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Episode 129 - The Apple: LIVE!

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LIVE from Largo in Los Angeles, Andy Richter of Conan joins Paul, June, and Jason to discuss the 1980 disco/rock opera The Apple. They’ll cover June believing the movie took place in space, Paul not realizing the movie's connection to Adam and Eve, and the BIM mandated hour exercise. Plus, we get into accents as the audience comes prepared with BIM marks during Audience Q&A!

 

Don’t forget to check out Blake Harris’ Oral History of The Apple over at www.slashfilm.com!

 

Get yourself a BB-8 “What Is Its Mission?” T-shirt or Tote Bag over at http://howdidthisgetmade.bigcartel.com/

 

People of the internet: Watch Paul in Fresh off the Boat on ABC. Awhile ago, Paul and Rob Huebel did a comedy special on a 60 foot glass bus that traveled around LA. Now you'll be able to see it. Go to https://itun.es/us/3M4J9 now to buy it! You can also see Jason in Transparent on Amazon and in Dirty Grandpa in a theater near you! Also, check out June in Grace and Frankie available on Netflix, and in all the episodes of NTSF:SD:SUV:: on HULU for free, and Jason in The Dictator (he's still in it!).

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HDTGM:The Apple- June's Revenge!

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Stand-By-for-Mind-Control.pngThe character of Bulldog was played by Derek Deadman. He was also in TIME BANDITS. Just like THE APPLE he was a henchman of the devil-Evil played by David Warner. He wasn't topless in the film but he wore an equally horrible costume.
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This movie is evil because it seemed like, as the level of awfulness of each song increased, so did the amount of time it was stuck in my head. Ugh.

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Mr. Tops, the God of this story, is played by the same guy as the villain from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, who can be seen as a kind of Satan character. He is preventing the paradise that Bill and Ted's music is meant to usher in.

 

Ironic much?

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Mr. Tops, the God of this story, is played by the same guy as the villain from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, who can be seen as a kind of Satan character. He is preventing the paradise that Bill and Ted's music is meant to usher in.

 

Ironic much?

Dressed like this, he could have been in one of the ultra-gay-stereotype makeover montages as well. "ohhhh, Bim's on the way!"

160eee1b23ea677c7f13701bc1680509.jpg

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I really thought this is where June was going in the episode, but after Alphie gets Cosby'd by Pandi and she helps Bibi escape, she does have a dramatic turnaround, which raises a HUGE ethical problem. In fact, her heel turn is so complete, that at the end of the movie, when Mr. Topps comes to usher all the hippies to paradise, she follows them and is allowed to go with them to the new planet.

 

So, am I to believe, coupled with Alphie molesting his landlady, that this movie is honestly positing that rape is a viable road to salvation? What in the holy fuck??? Fuck this fucking movie!

 

...Come to think of it, isn't that what happens in Zardoz? What the Hell was going on back then?

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During the BIM Exercise Hour song they cut to people working out in a gym. Which I feel undercuts their premise somewhat.

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Off the top of my head I am not able to come up with a more ineffectual "hero" than Alphie. He doesn't stop BiBi from signing the contract, his new song that is going to save the day is a dead end flop, and when he goes to rescue BiBi he has sex with Pandi instead then leaves empty handed. Then he gives up and moves in with a hippie commune. That is his hero's journey.

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Off the top of my head I am not able to come up with a more ineffectual "hero" than Alphie. He doesn't stop BiBi from signing the contract, his new song that is going to save the day is a dead end flop, and when he goes to rescue BiBi he has sex with Pandi instead then leaves empty handed. Then he gives up and moves in with a hippy commune. That is his hero's journey.

 

Not only is his song a "dead end flop," but he reacts to his rejection like a petulant little piece of shit. Basically, the record execs he's performing his song for say, totally respectfully and with no indication that they are being coerced into rejecting him by Mr. Boogalow, "We're sorry, your saccharine little folk song isn't what our disco obsessed culture really wants. But you are very talented. Please come back with another song." And homeboy, reacts by yelling at them, flipping them off, and storming out of the studio. Whining like a spoiled brat at a minor setback? Sure. If there's a faster way to succeed in the entertainment industry, I haven't heard it.

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Man, I didn't get to see it yet, and I was sure the ep wasn't coming out today (even though they recorded it at the same time as the last movie). Alamo Drafthouse is doing a month-long Miyazaki retrospective, so I've been at the theater every night this week and haven't had a chance to see it. Guess I'll have to watch it when I get home!

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I haven't even gotten to the actual episode yet and I have to say these ads are actually making me laugh harder than any HDTGM ads. I sincerely hope that Squarespace changed their slogan to "You should!" just because Chris Hardwick and Kyle Clark messed that up on the Nerdist and made it a thing.

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How infuriating was it to have no final number? The Hippies (God's children) and BIM (Satan minions) finally meet. There could have been a song about following false idols/commercialism/anything? There was nothing. Also the noise from the police smacking their shields sounded like popping bubble wrap.

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So, let me get this straight. The key to escaping a society ruled by conformity, puts crazy crap on their faces, and listens to shitty music, is to conform to another group, that puts crazy crap on their faces, and listens to shitty music? Right. Gotcha.

 

Also, if Alphie and Bibi are Adam and Eve, wouldn't that make their child Cain? I hate to break it to you all, but you're going to want to leave that kid behind with Mr. Boogalow--he's real bad news.

 

And, while we're on the topic of babies...I recently found out that I'm going to be a father again! I know this isn't exactly the venue to announce these kinds of things, but I really wanted everyone to marvel at my manliness and virility.

 

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I promise, that just like my three-year-old, Jake, my new daughter or son will be raised on a steady diet of HDTGM movies.

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Funny you should mention Cobra Commander and Destro creating a rock band. It happened!!! This may be the actual making of "The Apple"...

 

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Man, I didn't get to see it yet, and I was sure the ep wasn't coming out today (even though they recorded it at the same time as the last movie). Alamo Drafthouse is doing a month-long Miyazaki retrospective, so I've been at the theater every night this week and haven't had a chance to see it. Guess I'll have to watch it when I get home!

Miyazaki is an acceptable excuse to delay everything from watching other films to eating and sleeping.

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Mr. Tops, the God of this story, is played by the same guy as the villain from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, who can be seen as a kind of Satan character. He is preventing the paradise that Bill and Ted's music is meant to usher in.

 

Ironic much?

AND this same actor (Joss Acklund) was the main South African bad guy in "Lethal Weapon 2"! When I saw him onscreen, I immediately said to myself, "diplomatic immunity!" as villainously as I could.

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Omission: while Jason was freaking out about not realizing Hootie McBoobie the landlady was Professor Sprout from Harry Potter, how come no one talked about how 'Bibi' is none other than Catherine Mary Stewart-star of the "Omega Man" meets "Valley Girl" 80's classic, "Night of the Comet"?Night-of-the-Comet.jpg

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Omission: while Jason was freaking out about not realizing Hootie McBoobie the landlady was Professor Sprout from Harry Potter, how come no one talked about how 'Bibi' is none other than Catherine Mary Stewart-star of the "Omega Man" meets "Valley Girl" 80's classic, "Night of the Comet"?Night-of-the-Comet.jpg

She was also in The Last Starfighter.

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I'm so glad that even though I wasn't able to watch the movie, this episode is so great. I was especially thrilled to see Andy Richter as the guest, the man is one of my favorites.

 

This movie sounds BONKERS.

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Omission: while Jason was freaking out about not realizing Hootie McBoobie the landlady was Professor Sprout from Harry Potter, how come no one talked about how 'Bibi' is none other than Catherine Mary Stewart-star of the "Omega Man" meets "Valley Girl" 80's classic, "Night of the Comet"?Night-of-the-Comet.jpg

And she's also looking mighty good these days, at least in the documentary. Also still hot: Finola Hughes.

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are those the crazy asshole bikers from

? , I guess they had lots of motorcycle left over. they did get some predictions right. one was someday in the future talent-less singers will star on a reality tv show.

 

The other thing they got right was segways.

 

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At one point in the gay nightclub,

would not look out of place at all in this film.

 

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I knew this was a cult, after taking the apple experience at the end of the film they all take the exit way out, gateway style, thank you genius bar! screw this place we've got another planet!

 

the_apple_mr_topps_arrives.jpg

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Something I found even more mind-blowing about the sudden appearance of Mr. Topps at the end of the movie, is the fact that when he is first brought up--and thus introduced to the audience--even Bibi has to ask Alphie who he is! You'd think that during that year of living under a bridge with the hippie brigade, and before marrying Alphie and having a child with him, the topic of his ardent belief that one day a man dressed like a pimp (driving a Rolls Royce with gold rims) will one day descend from the sky and deliver them from this evil world would have come up at least once.

 

Also, I think it's pretty fucked up that God will only apparently intervene and bring upon the rapture because a mediocre pop star is having a contractual dispute with her record label. Gee thanks, Mr Topps. Nevermind that the rest of the populace being oppressed by a fascist, totalitarian regime.

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Oh man, I'm ALSO so mad at myself for not realizing it was Professor Sprout, I feel like the worst Hufflepuff ever (although like books > movies forever and always, so I will probably recover pretty soon).

 

This movie was just unreal. It was the first one in a while that I just wanted to rant about to unsuspecting friends and strangers. The episode was great, but there are a couple things I want to touch on, apologies if anyone has mentioned these before:

 

1 - This movie had some kind of weird incest-y undertones. I was really torn as to whether Bibi and Alphie were siblings or a couple until thirty five minutes into the movie, when Bibi finally referred to him as her boyfriend. My initial thought was that they were a couple, but their song's lyrics were not really about romantic love, though everyone kept calling it a love song (which I guess could still be true, but I feel like "love songs" usually are about romance). It seems a little bizarre to be singing lyrics like "We're all children of the universal family" and "and we are everybody's brother, we share the birthright to be free" with your significant other, I think, but maybe I just don't understand because I'm not a hippie, AKA "refugee from the 60s." Also, does Alphie see Bibi make out with Dandi the first party? He seems overall upset by the environment and her buying in, but not necessarily about her going off with another dude specifically. Honestly, their relationship seemed weird and bad from the beginning.

 

2 - They touched on this a little, but Alphie and Bibi are way too trusting. Bibi's just instantly chugging enormous glasses of champagne and taking strange pills given to her by strangers, and Alphie shows up at a party thrown by his enemies, uninvited, to try to steal his girlfriend back, and thinks nothing of downing two classes of what Pandi refers to as her "special drink"? Moosejaw needs to do a better job teaching its children about stranger danger.

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