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JulyDiaz

Episode 129.5 - Minisode 129.5

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Anyone else think Robyn Lively looked a lot like Kata Mara in this movie? Especially in her face. My wife and I couldn't put our finger on who she looked like and when it came to us, we couldn't stop seeing it.

 

Either way, she was really cute in this. But I think she looked best in between the whole "sweaters/long skirts" religious look and the "crazy hair, crazy amount of lipstick" popular girl look.

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Sorry to flood the board again, but I just had to post a GIF of the cholo so we can see his sweet moves in action:

UUggwO.gif

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This was a long-form music video for Debbie Gibson's "Electric Youth" that took the bold stand of not showing or playing any Debbie Gibson, right? Right? I've never heard of this movie, let alone seen it before, and I have so, so many questions.

1. (Cool As Ice parallel) What is with guys in 80's movies taking girls they just met to abandoned buildings/construction sites for an epic make out sesh? Is the director making a visual statement about the Teen Witch's adolescent nascent sexuality blossoming in a secluded, strange location- away from the prying eyes and judgmental gossip of her locker room-dancing peers? Like, "yes, Brad, take me away to where no one can see you coquettishly leave a trail of Hugo Boss and Bugle Boy garments along unsafe, falling apart stairs, leading their way to a zombie apocalypse set of hapharzardly boarded up windows and exposed drywall, where we both shall reveal ourselves to each other. Do you have a blanket or something? The nails in the floor are poking my back."

2. How OLD is the dad in this movie?? I looked up Dick Sargent (who's in this movie because, Bewitched) on IMDB, and at the time of production, he was 59 years old (but looks at least 10 years older). Teen Witch is turning 16 in the movie (a point made time and time again), which means, as the oldest of the 2 kids in the house, Teen Witch was born when he was already like, 43. Ew. This can't be his first marriage. Is this an unspoken inside joke for the film crew? That he's actually Darren from Bewitched, and this is second marriage after Samantha dumped him and took off with Tabitha?

3. HOW is she a witch? I seriously never put it together. Is it genetics? Was dad a teen witch? Does it run in the family? I know Zelda Rubenstein told her she's descended from witches and looks exactly like the reincarnation of a Salem witch (PS, don't see the resemblance when they show it)... But, 'magical reincarnation'? Is that it? Is that a thing?

4. How is the snooty English teacher who does a fucking strip tease IN CLASS not arrested on the spot? He's shown in the next scene going through a car wash for comic relief (I guess?), but there's not even a line in the movie where the principal busts in and finds him in his boxers, like, "You're fired!" Was he just sent home that day? Was this a Catholic school and he's just being reassigned to a different district? (Seriously, get the Ruffalo from Spotlight on this)

5. Is this a musical? At several points, Teen Witch's classmates (who clearly vary in age from late teens to early 30's) bust into full blown song and dance numbers. But at the same time, these choreographed numbers are played by the actors like they're something they're practicing, like for a school play. "Guys. 'The Most Popular Girl' on 3. Ready? 1-2-3!"

6. Why is the nerdy guy who takes her to the dance at the beginning so rapey? Like, SO rapey. He grabs her by the hair and tries to yank her down to her crotch when they're in the car at one point. Dude. No means Ew. And, I know it's 80's movie teen comedy shorthand to have the guy who isn't the Brad of her dreams to be the total opposite, but you can have a dorky looking guy show up to be her consolation prize mystery date and not have him be a full-blown sexual predator. Also, why is he so oversexed? Shouldn't he be too shy and lack the confidence to talk to Teen Witch, instead of trying to Cosby her on the dance floor? Is that the 'joke'? That he's dorky looking but has the social graces of a 'roided up gorilla?

7. Did she wish away the one teacher that was nice to her (the drama teacher played by the late Marcia "Mrs. Krabapple" Wallace)? Why? Was it out of some sense of rewarding her for being the one supportive adult figure at this nightmare juice box version of a high school? Who replaces her in class? There's a big school play going on that's something of a plot point, but I guess the students in class are just picking up the slack and taking over the organization and execution of it?

 

There's more, I'm sure (the white guys who communicate in sub-Vanilla Ice raps only), but I'm exhausted.

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Lord I hope the episode is dropping tomorrow because I have so many things I want to talk about.

 

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Lord I hope the episode is dropping tomorrow because I have so many things I want to talk about.

 

giphy.gif

 

Like how her brother called HER a dog but HE turned into one?!

 

Props to that kid actor because goddamn did he play the annoying younger sibling well.

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Like how her brother called HER a dog but HE turned into one?!

 

Props to that kid actor because goddamn did he play the annoying younger sibling well.

Or how he was eating an entire chocolate cake underneath her bed while she slept!?

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I manged to grow up in the 80s and 90s, saw both Teen Wolves multiple times, but somehow am now watching Teen Witch for the first time. Such a confused film.

  • Rhett sounds like he is deaf in the Top That scene.
  • White people freestyling left and right
  • The weirdly creepy, intense brother (who was also in Halloween 3 and Near Dark). Especially in the bellhop outfit.
  • A Lost Boys-esque Saxaphoning mullet

Someone made a gif of the brother informing Louise that he ironed her homework to haunt your nightmares

 

 

 

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And to be fair, and with all due respect to Mr. Scheer, my gripe isn't actually with him or aimed at him, but more with the attitude of "closeting" people's interests. Day to day, there's just too much negativity and shittiness all around us.

 

I can really relate to what Fister is saying in general. I have really weird taste in music and I really hate explaining what I'm into and what I'm not because I can't really pinpoint what I do and don't like. It's just easier for me to be vague when talking to people that I know though work or whatever.

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Yeah, and it's on his IMDB page.

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Sorry to flood the board again, but I just had to post a GIF of the cholo so we can see his sweet moves in action:

UUggwO.gif

 

All I could think of after seeing this is Rebecca Black's Friday, sitting in the back seat

 

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Lord I hope the episode is dropping tomorrow because I have so many things I want to talk about.

 

giphy.gif

 

giphy.gif

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Josh Miller (Richie) is Jason Patric's brother in real life.

 

He was my favorite, most hated "creepy kid" in the 80s. I hated him in every movie he was in, especially in River's Edge, Teen Witch, & Near Dark. & funny enough, Jason & Josh both put out vampire movies in 1987. Jason with Lost Boys & Josh with Near Dark.

 

Anyway, I love Teen Witch very much & can't wait to hear the episode!

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Unlike everyone else on this board (it seems), I never saw this when I was younger. Am watching it now and am already--to quote Zouks--what. is. happening?

 

Also Dick Sargeant is in this movie? The second Darren from Bewitched? How many witch-themed things can he be in????

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He was my favorite, most hated "creepy kid" in the 80s. I hated him in every movie he was in, especially in River's Edge, Teen Witch, & Near Dark. & funny enough, Jason & Josh both put out vampire movies in 1987. Jason with Lost Boys & Josh with Near Dark.

 

Whoa, I never would have guessed that. Poor guy, it's like he got all of the Danny DeVito genes and Jason got all of the Arnold genes.

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Okay, I'm about ten minutes in, having remembered almost nothing of this movie, and I'm getting a serious "Nightmare on Elm Street 2" vibe right now. I'm half expecting someone to fall asleep in this English class and for this snooty teacher to become Freddy or something.

 

The brunette that started this "I like boys" madness (the only one that doesn't have 80s mall hair) is fucking gorgeous...

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Unlike everyone else on this board (it seems), I never saw this when I was younger. Am watching it now and am already--to quote Zouks--what. is. happening?

 

Also Dick Sargeant is in this movie? The second Darren from Bewitched? How many witch-themed things can he be in????

I actually saw it for the first time a year ago after a coworker found out I had never even heard of it and forced me to watch Top That on youtube.

 

I've been petitioning for this to be done here ever since lol.

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I think it's pretty wild that Louise writes erotic friendfiction about Brad but then during the locker room scene she seems to look on disapprovingly as the other girls sing about liking boys. Either way, "I like boys" is a great song and that shot of the girls dancing under the hairdryers is genuinely a fun little well-choreographed dance.

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Richie all grown up:

J7MIy0Z.jpg

 

Me, upon realizing the Teen Witch episode will be delayed by a day or two.

 

(Kidding, of course. Just really looking forward to this one.)

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He's the Teen Witch Tom Selleck.

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Okay, I'm about ten minutes in, having remembered almost nothing of this movie, and I'm getting a serious "Nightmare on Elm Street 2" vibe right now. I'm half expecting someone to fall asleep in this English class and for this snooty teacher to become Freddy or something.

 

The brunette that started this "I like boys" madness (the only one that doesn't have 80s mall hair) is fucking gorgeous...

 

The way it kind of pops in and out of the "musical world" is, to quote June...upsetting! Like I get this is about a teen witch and there's a fantasy element to it, but there's no rhyme or reason, really, to when those musical numbers happen. And they have the most repetitive lyrics ever!

 

But you know what? I liked this movie.

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