by the way I have no idea what his characters name was. Prdobably something stupid like 'Top'. Oh my god imagine his name was 'Top' and the fucking movie was called 'Top/Dog'. That would be even stupider then this movie actually is. But its not like Chucks character, Top, was trained and took classes in how to handle a police dog. When he went to that one call and had to get the dog to find whatever the fuck he was looking for he didnt even know what to do. The other cops were laughing at him. But thats because this dog isnt a police dog its a police officer. But i guess i have no point. Except this movie is fucking dumb. I admit when i was a kid i liked some stupid shit. I saw the movie 'Sidekicks' and it was the greatest day of my life. There was even a time when I was super into hulk hogan. Looking back - what the fuck is there to like. He was just like a stupid fucking middle aged man who hid his baldness and ripped his shirt off. And his fucking shirt was pre cut any ways - who the fuck couldnt do that. But here i was a prepubescent kid - who couldnt get enough of hulk hogan for some reason. Saw all that shit. Suburban Commando was my Citizen Cane. Hulk Hogan squeezing a fruit so hard that it exploded on some old lady was my 'Rose Bud'. But even though I liked the dumbest of the dumb I had never seen this movie 'Top Dog'. After twenty minutes of watching i was ready to call it off and just scan through it but when i skipped to the end and saw there was a plan to assasinate church officials i went back and started at the bieginning. And boy am I glad i did. This movie has everything i love: Messy heroes, boys on bikes, clowns and white supremely!

 

Lets tackle the messy thing first. So the movie is about this cop who I can only presume is named Top. And he is so fucking messy. His house is straight up gross. Like he doesnt even give a shit about nothing. Oh my god there is this one scene where the station is calling him on his phone and his apartment is so messy that you cant see where the phone is and he just grabs the cord and pulls it til he finds the phone. Classic Top. Also there is another scene where he feeds the dog some canned dog food and instead of just like scooping the food into the bowl like a reasonable person - get this - he holds the can at chest high and lets the food drop into the bowl splashing everywhere. What a hoot. I wish i could make messes like that. But mom would be son angry. Imagine if i fed Princess Leia like that. Mom would be spanking me. If the dog food splashed on her collection of David Caruso head shots my hide would be tanned something fierce. Imagine the look on her face though.

 

 

Next lets get to my next fave thing. Boys riding bicycles. Love that shit.

 

And then we have Clowns. I love killer clown stuff. Remember the scene where the clowns come? And they shoot up Tops house and that one clown does a flip and then starts shooting his machines gun? Thats was so fudging nuts. I remeber when i was a kid and everone would always be like 'dont go out at night or clowns will get you'. I remeber just always being afraid that a clown in a van would abduct me. I was even to scared to go to the bathroom at night. Sometimes i would have to pee so bad. But i would just hold it til mommy would come and wake me up. No clowns for me. I think I'll pass, thanks! Thats about when the blood starting showing up in all my body licks. Thats short for body liquids - or that what my uncle calls it!

 

Also - I love the white supremecy shit. i'M ALL OVER THAT!

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I have neither seen this movie nor listened to this episode, so I feel completely qualified to give these corrections and omissions:

 

You guys did not pick up on the obvious and repeated clues that the dog was actually a hybrid Hitler clone, meant to keep his genes alive, unnoticed, until he is ready to be brought back by his loyalists.

 

Paul mentioned that after this movie was released, Chuck Norris was never seen or heard from again. This is not true. He was spotted in Belize last year giving self defense lessons under the name "The Neck Whisperer."

 

Zouks noticed, quite perceptively, that the female love interest was actually not human, but an android. What he failed to realize, however, was that this android was in fact the creation from Fritz Lang's 1927 film Metropolis, making this a sequel, and the completion of a very drawn out social commentary on the Nazis.

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I definitely get it, it left a lot of people sour. I just took it as "They took his car, whatever. But when they took his connection to his recently deceased wife, that put him over the edge."

 

But yes either way...not pleasant.

Yeah, I should point out that I loved everything else except that part. It's a great movie.

 

Also, I got to meet Keanu when he was at Fantastic Fest last year for the screening of John Wick. He's basically Ted "Theodore" Logan in real life, and I love him so much for that. After he introduced the movie, he walked out to the lobby and thanked all of the volunteers who help put on the festival (he goes pretty much every year). Just really the nicest guy in the world.

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Yeah, I should point out that I loved everything else except that part. It's a great movie.

 

Also, I got to meet Keanu when he was at Fantastic Fest last year for the screening of John Wick. He's basically Ted "Theodore" Logan in real life, and I love him so much for that. After he introduced the movie, he walked out to the lobby and thanked all of the volunteers who help put on the festival (he goes pretty much every year). Just really the nicest guy in the world.

 

Yeah I've heard he's a great, great guy. There's a really cool podcast called "I Was There Too" with Matt Gourley, he interviews bit players from famous movies about their experience. He interviewed the passengers and bus driver from Speed, and they all said he was the nicest, most approachable person they'd ever worked with.

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Refreshing my feed to see there wasn't a mini episode today had me like...

 

sad-jack-white.jpg

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Yeah I've heard he's a great, great guy. There's a really cool podcast called "I Was There Too" with Matt Gourley, he interviews bit players from famous movies about their experience. He interviewed the passengers and bus driver from Speed, and they all said he was the nicest, most approachable person they'd ever worked with.

I keep forgetting to check that show out. My dad worked on "Speed" as well, as he was sort of a liaison between the production people and the California highway something or other, maybe Department of Transportation, I don't know, and he said that everyone was super cool to do deal with. Apparently, they had a couple miles blocked off to do all the bus stuff, which was done first, and he still has some paperwork from before they cast Dennis Hopper, as Jeff Motherfucking Goldblum was originally slated to be the villain. He managed to take a couple of really good pictures of Keanu that he later signed for my sister. I was mildly disappointed that he didn't do the same for me with Sandra Bullock, who was just about to become a somebody with "Demolition Man". *sigh*

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Can somebody tell me what kind of music Jason said was playing throughout the movie?

It's called Zydeco. It's what you think of when someone says Cajun/Bayou music.

 

 

Yeah I've heard he's a great, great guy. There's a really cool podcast called "I Was There Too" with Matt Gourley, he interviews bit players from famous movies about their experience. He interviewed the passengers and bus driver from Speed, and they all said he was the nicest, most approachable person they'd ever worked with.

I keep forgetting that exists. I'm adding it to my playlist right now to remember to listen on the way home.

 

But yeah, he's totally approachable. He went outside to smoke a cigarette, and someone asked to take a picture with him. He of course said yes, and while they were posing for the picture, the lady was like, "I feel like I should know who you are, but I can't put my finger on it. I just wanted a picture for 10 minutes from now when I figure it out." He was totally sweet about it and when her friend was like, "THAT'S JOHNNY UTAH!" she started losing her shit.

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ahh this EP really took me back to my bootlegging days

 

XvX4V1q.gif

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I can't help but notice how similar Chuck and Reno look, espically in facial hair. Do you think that this was a consience decision? If so, who was cast first? Did they have Chuck, and say, ok let's get a trained dog that has similar hair. Or, did they have to use this specific dog, and were like, which action hero most resembles this dog?

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ahh this EP really took me back to my bootlegging days

 

XvX4V1q.gif

 

I'm going to put all my favorite HDTGM episodes on some cassette tapes and sell them at all the punk rock podcasting shows.

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I'm going to put all my favorite HDTGM episodes on some cassette tapes and sell them at all the punk rock podcasting shows.

 

 

VHS is getting real hot right now #TBT #catchmeifyoucan

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PAUL_zpskckshpxz.jpg

 

I really hope that people that see this listened to this episode... #outofcontextquotes

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Something I thought of while listening to the episode but forgot until just now. I really actually liked Paul's interruptions into the show. It was almost like preemptive Corrections and Omissions. I know it was only because of the audio problems, but I thought it added a lot to the show. Or maybe that's just because I would hear Paul's studio voice and just be glad it wasn't another Bonobos ad.

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ALSO TOTALLY OFF-TOPIC BUT THEY'RE DOING A FREE SCREENING OF CRASH TEST FOLLOWED BY A SKYPE Q&A WITH PAUL AND ROB AT THE ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE RIGHT BY MY HOUSE MONDAY NIGHT! I AM SO INCREDIBLY EXCITED!

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Unrelated but I just watched "Joe"... wtf. What a depressing sad look at a poor community with all the trimmings to make you want to wash your hands and face after seeing it. I couldn't help laugh at certain scenes when Nic Cage is driving a truck, asking for hot sauce, or getting a painful Bj in a whorehouse while his dog kills another dog in the kitchen. They movie is great and makes me thankful that I don't live with a smoker. There is a lot of cigarettes in the movie, I usually like smoking in movies but this hits too close to home.

 

PS. Check out this cool article I found about Nic Cages stolen Action Comics #1. Wtf. He also named his kid after superman's kryptonian birth name.

 

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/nicolas-cages-stolen-comic-book-found-11-years/story?id=13356779

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Something I thought of while listening to the episode but forgot until just now. I really actually liked Paul's interruptions into the show. It was almost like preemptive Corrections and Omissions. I know it was only because of the audio problems, but I thought it added a lot to the show. Or maybe that's just because I would hear Paul's studio voice and just be glad it wasn't another Bonobos ad.

 

It was like POP UP VIDEO for podcasts!

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What kind of bullshit police dog doesn't warn his partner (multiple times!) about the armed bad guys right behind him? Reno is playing some serious Black Widow (Debra Winger, not ScarJo) games with Chuck Norris and way-too-old-to-be-playing-a-homicide-cop at the beginning.

Also, the shot of the bad guys throwing the old cop and then Reno (playing dead) overboard at the beginning gave me serious Mr. Nanny flashbacks.

Never forget

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I was very disappointed that the trailer didn't say, "One's tough. One's ruff."

 

A real missed opportunity there.

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I've got a theory about the "wetback" joke. I think you guys may be approaching it too literally. The joke isn't about how Mexicans are easier to kill than other nationalities. Rather, it's about how Mexicans have so little value that the only worthwhile thing about them is that they can be killed, and the "joke" is that mortality isn't unique to Mexicans. A clearer wording might have been: "What's the only good thing about wetbacks? They're mortal and you can kill them with bullets."

 

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Right! It may be easier to understand if you imagine the racist being played by Norm MacDonald. It's a post-ironic anti-joke. "It's like I always say, wetbacks are as easy to kill as David Hasselhoff."

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