EPISODE 102 — Joe Wengert Again, Our Close Friend

[mikebonetti 3718]

Welcome MC_khaleezy, Valerie's post is pretty much all you need to know about the forums.

[Joe Lerini 7329]

#notallmen

What do you have against tall men?

[Joe Lerini 7329]

Also, I was on Hooray Show once. Probably best ep of all time.

[Dads for Butt Stuff 753]

Her brother let his stare linger a little longer than usual as she bathed herself in the tub next to the toilet where he was sitting. She didn't mind, they'd always openly admired one another's bodies like all brothers and sisters do, but this time she wondered if the lust she saw in his eyes was real or just wishful thinking. It had been 8 months since she walked in on her brother masturbating and it had been 8 months since that became all she could think about. His delicate grip, his moderate pace. Slow and steady wins the race. His eyes were closed and she wondered what was making him stiff. Was he thinking of his first love? A cute girl he saw today? Or was he thinking of something else? Something forbidden. His sister. She watched him as he ejaculated and he made a little moan. She saw he was embarrassed even though, as far as he knew, he was alone. She supposed he was thinking of something shameful after all. She slipped out into the hallway without her brother noticing, but she was unsure if that was what she wanted. What would've happened if she'd been caught? What might he have done to her?

 

Since that day she's been doing everything she can think of to see her brother pleasuring himself again. She's hidden in his closet, only to see him fall asleep while watching Family Guy on Netflix. She tried to talk him into sharing a room and having bunk beds again, but he firmly said no. She once chaperoned him on a date, but found herself overcome with jealousy as he received pleasure from his date's hand rather than his own. That was the most painful twenty-five minutes of her life. That should be me, she thought. That will be me.

 

Today, taking a bath in front of her brother while he goes to the bathroom, she decides to be bold. She places her hands first on her breasts, then moves them down to her stomach, and further still until she reaches her mound. She plunges herself deep inside her crevasse, her tailbone moving back and forth along the porcelain tub as she explores. She moans softly, just as her brother had done when he touched himself, only she isn't embarrassed. She is rebelling against a societal taboo and she refuses to feel anything but pleasure. This is it. He has seen her desire and now he has to make a choice. Her brother finishes up and wipes himself. She finishes up too and rinses out her gully hole with bathwater. "Gully hole" is something Stewie called a vagina on an episode of Family Guy her brother watched one night when she was hiding in his closet. Her brother closed the bathroom door as he left and she knew things would never be the same. For she knew that though that door had been closed, another had been opened.

 

 

Congratulations to Sean and Grace. May your marriage be filled with love, laughter, and a third thing.

 

This reminds me of the speech my aunt gave at my parents' wedding

[AshleyChupp 3958]

What do you have against tall men?

 

That's a very good question. Tall men have their place in this world. Like picking bananas off of banana trees or getting the most flattering view of my cleavage. However, they are difficult both to kiss and and to kick in the balls.

 

ALSO, you're from Pittsburgh, too? I wonder if we've ever crossed paths...

[DoctorFrog 649]

 

Can you spot the differences??

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

HELLO!

 

I have no idea if this is an appropriate place to post this, but I am a new person.

 

I have been putting off joining the forums and posting here because you all are very intimidating and it's spooky! But Nohorseman, Chicknsandwich and Greggy all told me you guys would be cool and that I should go for it, so here I am, trembling in anticipation.

 

Yung Chickn also told me that if I let you guys know I am a female-type human being, it will make you like me more. Seems pretty sexist to me, but I'll withhold judgment for now. #notallmen

 

I hope we shall all be lovely friends.

 

Nope, I already represent Western Pennsylvania here. Please see yourself out.

[AshleyChupp 3958]

Nope, I already represent Western Pennsylvania here. Please see yourself out.

 

WHOA another yinzer?? Amazing. I wonder how many of you all I have drunkenly hooked up with.

[Joe Lerini 7329]

 

That's a very good question. Tall men have their place in this world. Like picking bananas off of banana trees or getting the most flattering view of my cleavage. However, they are difficult both to kiss and and to kick in the balls.

 

ALSO, you're from Pittsburgh, too? I wonder if we've ever crossed paths...

I'm a habitual path-crosser.

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

You probably porked The Narnold.

[DoctorFrog 649]

You probably porked The Narnold.

 

Does anyone know why that fiend was banned?

[Hayes N Sean 258]

HELLO!

 

I have no idea if this is an appropriate place to post this, but I am a new person.

 

I have been putting off joining the forums and posting here because you all are very intimidating and it's spooky! But Nohorseman, Chicknsandwich and Greggy all told me you guys would be cool and that I should go for it, so here I am, trembling in anticipation.

 

Yung Chickn also told me that if I let you guys know I am a female-type human being, it will make you like me more. Seems pretty sexist to me, but I'll withhold judgment for now. #notallmen

 

I hope we shall all be lovely friends.

 

 

Don't worry, just stick with me on this forum and you'll be alright. I'm sort of a hero here.

[AshleyChupp 3958]

 

 

Don't worry, just stick with me on this forum and you'll be alright. I'm sort of a hero here.

 

Okay, new Best Friend! I am very trusting, and I never fact-check.

[souprman 10477]

I wonder what the forums are up to? I'll check in after a bit. I meant to post that great joke I thought of about Jeffrey Parties and his love of rooms. Or was that last thread?

 

No, I said I wouldn't post anymore today. Even though greggy gave me the like I was fishing for on the wrong post it was still funny. Plus I've got so much work to do. People probably know I'm making fun of myself for being annoying and leaving too many stupid posts right? They don't really think I mean to stop posting do they?

 

This wouldn't be the first time I said something that came to be misconstrued. Always sticking my foot in my mouth. If only they knew how I really felt. If I could somehow communicate with the other forum members I would probably say something like;

 

I really appreciate all of you, you're good people, and I'm a filthy liar.

 

Yeah that would probably be very well received. No way to misinterpret that sentiment.

 

Just gonna open a new wiwindiwowh ehere?.?/

[souprman 10477]

dammit

[chicknsandwich 2495]

My mom just asked me if I'm a Hayes or a Sean. Apparently she is a Handbook-head now.

[souprman 10477]

and a third thing.

great dick joke Veebs. confusing, but great.

[Silvrwoman 4998]

HELLO!

 

I have no idea if this is an appropriate place to post this, but I am a new person.

 

I have been putting off joining the forums and posting here because you all are very intimidating and it's spooky! But Nohorseman, Chicknsandwich and Greggy all told me you guys would be cool and that I should go for it, so here I am, trembling in anticipation.

 

Yung Chickn also told me that if I let you guys know I am a female-type human being, it will make you like me more. Seems pretty sexist to me, but I'll withhold judgment for now. #notallmen

 

I hope we shall all be lovely friends.

Welcome!

[Hayes N Sean 258]

Okay, new Best Friend! I am very trusting, and I never fact-check.

 

Good, that was going to be my first lesson to fitting in on these forums. Fact checking leads to knowing too much, and nobody likes a know-it-all.

[Just Add Pepper 2026]

Her brother let his stare linger a little longer than usual as she bathed herself in the tub next to the toilet where he was sitting. She didn't mind, they'd always openly admired one another's bodies like all brothers and sisters do, but this time she wondered if the lust she saw in his eyes was real or just wishful thinking. It had been 8 months since she walked in on her brother masturbating and it had been 8 months since that became all she could think about. His delicate grip, his moderate pace. Slow and steady wins the race. His eyes were closed and she wondered what was making him stiff. Was he thinking of his first love? A cute girl he saw today? Or was he thinking of something else? Something forbidden. His sister. She watched him as he ejaculated and he made a little moan. She saw he was embarrassed even though, as far as he knew, he was alone. She supposed he was thinking of something shameful after all. She slipped out into the hallway without her brother noticing, but she was unsure if that was what she wanted. What would've happened if she'd been caught? What might he have done to her?

 

Since that day she's been doing everything she can think of to see her brother pleasuring himself again. She's hidden in his closet, only to see him fall asleep while watching Family Guy on Netflix. She tried to talk him into sharing a room and having bunk beds again, but he firmly said no. She once chaperoned him on a date, but found herself overcome with jealousy as he received pleasure from his date's hand rather than his own. That was the most painful twenty-five minutes of her life. That should be me, she thought. That will be me.

 

Today, taking a bath in front of her brother while he goes to the bathroom, she decides to be bold. She places her hands first on her breasts, then moves them down to her stomach, and further still until she reaches her mound. She plunges herself deep inside her crevasse, her tailbone moving back and forth along the porcelain tub as she explores. She moans softly, just as her brother had done when he touched himself, only she isn't embarrassed. She is rebelling against a societal taboo and she refuses to feel anything but pleasure. This is it. He has seen her desire and now he has to make a choice. Her brother finishes up and wipes himself. She finishes up too and rinses out her gully hole with bathwater. "Gully hole" is something Stewie called a vagina on an episode of Family Guy her brother watched one night when she was hiding in his closet. Her brother closed the bathroom door as he left and she knew things would never be the same. For she knew that though that door had been closed, another had been opened.

 

 

Congratulations to Sean and Grace. May your marriage be filled with love, laughter, and a third thing.

 

Could you please edit this and add the word "step" every time you say "brother" or "sister"?

 

I mean I can do it myself in my head and it sort of makes it easier to j.o. to but when I'm in the moment and the guy is like "you feel so good, sis" I just have this sudden moment of oh god I'm a terrible person and the light is high and my screen is dim and I catch my own reflection in the screen among the expanse of flesh shining with nuru jelly and I see with shocking clarity my own face, my dead animalistic eyes pupils narrowed in the hunt for pleasure and thinking of nothing and no one else and I realize that all I am is a beast put on this world to eat and fuck as much as possible and here I am drinking coke zeroes and mating with a wad of napkins as I read about celebrity nip slips and the brother and sister are now fucking on top of of a pile of old family photo albums and she rolls over and a single polaroid is stuck to her back and it's the two of them at the beach together ages 7 and 9 and the sandcastle that they "built" but really their dad built while they played in the water and used that new skimboard for all of 2 minutes before deciding it was too hard and they kept falling. Step I say to myself, a mantra to the gods of onanism, step step step they are step-brother and step sister step step I am not a pervert step step I am a good person step step...

 

Many years of marital bliss to Sean and Grace!

[Houston 4819]

 

Could you please edit this and add the word "step" every time you say "brother" or "sister"?

 

I mean I can do it myself in my head and it sort of makes it easier to j.o. to but when I'm in the moment and the guy is like "you feel so good, sis" I just have this sudden moment of oh god I'm a terrible person and the light is high and my screen is dim and I catch my own reflection in the screen among the expanse of flesh shining with nuru jelly and I see with shocking clarity my own face, my dead animalistic eyes pupils narrowed in the hunt for pleasure and thinking of nothing and no one else and I realize that all I am is a beast put on this world to eat and fuck as much as possible and here I am drinking coke zeroes and mating with a wad of napkins as I read about celebrity nip slips and the brother and sister are now fucking on top of of a pile of old family photo albums and she rolls over and a single polaroid is stuck to her back and it's the two of them at the beach together ages 7 and 9 and the sandcastle that they "built" but really their dad built while they played in the water and used that new skimboard for all of 2 minutes before deciding it was too hard and they kept falling. Step I say to myself, a mantra to the gods of onanism, step step step they are step-brother and step sister step step I am not a pervert step step I am a good person step step...

 

Many years of marital bliss to Sean and Grace!

 

Casey. You seem like good dude and I think your heart is in the right place, but it's 2015, almost 2016, and I think you need to not project your hangups on other folks. Love is a crazy thing and they heart wants what the heart wants, labels be damned.

 

To Sean and Grace, my your life and your love exist without puritanical limits.

[RanRan 3242]

Discussion of Hayes's Who Charted appearance on this week's (stellar) PAW reminded me that on that show, he said he likes thee Oh Sees, who, what a coincidence, I'm playing with in a few hours. Hayes, if you want my guest list spot, it's yours. Just PM me in the next two hours so I can tell my friend Josie she got bumped for a celeb.

[Shrek & Donkey Kong 4336]

Discussion of Hayes's Who Charted appearance on this week's (stellar) PAW reminded me that on that show, he said he likes thee Oh Sees, who, what a coincidence, I'm playing with in a few hours. Hayes, if you want my guest list spot, it's yours. Just PM me in the next two hours so I can tell my friend Josie she got bumped for a celeb.

 

 

thee oh sees are great! i was at the same set as hayes (fyf fest)

[SteveH 11126]

This has been one of the strongest 4 hour stretches of forum posting in recent history.

[Game of Scones 5812]

steve literally killed it