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Joe McGurl

Survivor Season 31 - Second Chance discussion thread

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Do we think the producers went over to Joe and said, Ok, now when you oil up, make sure it's in a porno sexy way where your whole body kinda gyrates? Keith wouldn't oil up like this.

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‣ i say dietz goes this week

‣ oh and theres an injury, i think wentworth will be murdered by the vengeful spirit of koh rong, an ancient fisherman who was tormented by his tribesmen because he had a small penis. vowing to take his revenge for all eternity, he threw himself into the bonfire late one night and now roams the island, looking for babes to murder with the giant machete he carries (compensate much, buddy?). he attempts to strike again while people are voting at tribal council but jeff probst rips off his pooka shell necklace and throws it on the ground, banishing the spirit instantly. see, the necklace has actually been a powerful mystical amulet this whole time. jeff probst is a wizard.

‣ actually i saw so many spoilers i know im wrong already, but life is hard n then u die bro

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look at this monkey flippin the fuck out…the original party animal XD

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‣ i love survivor animal reaction shots, this is going to take all night

‣ oh boy straight into probst visiting the camp AND STRAIGHT TO DIETZ maybe im half right

‣ damn sucks for terry but HELL YES I GOT ONE, not how i expected it to go at all

‣ wow everyone loves their family more than survivor, tbh at this point idk if any of them deserve to win

‣ the people choosing to kiss those nasty old buffs are weird as hell

‣ woo no im sure him saying how much hes trusting savage is foreshadowing

‣ another double dare challenge

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‣ GOTTA GO FAST

‣ great pep talk jeremy, a true leader

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‣ i dont even want to play this dumb game….PSYCH

‣ i was going to get a gif of joe oiling up and the look tasha got after but giffing tool kept fucking up and im sure its the most heavily giffed moment of the season so far, so i guess you’ll have to look at the ten thousand other versions that must already exist

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‣ the gang reacts to wentworth missing her toss

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‣ fishback gets teared up at what appears to be nothing

‣ oh yeah that eating challenge

‣ man spencer throwing DOWN

‣ this is the challenge keith was born to win

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‣ come on kelly dont move the food around your mouth with your fingers, thats what your tongue is for, your going to bite yourself

‣ honestly i dont think anyone could have beat woo on that pig brain, that was nuts

‣ huh so the competition went to a tie, what a shocker

‣ jesus tasha is so hot im sorry i cant hold it in any longer

‣ lmao jeremy going in for a bite of that nasty egg was such an awesome move, love this dude

‣ ABI CIERA SPENCER KASS *chants names to self like game of thrones girl*

‣ all right i am now officially rooting FOR tasha and AGAINST abi, ciera, spencer, and kass…rip my sweet baby woo as savage would say your in a better place now

‣ good thing they switched tribes the episode before the merge wtf

‣ the update on terry’s son and the organ donation PSA was a very nice ending

‣ have to give this one a PROBS on the PROBST scale because of losing woo salthiness

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On the Untimely Death of Woo by the Abidook

A Halloween Tale by me, Marshall Mellow

 

When Woo was a small boy, his mother told him that if you write down your fears, you will banish them forever. So in school, when he didn't have any friends he wrote "LONELY" on a slip of paper, and the next day he met a new friend at school and he was lonely no more. Later, when all of Woo's friends started surfing, he was too afraid of sharks to try, so he wrote down "SHARKS" on a slip of paper and the next day he became brave and went into the ocean, all his fears banished and he became one of the best surfers and no shark ever came near him.

 

One day, a freak wave carried Woo away from his friends and he became stranded on an Island, hungry and tired. He encountered a group of other survivors, and together they built a camp and became friends. But one of the group, a girl called Abi, was very scary and Woo thought "she might kill me in my sleep one night". So he wrote her name down on a slip of paper, "ABI". But the next day he was still afraid of Abi and she had grown stronger and even scarier than before. After a few more days, he decided to try again and wrote her name down on another slip of paper. But that night she grew very angry and she told Woo "You are dead to me". After that night Woo was never seen again on the Island, he disappeared without a trace. All that was left behind was a slip of paper with one word written in Woo's shaky hand-writing. The last thing Woo was afraid of. The last word he wrote. That word was "DEATH".

 

RIP Woo

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This week I learned that parents love their kids. It was hard to understand, but Jeff kept asking contestants who are parents to explain it, so eventually I got it.

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  • RIP Dietz
  • Fishback is losing his mind
  • Keith is gonna harvest and eat waterbugs when he gets back to the states
  • Abi is crazy
  • Abi has nice butt
  • I like Abi

grape ep

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im going to go with spencer this week, probably wont happen but its tough to choose anyone this week with such an upset in store

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Here we go ... merge week !

 

Look who's left, holy shit:

 

Bayon are clearly in the majority with 9 left: Savage, Jeremy, Joe, Keith, Fishbach, Ciera, Kass, Kimmi, Tasha. (Bayon made it to the merge losing just one person - Monica. This means that the jury is likely to be stacked with Bayon-ers).

 

At the 3 tribes swap, they were split up with 1) Tasha and Savage together, 2) Kimmi, Jeremy and Fishbach together, 3) Joe, Keith, Ciera and Kass together.

 

In contrast there are only 4 Ta Keo original members left: Spencer, Abi, Wiglesworth, Wentworth. Doesn't look like these four are in any kind of alliance with each other at this point and they are each really on their own.

 

At the 3 tribes swap, Abi was on a tribe with Tasha and Savage. Not sure she made any friends there though. Her fate may lay with how long Tasha and the others need her vote. Wentworth was on a tribe with Joe, Ciera, Kass and Keith, this looks good for her. Wiglesworth and Spencer both were in Bayon with Jeremy, Fishbach and Kimmi. Not sure either is doing well or in an alliance at this point.

 

Last week we went back to two tribes again briefly. Wentworth got to stay with Bayon a little longer, good for her in the long run, whereas Kass, Ciera and Savage got stuck with 3 Ta Keo (Spencer, Abi and Wiglesworth).

 

But now we're merged so who cares. Let's get to predictions.

 

At the immunity challenge, my money is on a challenge-beast like Keith, Joe or Tasha. It would be interesting if Kelley or Kelly won though. I don't see Spencer or Abi winning this week.

 

So who's going home ? An outsider who's a threat, that's who ! I think Wiglesworth will do just well-enough in the immunity challenge to put a target on her back and get her voted out.

 

So that's my prediction ...... Kelly Wiglesworth.

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I hope it's not true, but I think Joe is gonna go this week. :(

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Oooooh baybay. I think kass will either take Spencer out this week or kimmi will drop something else in the fire and Keith will rally the entire island against her.

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Honestly, I think anyone could go home this week especially with a 13 people merge! Crazy!!!

 

My prediction:

 

Tasha wins immunity. Wentworth is on the bottom of the numbers and despite Joe's best efforts, the Bayon tribe aims to take her out. She plays her immunity idol and Kimmi goes home or something. I have no fucking idea! So many variables!!

 

Oh and Happy Birthday to our favorite angel and brightest shining star

 

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‣ savages teeth are so white, i think anonymous just leaked all his teeth’s personal information

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pictured: savage makes a stupid promise

 

‣ music cues as they head out to the merge make it sound like theyre headed for a slaughter

 

‣ #MERGE

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‣ look at this crazy cheese, thats like something out of a cartoon

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‣ nice animal reaction shot, rich with metaphorical resonance

 

‣ kass needs to stop saying “its all good in the hood”, its making me uncomfortable

 

‣ #JOELANGUAGE

 

‣ FUCK YES finally someone recites poetry on survivor, wish it was a fishback original but still im a real poetry nut

 

‣ if my tasha got rid of kass i would be so happy

 

‣ fuck off kass tasha is my replacement woo dont take her from me too

 

‣ classic survivor challenge, lets see who is the best at handling balls LOL

 

‣ of COURSE fishback is the first one out

 

‣ NO KEITH NOOOOO

 

‣ “youre holding a lot more pole now” ok probst settle down bro

 

‣ joe won the first individual immunity?? what a shocker

 

‣ shut up savage if they get kass out i will be so so happy

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‣ ilu keith im glad your not one of the people i have to hate for voting out my woo

 

‣ no no no kass dont you dare

 

‣ biggest tribal ever

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‣ idk if tasha believes that kass is out of the chaos game

 

‣ kass seems so smug at all times i never want her to win anything

 

‣ who does ciera think doesnt want to win

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‣ ugh fuck off forever chaos kass

 

‣ YES so glad to be wrong on my prediction YES YES YES

 

‣ almost as satisfying as abi going home, so happy

 

‣ i give it a PROBS on the PROBST scale, kass going was intensely satisfying but the rest was kind of boring

 

‣ ABI CIERA SPENCER KASS one down 3 to go

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Savage means so much business that he's got a fuckin suit jacket on to talk to these people.

 

Look at Savage sneaking into this shot to show us how surprised he is.

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Joe is just getting more and more fabulous.

 

Kass's "13 best losers ever" line bombed so hard with the gang that she might actually go home.

 

Ok Kass is dumb as shit for explaining this stuff in front of everyone. What are you doing

 

Damn. The very moment that the cheese started to weigh Joe down

 

stfu Fishbach

 

Feel good for Savage that he's back in his original home: a beach in Cambodia.

 

That's some great Wigglesworth content. A single nod. Now that's television

 

Savage itchy from what could be an appendectomy scar??? Will this affect his game??? Who's to say

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Keith has been praticing getting into hammocks. Good for you, man.

 

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Spencer talking to Joe like he's stupid. Come on, man

 

Yeah Kass you're right. Reciting a poem is such a classic bro-down move.

 

Kass has said something in the way of "you just unleashed the beast" like 5 times now. Who keeps locking the beast up you fucking idiot

 

Tooooo much Kass.

 

All this is good though because Keith is obviously safe.

 

Immunity necklace looks cool this year. Tactically it might end up being a bad thing that Joe has won this. He was safe anyway.

 

Kass has played so poorly.

 

Wentworth haaates being on this side so, so much.

 

Ciera's playing a dumb game.

 

Who voted for Savage???

 

Oh, so Wentworth went with (Wentworth wentworth) the numbers, and Ciera threw a vote away??

 

Good ep.

 

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Predictions! Predictions Predictions!

It's prediction time so the prediction man is coming to collect your predictions.

 

My prediction this week is that Joe will be voted off. And this time I mean it! Fishbach is out for vengeance!

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My prediction!

 

Fishbach over extends his hand in trying to get Joe out and becomes the target of Savage. This week we say goodbye to Mr. Stephen Fishbach!

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Uh oh, here comes Jeff with his torch snuffer. Looks like someone's Second Chance is O-V-E-R.

 

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I'm gonna go with Savage this week for the boot.

Tasha for the Immunity win.

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i say ciera, cant watch til tomorrow :c

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i say ciera, cant watch til tomorrow :c

 

I can't watch until tomorrow too, greggy. It's tearing me apart inside! Damn this life full of activities away from my TV!

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Goodbye Fishbach, he will try to eliminate Joe. However, he will start crying a lot and people will vote him off for being an unstable cry baby

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that was a deeply satisfying tribal council/vote and abi trolling the departing contestant on his way out makes her continued survival retroactively worth it

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HAHAHAHA one of the all time best councils! Loved it.

 

Fish's pathos over missing that bagel was amazing.

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Wowowowowowowowow what an episode this is a full on JEFF PROBST on the PROBST scale. Maybe tied for the best tribal council since "The Three Amigos" idol play in Caramoan. I went in thinking this gonna be Fishbach vs Joe and then Joe wins that immunity!! Kudos to the editors because I totally thought that Fishy was going home tonight! I felt like they were making Savage out to be this key figure who holds the Bayon alliance together deep in the game and then they fucking cut him out of the blue. Fucking brilliant man. This is the first time I can remember wanting to immediately rewatch the entire episode as soon as it finished. Anyway, here are the notes!

  • Wigglesworth just said more words in 6 seconds than she has all season long and it was immediately boring.

  • Joe slapped Keith's ass before the reward challenge. I wish Joe would slap my ass.

  • Damn. Wentworth got that Survivor bod going STRONG right now. Ay yi yi

  • Whose idea was it to send Abi first into the water to untie that crate? Keith on the other hand is a water God. Praise him.

  • Joe and Keith are a match made in my Survivor heaven.

  • Joe: Keith you gotta lift it
  • Keith: ...I don't know.

  • Probst: Joe carrying an entire box by himself THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT. JEREMY IS CARRYING A BOX ALL BY HIMSELF HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THESE MUSCLE MEN HOLY FUCK MY DICK IS ENGORGED BEYOND BELIEF
    • *Kimmi rollin a crate by herself*

    [*]Probst: ....

  • Ciera has nothing to lose, I'm digging her these past two episodes.

  • Keith gives absolutely zero shit about all this strategy talk.
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    [*]Keith is my hero. #ToTos

  • I had no idea that I needed Keith driving a Tuk Tuk in my life but I really fucking did. Holy shit. Look at how much he loves this
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  • Imagine if Keith crashed and for the first time in Survivor history 6 people were med evac’d at once

  • You know that you're being a whiny little bitch when even Abi calls you a Debbie Downer.

  • Stephen:I can't deal with it. I'm having a really low moment.
  • Abi: Get over it.
  • I LOVE IT

  • Another ball challenge! Hell yeah baby my boy Keith loves his ball challenges!

  • Savage to his ball: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮

  • Probst and the saga of ball innuendos continues:
    • "Keith and Joe both have two balls on their disc"
    • “One ball was tough. Two is definitely more than twice as hard!”
    • "Joe's balls start to move. Joe's balls move a little more"
    • "Those balls start to go in opposite directions and you’re in trouble."
    • "The wind is starting to blow causing Joe's balls to move"

  • Like major props to Survivor to having me be on the edge of my seat by watching two dudes balance balls. That was awesome.

  • NO NO NO NOT MY BB WENTWORTH YOU CUT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW YOU GUYS DON'T YOU DARE

  • Savage: Hey Fishbach is pretty strategically dangerous and a schemer so we should vote him out for sure. 100%
  • Jeremy: Hmmm...well what about...women.
  • Savage. Ah that's right. Women. Good argument. Yes okay, let's vote them out.

  • "I'm used to kinda getting what I want."
    • Which you wouldn't know coming from the very rich lawyer with a playboy model wife

  • Kass: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮

  • Ciera is cutthroat HELL YEAH I LOVE IT

  • Ciera is just asking to be gif'd with all these eye rolls

  • OMG OMG OMG

  • WENTWORTH KWEEEEEN YASSSSSS SLAY SLAY SLAY I LOVE YOU MY BB

  • OMG OMG OMG OMG THEY DIDNT SPLIT THEY ALL VOTED FOR HER OMG OMG OMG

  • OMG OMG ITS SAVAGE LOOK AT HIS FACE OMG OMG

  • Abi: AT LEAST YOU MADE IT TO THE JURY
  • Savage: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
    • That is high quality Brazilian shade AND I LOVE IT

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Fuck, that was satisfying. It pains me, as someone who was a big Savage fan coming into this season but he had become kind of insufferable and self-righteous and it was delicious to see him completely blindsided. But it's not all bad news for Savage - he now gets to spend three amazing days alone with Kass on the Pondarosa. Can you think of anything better? Mmm. Hope to god that place is retrofitted for the combined smugness.

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‣ its not often you have these really huge honking dreams…wait honking? he said honking? k

‣ i want to be hired by the challenge testing crew

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‣ yes kamikaze moves in the challenges love the fighting spirit

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‣ hahaha REALLY feeling joe right now, what a dirty birdy

‣ love joe and keith working together, supergroup

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‣ li’l fishback takes the loss pretty hard

‣ mmm that sandwich biting foley work gets my tummy rumbling, thanks editors

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‣ pictured: keith strategizing

‣ HAHAHA LOLOLOL KEITH IS DRIVING A MOTROCYCLE HAHA LMBO jk i dont know why everyone got so excited

‣ it was cute how excited he got about it though :3

‣ i feel so bad for the guys eating tropical fruit instead of bagels :c

‣ all these ball balancing challenges

‣ wow pathetic beginning to this challenge

‣ will they even make it to the next knot? lol

‣ joe and keith: immunity men

‣ lol look at these boys holding their rope and two balls…get it like a dick

‣ damn tbh glad joe won because i didnt like the scheming against him but that was a great competition

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‣ this week in survivor animal reaction shots a crab takes out the garbage

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‣ it was nice of the editor to blur out kass picking her nose as she entered the jury seats, i dont think she realized she was on camera

‣ uh chess where you dont know which pieces are which? thats called stratego joe

‣ AHH WHO IS SHE GOING TO GET

‣ GREAT moment damb

‣ man that has to be one of the most drastically needed idol plays in survivor history

‣ lol rip savage

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‣ man two votes and he’s out…unbelievable is right

‣ much as i dont give a shit about him im glad ciera and wentworth didnt go for fishback, would have been doing joe and savage’s dirty work for them, much bigger move this way

‣ this one gets a full PROBST, great ep

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man marshall mellow AGAIN with the bold prediction of the week and she nails it

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Survivor Cambodia has a challenge beast in Joe. In this thread, Jo is our challenge beast. I'd vote her out if I were able to. Very dangerous

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