EPISODE 101 — The Grease Knows Eggs Show with Jesse Thorn

[Shrek & Donkey Kong 4336]

"worst joke ever posted in the history of online forums"

i wasn't that specific, regarding the joke being on a forum. i just said it was the worst joke of all time.

[Andrew 4646]

 

just so you know, Hayes reads everything on the forum

 

Jesus, poor guy.

[honlads 8798]

I know it's over by now, but I'd just like to extend the right hand of Christian fellowship to Allan McLeod and give him a hearty "What's up?" from myself, honlads.

[robotam 4493]

 

Jesus, poor guy.

 

I love this game.

 

Bill Gates, rich guy.

[zoankkambie 887]

 

I love this game.

 

Bill Gates, rich guy.

Fonzie, cool guy.

[RocHoover 400]

Fonzie, cool guy.

 

Tim Taylor, Tool Guy

[chicknsandwich 2495]

Tim Taylor, Tool Guy

 

Snatch, Guy Ritchie

[RocHoover 400]

Coach Morris Buttermaker, Pool Guy

[chicknsandwich 2495]

Schwebel's, Bread Rye

[RocHoover 400]

(Hangin' With) Mr. Cooper, School Guy

[Silvrwoman 4998]

 

i wasn't that specific, regarding the joke being on a forum. i just said it was the worst joke of all time.

If you think that was the worst joke of all time, you definitely haven't read my emails to myself regarding ideas for a reality TV show parady, Murdering It with The Manson Family, staring Charles Manson, Episode 307, "Charlie and the Jelly Belly Factory"

[SteveH 11126]

Jim Morrison, door guy.

[souprman 10477]

Sauron - Rule guy.

[kittens 1288]

friends

in the united kingdom it has just come out that our prime minister put his willy in a dead pig's mouth while at university

i really couldn't be happier to hear this news and just had to share

hope you all enjoy this news as much as i did

 

love,

kittens

[mikebonetti 3718]

As you surely noticed, I have been gone all weekend. How are you guys doing? Did you tell Allan about me?

[SteveH 11126]

friends

in the united kingdom it has just come out that our prime minister put his willy in a dead pig's mouth while at university

i really couldn't be happier to hear this news and just had to share

hope you all enjoy this news as much as i did

 

love,

kittens

 

I think you're thinking of that show Black Mirror

 

Update: why are there soooo many file photos of David Cameron with pigs? He should have seen this coming.

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

Oh, cool, we're doing another one of these extended wordplay bits.

 

Ty Murray, Jewel Guy?

James Adomian, Huell guy?

Tyler Durden, (spoiler alert) dual guy?

 

Did I do a good job? Do you respect me? Or do you fear disappointing me? Do you fucking fear me? I'll show you all fear. I will be the end of you. All of you...

[Joe Lerini 7329]

I will be the end of you. All of you...

JeffreyParties, cruel guy.

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

JeffreyParties, cruel guy.

This was planned 3 months ago.

[Silvrwoman 4998]

As you surely noticed, I have been gone all weekend. How are you guys doing? Did you tell Allan about me?

Not only did I notice, but I also called your mom cause I was so worried. Unfortunately, I didn't know that you lied to her and said you were staying on my couch, when really you were smoking dope with Norm, so I told her I hadn't seen you. She became very upset, saying, "I don't know if I'd ever be able to forgive mikebonetti for this horrendous lie. I've already spent many years trying to forgive mike for telling me that he had brushed his teeth on April 7, 1992, when I know and ALWAYS knew that he hadn't, because the toothbrush was bone dry! As dry as a mother's vagina after realizing that the child she loved and raised lied to her!"*

 

"Oh please hold on a sec Mrs. mikebonetti's Mom," I said as I tried to save the situation by pretending like I ran into you in the hall way so that your mom could overhear my side of the non-existent conversation:

 

"mikebonetti! I didn't know you were here!"

 

"Under the couch because you didn't want to wake me? That's kinda strange, but very considerate. You're mother must have did an extraordinary job raising you."

 

"Good to see you too! I didn't think you'd be here cause I thought you were hanging out with Norm"

 

"You're right, that was a good decision. Norm seems nice and everything, but I wouldn't associate with marajuana users either. You never know what he'd peer pressure you into - he might even insist that you help him light his marajuana ciggerette for him."

 

"Oh, you have to give CPR to that baby over there to save his life, so you can't talk anymore, and probably won't be able to use a phone for a while even to call your mom because your mouth will be unavailable due to you saving that child's life? OK cool. See you later"

 

*I preemptively apologize for mentioning your mother's youknowwhat. Thank you for your understanding

[chanson 9697]

Did I post recently? I can't remember. Well, in case I didn't, here's a post.

 

 

Content content content, content content, content content content. Content!!! Content, content content content. Content content content! Lol! Content.

[RocHoover 400]

Allan,

 

Mike DogBonetti

[mikebonetti 3718]

Thanks Silvrwoman, you really saved me. Otherwise, I would've been grounded in the doghouse for weeks!

 

 

 

This post has been edited to reflect a more topical response

[RocHoover 400]

Mike Bonetti. On the ball!

[RyanMorrison 17]

It was WELL worth my eleven dollars to get the ad space for this show. Don't forget to trademark your game name, Sean.