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EPISODE 113 — Listeners, Our Close Friends 3

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Guys! Guys! It's gonna be ok! You can all stop going crazy and murdering each other and talking about other podcasts because I made us a new Sean and Hayes! If you listen closely you can almost hear them gossiping about Tom Hanks.

 

Sean_Hayzieball.jpg

 

Sean tried to make a joke about Hayes being related to Chet Haze, but then Hayes challenged that by pointing out how Hayes is his first name not his last, and they're spelled different anyway, so Sean changed the subject and just talked about how if he was Captain Phillips he would have been able to beat up all those guys.

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With all yall podcast lacking since no HH this week, listen to the 3 really great ones that came out today. CBB, I4H and High & Mighty

 

I can't listen to other comedy podcasts anymore.

I used to love CBB, I4H, Ronna & Beverly, etc., but then after listening to HH, everything changed.

 

To me, Hollywood Handbook is to ice cream as other comedy podcasts are to ice cubes. It's like how my parents gave me ice cubes as a treat whenever I did something good, like rewinding all their VHS1 tapes to get Mars Attacks1 ready for their next viewing. I loved ice cubes, they were cool, refreshing, and fun to eat. I was totally satisfied with the ice cube reward, and actually looked forward to Deliberation Day, during which my parents would decide which one of us kids deserved the positive reinforcement that month. Let's just say that I was usually to the ice cubes as the planet, Pluto1, was to the sun (the farthest away).

 

Anyway, one day last week, while ice cube shopping, I may have accidentally picked up a container of Dreyer's Chocolate Chip2 instead of my usual bucket of Soylent powder3. I did really well last week, showing up for every electric shock therapy session, so I knew I deserved to reward myself, but I didn't really feel like sanitizing the ice cubes; so instead, I ate a bite of the ice cream. It tasted sweet, way better than ice cubes.

 

The ice cubes weren't bad, it's just that ice cream is drastically better. It's sweet and stuff. Next year, if I determine myself worthy during my self-held Deliberation Day, do you think I'll pour myself a bowl of perfectly adequate ice cubes or extraordinarily funny ice cream?

 

1. These are 90's references so that you guys can better visualize the setting and political climate of the time 4

 

2. Hollywood Handbook in this analogy 4

 

3. Music in this analogy 4

 

4. Unnecessary footnotes 4

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People who live on islands are weirdos, I agree, but I'm also everyone's favorite weirdo currently being held captive at a mountain lodge by a Sasquatch, which is pretty difficult for me tbh. My dog isn't even here. But I did get to watch The Challenge.

 

Ok. So either you forgot to check your pocket for the flare or you shot it not east. My crew is getting thinned out up here. Bob took up with some mountain folk and seems happy, but I have a sinking feeling that Bob is being fattened up to serve as a holiday roast for those mountain folk. Frank was a diehard movie buff and wanted to try to relive a disputed scene from The Revenant. I tried telling him that it was some weird non-story and that he was best off leaving bears alone. RIP Frank. It's not me and Phil now. We've sent smoke signals to BR3, but I think we are alone. Anyway. We've tracked the Squatch to the lodge and are working on an assault plan. We'll keep you posted. Stay strong. #chansonstrong

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lots of good pods to listen to while i wait in line for Star Wars tonight!

 

i should have shelled out the extra $7 to see it at Arclight or somewhere with reserved seating, rather than having to wait in line with a bunch of fucking dweebs/nerds while i drown them out by listening to podcasts and vaping weed.

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hey, hope I'm not too late for silly soup talk, because I live near this restaurant.

 

cUlCuSg.jpg

 

 

p.s. everyone needs to like this post because tomorrow's my birthday and I am going to get upstaged by starwars, so I need validation from people on the internet to make up for it. I would be doing that sassy lady wearing a pink shirt emoji right here if I could. xoxo.

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because I live near this restaurant.

 

so now cody knows you're single, live in Portland, go to this restaurant, and will be buying birthday cakes tomorrow. Making it too easy for him. I don't even feel bad anymore

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.

oh this IS rich... are you "pulling a ThunderCock"?

 

let me tell you something silvr, I know ThunderCock, I have written in threads started by ThunderCock in the UTU2TM forum, ThunderCock has annoyed me personally on several occasions, you silvr are no ThunderCock.

 

ps (silvr let's not tell them yet that we punch up each other's posts, they are not ready to know i'm capable of being funny and making sense.)

 

pps (thundercock I love you and i'm just playing. look under the tree. yep, from me. no big deal. I had an extra PopMart tour playset that was just going to waste in the attic. merry x-mas babe)

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Funny, I lived near this place that apparently put too much stock in their punny name and not enough in cleaning their kitchen.

o.jpg

 

Other local pho restaurants that are really proud of their names include: Beverly Hills 9021PHO, Good Pho You, Pho Show, and Pho-nomenon

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When the Pho-man Bares His Steel, Tarantara Tarantara

I Pity The Pho

Pho Score and Seven Noodles Ago

War, HUH, What is it Good Pho (Absolutely Nothing)

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Anyone else seeing star wars tonight? Pretty excited.

 

 

PS: I wanted to add "No PHOmo"

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Pho Cure Self

 

EDIT: Let me clarify, I'm playing the game, not actually insulting anyone.

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This is my impression of asian Gordon Ramsey: "PHOKING HELL THIS SUSHI IS BURNT!"

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Funny, I lived near this place that apparently put too much stock in their punny name and not enough in cleaning their kitchen.

o.jpg

 

Other local pho restaurants that are really proud of their names include: Beverly Hills 9021PHO, Good Pho You, Pho Show, and Pho-nomenon

 

 

oh thats my hood

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Pho'd ruckers - they sell vietnamese noodle soup and hamburgers

 

Pho Glee - a pho restaurant with live acapella music

 

Pho Knee Bones - a pho restaurant/comedy club owned by an orthopedic surgeon

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I saw Star Wars: The Phos Awakens last night. It was quite enjoyable.

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