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Episode 116 — Cartoons, Our Close Friends

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anyone dumb enough to turn down a funny, sweet gem like Lizzy deserves a good punch in the brain imo. I'd be honored to do the honors. If you would have me, Lizzy.

 

Or you can do what I did the one time I ever asked someone out and then they stood me up. Which is get drunk and sleep with your sleaziest friend who rushed to your side as soon as he heard you were vulnerable and then meet his 2 year old daughter the next morning.

 

But actually probably just let me punch him in the brain. I'm jonesing for a good brain punching so you'd be doing me a favor, really.

I was about to say that I don't have any friends who are suuuuuuper sleazy, but then I remembered the one with two kids under four and a wife with cancer. He is perpetually down to clown. STAY AWAY FROM HIM THIS WEEKEND, SELF.

 

 

And how soon can you get to Winnipeg, Ashley? Let's get this done. BRAINPUNCH 2016

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sorry to start a new page with my sadass self, everyone. here is a picture of a popcorn gallery. pop1.jpg

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Don't sweat it lizzy. Think about it this way. There's like fifty forum people laughing at what an idiot he is. Bet he can't say that.

 

Also I was gonna suggest we play a game where we decide which flavor of popcorn we each are cause I'm such a Jalapeno cheddar but then I got distracted at the flavor that appears to be zebra. Anyone got any ideas about that

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I got distracted at the flavor that appears to be zebra. Anyone got any ideas about that

 

Yeah that one caught me off guard too. It looks caramel-related? Personally I'm a real Dill Pickle.

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I got distracted at the flavor that appears to be zebra. Anyone got any ideas about that

 

That tub is specifically for Debra.

 

edit: also I feel like I'm a cornfetti guy, but I know I'm really a parmesan garlic :(

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sorry to start a new page with my sadass self, everyone. here is a picture of a popcorn gallery. pop1.jpg

I'm not a popcorn guy, but damn some of those flavours look super delicious

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I'm not a popcorn guy, but damn some of those flavours look super delicious

 

if you were a popcorn guy eating it would be cannibalism.

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also not totally sure why the spaghetti flavor is so many different colors, because when i do spagetti its generally only a color or two, and thats brown and red, baby

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hey Lizzy, I think you're totally awesome and I'm down to fight any man who doesn't treat you with the utmost respect. It doesn't have to be that particular one. I just wanna fight.

 

oh and I'm such a salted caramel.

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you teach a middle school class, but they haven't met each other until now?

Wow, I really don't know if I feel comfortable answering that question publicly. That's really personal, and I'm not sure why you'd want to pry into my life like that.

 

But yes.

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Ok, so I don’t want to sound like a crazy conspiracy theorist or anything, but I’ve been thinking about this whole thing and it all can’t just be a coincidence. Let me explain.

 

If you look at the number “2016” you will see 2 things. The 1st thing you will notice is that subtracting the last 2 digits, 16, from the first 2 digits, 20, will give you 4.You will also see that there are 4 digits in the number 2016. Looking closely, you may also observe that the sum of 20 and 16 is 36. Keep that number in mind as we continue.

 

Please count the letters in David Bowie’s name as well is the letters in Alan Rickman’s name and add the total number of letters in the name “David Bowie” with the total number of letters in the name, “Alan Rickman”. If you have done this correctly, you should have found 21 letters.

 

Now add 21 to your previous finding, 36. Add the two digits of your sum, which should be 57, together. You should have come up with the number 12. If you did not, please start over from the beginning.

 

12 days before the date David Bowie passed away, January 10, 2016, is December 29, 2015. If you remember, this is one of the 2 Tuesday’s in recent Hollywood Handbook history that a new episode was not released.

 

A vital piece of information that should not be overlooked is that I was born in 1987. What is the sum of my birth year’s digits? [spoiler ALERT: it’s [b]25[/b]]. Add this number with the digit sum of the total number of letters in the phrase, “Hayes and Sean,” (I've probably said this like 7 times on here already, but I love those guys) which will give you a total of 28. It may surprise you that my birthday is on the 28th day of July. Even more bizarre, during my most recent birthday, I had 8 drinks, at Club 3411, blew out 28 candles, and learned that skin sensitivity regarding lotions is “not a good small talk topic” and “how are you surprised that your ‘Lotion Defense’ did not sway the Jury in your favor," and “how is any of this relevant to me asking if you come here often?”

 

Here’s where it gets really spooky. Add together all the digits stated in this analysis so far, turn to the person sitting next to you and say the digit sum. Notice anything interesting about that number? It's the digit sum of the number 6969696969696969696969696969!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

TkVLZDG.jpg?2

 

 

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You must've spent all day working on that post silvr

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I went to the dentist today and they said I was doing a "great job" taking care of my teeth and that I have a cavity. I do not care for their mixed messages and their loose definition of "great job". Also, as I was driving to work later, I saw my dentist out front of his office smoking a cigarette. What the heck, Dr. Bad Boy D.M.D. I let you put those hands in my mouth and now you're out here disrespecting your body in front of God and his creation. Unacceptable. Needless to say, I am never going to the dentist again. I'd rather walk around with a serious case of pooch-mouth than be lied to by degenerates.

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Ok, so I don’t want to sound like a crazy conspiracy theorist or anything, but I’ve been thinking about this whole thing and it all can’t just be a coincidence. Let me explain.

 

If you look at the number “2016” you will see 2 things. The 1st thing you will notice is that subtracting the last 2 digits, 16, from the first 2 digits, 20, will give you 4.

4 Washington Lane! The next clue is at the White House!

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69 is the number i think of while i give oral while receiving oral is that weird lmao

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RIP Celine Dion's husband. He was 69 + 4 years old.

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James Adomian characters:

 

Christopher Hitchens

Huell Howser

Philip Seymour Hoffman

Alan Rickman

 

I really hope he stops doing Bernie Sanders

 

maybe I should delete this. Turns out James Adomian is pretty pissed about people saying stuff like this (he actually seems pretty pissed about pretty much everything if you look at his twitter).

 

james, if you're reading this, I'm sorry and you seem like a lot of fun.

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