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EPISODE 105 — John Gemberling, Our LIVE Friend

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Just cut myself trying to use a bottle opener on my beer. This is why I need a boyfriend* smh.

 

I finished listening to Reality Show Show today. Had a strangely intense emotional reaction to it. I'm probably on my period. Then I started thinking about what would happen if Hollywood Handbook ended. I actually cried. Shed real tears. I hadn't felt such despair since one of my old friends told me that my alcoholism was hurting the people close to me. I should probably bring this up in therapy. Except for that I don't have health insurance anymore and can't afford therapy.

 

Anyway I've been reading through the RSS forums as I listen to the show. It feels creepy to do, so I'm going to announce publicly that I've been doing it. Chanson, Valerie Bryant, Greggy and the rest of the RSS forum posters who I'm forgetting (sorry bout it) it's such an honor to exist in the same Internet space as you all. You're incredibly funny and that's so cool. But also I'm funny too, just saying.

 

In summation, I'm not drunk and it's very good that no one is posting here on this, the Lord's Day.

 

*It's honestly the only reason I can think of that I might need a boyfriend.

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Hey, I read the first part of what you just said and just wanted to say its very brave of you to share about how you cant open your beer. As a former boyfriend, its nice to know that beer-opening prowess is appreciated by somebody in this cold, cruel world. Best of luck to you in your quests*, and based on the first sentence, I bet the rest of what you wrote is very good. If I have time later I'll come back and look it over.

 

 

*Quest 1: safely open a container

Quest 2: find companionship

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Hey, I read the first part of what you just said and just wanted to say its very brave of you to share about how you cant open your beer. As a former boyfriend, its nice to know that beer-opening prowess is appreciated by somebody in this cold, cruel world. Best of luck to you in your quests*, and based on the first sentence, I bet the rest of what you wrote is very good. If I have time later I'll come back and look it over.

 

 

*Quest 1: safely open a container

Quest 2: find companionship

 

If you're saying you want to be my boyfriend, Spunky Foonerism, that's probably a private message conversation.

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Hey I only read the last part of what you said, but I'm assuming the only reason you need a boyfriend is for opening beers

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Hey I only read the last part of what you said, but I'm assuming the only reason you need a boyfriend is for opening beers

 

If you're saying you want to be my boyfriend, Silvrwoman, that's probably a private message conversation.

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TOTALLY LOL-ing at how funny women is.

 

 

edit> this post is actually sincere despite how stupidly it's written.

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Hey guys, haven't been on the forums all weekend. Looks like you all had a very nice time. I'll probably read it all tomorrow during work. Goodnight.

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Hey guys, haven't been on the forums all weekend. Looks like you all had a very nice time. I'll probably read it all tomorrow during work. Goodnight.

Yea, I even got a Hayzie Bone like, yet I couldn't even enjoy it - something was still missing from that post. I think I'll eventually forgive you

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If you're saying you want to be my boyfriend, Spunky Foonerism, that's probably a private message conversation.

 

Hurricane Dennis will not take kindly to this philandering.

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My dad leaves beers closed, 12 years sober we're all proud of you daddy.

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I am a woman with a boyfriend and I don't drink beer but he does make all my drinks (whiskey and soda on the rocks with lime is my favorite) and I still manage to hurt myself doing mundane tasks! Boyfriends are great but women are just not as good at avoiding injury so I suggest you just get used to it, young lady. Men are good for a lot but they can on!y do do much.

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I am a woman with a boyfriend and I don't drink beer but he does make all my drinks (whiskey and soda on the rocks with lime is my favorite) and I still manage to hurt myself doing mundane tasks! Boyfriends are great but women are just not as good at avoiding injury so I suggest you just get used to it, young lady. Men are good for a lot but they can on!y do do much.

 

Like dish out a sweet sweet dickin'?

 

 

 

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Yea, I even got a Hayzie Bone like, yet I couldn't even enjoy it - something was still missing from that post. I think I'll eventually forgive you

I know I can't make up for missing your big day, but just know that I'm proud of you.

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Like dish out a sweet sweet dickin'?

 

that hurts and, yes, theres much more that boys can do too. we're more than just what is behind our frontpants. we have feelings and some of us even do pottery (look it up).

 

i open drinks for a lot of girls and it doesn't mean that they couldn't do it themselves, and frankly, i can't even do it myself a lot of days (bottlecap companies should switch from steel to something softer and more manageable like meringue or the sauce they put into the eclairs.). we've gotten to a point in our social structure where, yes, girls are the same as boys, and, yes, the lines are blurred. so if you're gonna say something hurtful like that, then, yes, i will speak up.

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that hurts and, yes, theres much more that boys can do too. we're more than just what is behind our frontpants. we have feelings and some of us even do pottery (look it up).

 

i open drinks for a lot of girls and it doesn't mean that they couldn't do it themselves, and frankly, i can't even do it myself a lot of days (bottlecap companies should switch from steel to something softer and more manageable like meringue or the sauce they put into the eclairs.). we've gotten to a point in our social structure where, yes, girls are the same as boys, and, yes, the lines are blurred. so if you're gonna say something hurtful like that, then, yes, i will speak up.

 

This guy fucks.

 

(Silicon Valley reference)

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I know not everyone is a scientist, but come on, this one is pretty obvious. The cat's mouth eats and the poop comes out the dog's mouth, and vice versa.

 

I never imagined this possible, but I think you finally turned me off CatDog.

 

Well, time to turn in my fanclub badge I guess, and the international meetup is only a week away.

I was going as Lube, had a plane ticket to Irkutsk and everything

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silvr i dont want to panic you but there's a pumpkin on your head. don't make any sudden movements. those things are vicious this time of year.

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