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GiveMeYourBaby

The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)

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The Matts from the James Bonding podcast (View to a Kill) recommended this movie, but it is so bad.

 

Things that are bad:

  1. The "The Room" style sex scene on a stairwell.
  2. Renee Russo's hair. When were rat's nests in style? Also Dennis Leary's bowl cut nightmare.
  3. Brosnan's therapist who is both an awful expository device and incredibly unprofessional.
  4. Renee Russo gets upset that Brosnan and her aren't exclusive after boning twice over five days.
  5. The cops get fooled by multiple men wearing bowler hats.
  6. Pierce Brosnan's character is a huge asshole but gets portrayed as charming.

  • He's a billionaire that steals art for fun. Instead of leaving an important piece of art in a museum for other people to appreciate he takes it and hides it somewhere only he gets to see it. The reveal at the end doesn't make it any better. He still wasted a shit load of the NYPD's time that could have been used to solve real crimes instead of elaborate pranks.
  • He hires a group of Romanians to stage a diversionary robbery and hangs them out to dry by making it impossible for them to escape. No honor among thieves indeed.
  • The phrase "fugitives with means" is uttered in a conversation where Pierce convinces Russo that as long as you have lots of money you can be happy even if you can never go back to your home country.

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It is a better remake directed by John McTiernan from a previous Norman Jewison film than the other McTiernan-Jewison remake that would come later ("Rollerball").

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It's a silly movie, and agreed Denis Leary's haircut in this movie is pretty special, but its a fun watch. Not too mention Rene Russo looked fantastic in this movie.

 

I'd be down for them to cover this movie if only for them to attempt to explain how the fuck it made sense that he was able to fit that painting in his briefcase without breaking the frame of the canvas in the beginning of the movie. I havent watched it recently, but I remember that part blowing my fucking mind when I was younger.

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I'd be down for them to cover this movie if only for them to attempt to explain how the fuck it made sense that he was able to fit that painting in his briefcase without breaking the frame of the canvas in the beginning of the movie. I havent watched it recently, but I remember that part blowing my fucking mind when I was younger.

 

Once again for a lover of art he treats paintings pretty recklessly, reinforcing my belief that he's just an asshole. There are still parts of the heist that confound me. Like how he disguised a heater as the leg of that bench without anyone noticing.

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Rene Russo looked amazing in this movie. Remington Steele was giving you good face.

 

I like this movie. You gotta enjoy the whole reverse-heist business and Nina Simone's Sinnerman is awesome with the bowlers and all. To me it's a good bit of movie fun, but I guess you do have to suspend your disbelief for it.

 

Ocean's 12 is the heist movie that I'd prefer them to poke fun at over Thomas Crown Affair, because I'm still not over Julia Roberts playing herself within the film... that was so weird and confusing. But either way I'm on board!

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Have to bump this enjoyable bit of nonsense. The plot of this movie is absolutely infuriating when you think about it, a bored rich businessman decides to risk the safety of countless people because he likes stealing and unstealing pretty paintings.

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