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Joe McGurl

Survivor MEGATHREAD

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Just got to the merge in Heroes vs. Villains. The Heroes are some real boneheads letting JT give the immunity idol to the enemy... Good show.

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i wonder if peter enjoys killing time looking at everyones little boo boos or if its annoying. i know for me when people come to me after work and ask which brand of cleaner is best i get pissed, like i scrub toilets all day at work and get paid a dollar over minimum wage, i dont need to do it when i get home for free

#dropyourbuffs

haha this new tribe twist is great, i only wish they stayed alone until the merge

oh my god its so good how much everyone loves tai

im pumped to see this tribal, two very good options

i'd love a season where there really are no idols, just fake idols hidden like everywhere to the point everyone is wearing 5-10 fakes to every challenge

ok tai chill out on the no idol thing, you're laying it on a little thick here

rip anna, there are a couple of big reasons im going to miss having you around the camp for

PROB ep, great tribe twist, great council

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hey guys is this where we talk about megadeath? Symphony of Destruction is my fave. what about you bros?

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Tai and Scott's relationship is the best.

Superidol seems way too strong though.

Julia barely knows how to fend for herself cause she's 18. If she was 19 or even 20 she'd be killing it.

Also good move not telling anyone her real age. Hall of Gamechangers anyone?

Also, Russell should've won Heroes Vs. Villains. Or at least Parvati... Sandra didn't do anything.

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Great ep this week! Nothing too crazy but just a lot of fun. I give it a light PROBS on the PROBST scale. This season has a very entertaining mix of smart, savvy, and overly confident players. I love it. Also, I realized now that we are in the merge phase, there weren't a lot of chances for players to pick up points I added a new section on the score sheet and that's been updated, so if you want to give that a glance, the link is still on the first post. Anyway, here are the notes!

 

Peter is PISSED at Joe! Oh shit you guys! This guy on the bottom of his alliance and disliked by the rest of the tribe is gonna make a major move!!

Nick is thinking. The robot is evolving

The timing of DEBBIE PART-TIME MODEL appearing could not have been better.

Hey here's some tuna salad for you to enjoy in this 100+ degree heat! Yum!

Probst is fired up for this reward! I love it baby

#WINNING

Daaaaaaaaamn Debbie, back at it again with the drowning jokes

Nick is mansplaining

Hell yeah! I like Michele a lot

This season has had such a strong cast of females and I love it

Orange hat best hat

Tai on Scot's shoulders is everything I ever wanted and mroe

Yesssss I love when people whisper to each other at tribal

OH SHIT STICK TO THE PLAN 2.0 KEITH NALE LIVES ON

We gonna go to rocks or what?

Julia has great handwriting

OOOOOOOH SHIT AUBRY WITH THE KILL SHOT

Goodbye Dr. Obama, your arrogance and obliviousness will be strangely missed

 

 

 

I'm just going to leave this here: http://www.modelmayhem.com/2850516

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whoa deb was also a model? damn this woman has had so many life experiences, i really admire her

lol jeff said "lets it get on" weird again this week

hashtag winning, feels like 2011 again

was debby a stand up comedian at some point too? VERY funny suicide joke about michelle possibly drowning herself, i had to pause the show because the editors dont give good room for laughs

good thing we've got a man like nick around to explain things to michelle

not looking good for peter right now i think

rip peter, another part of my crew bites it, im toast in this game

 

PRO ep to me

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If ... the beautys side with the brawn tribe

then ... that puts the brains tribe in danger

therefore ... Joe or Debbie go home

how ... by votes

why ... because of numbers

lets go!

haaang on. back it up, uh oh! ... The girls on the beauty tribe are not on board with the plan !

not again ... We got a #blindside coming

heere we go ... tribal is getting feisty

that's because ... Nick is being a dick

and nooow we really doin it! ... #Blindside A brawn-er is sent home

The end.

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Got two eps to watch!

 

I didn't take notes for the first one. Great tribal.

 

 

 

NOTES

 

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I love Cydney and can't wait for the Coneheads reboot

 

 

Ah shit Jason and Scott are back together.

 

It would be great TV if Jason, Scott and Nick stepped on a landmine.

 

Debbie playing awful. Aubry and Neal are smart (except for Neal walking around with the immunity idol swinging around wtf man).

 

Wow Jason is now full blown self-parody with this jock/nerd shit.

 

lol Jeff's just loving all the weird puss and lumps and growths

 

"Two balls on your disc", "Nick's balls dancing all over the place", almost sounds like... Jeff, that almost sounds like you said... Jeff, it's almost as if you're trying to say... Jeff...

 

The tribe being called Dara is really funny to me because that's just a standard Irish name. It's like the tribe being called Bill.

 

Someone google image searched "standard tattoo" and has been following Scott around the island projecting the results page onto his upper body for two weeks. Incredible commitment as usual from the Survivor crew.

 

Jeff: "You know I saw so many of you looked sick." Yeah Cydney looks pretty sick. Sick as in good. As in I am very attracted to Cydney.

 

All this preamble and stuff but Jeff really just wants a closer look at some welts. Sicko but I love him for it

 

Jeff's two seconds away from starting a "LANCE IT!" chant

 

Oh no is Neal going home, oh no... oh no. Shiiiiiiit.

 

Rumour has it that wasn't puss but Neal's blood forcing its way out of Neil's body and rumour has it Neal's blood is vanilla ice cream. Messed up

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Great first half of the episode. Solid strategy talk, the game is finally kicking up in that department. Bummer second half of the episode. Shitty way to go out #FuckDoctorRupert. PRO on the PROBST scale

 

Tai vs Chicken coming this fall to CBS

 

Tai's chicken doesn't miss a trick

 

Oh man, Nick's arrogance is so fun to watch

 

Wait Nick is actually playing the game now? And I sort of like him? What the hell

 

Orange hat best hat

 

Cool immunity necklace

 

Keith would've killed this challenge. Balancing AND balls? Right up his alley. We miss you always Keith. We love you. #NaleMale4E

 

This week in Probst ball innuendos:

"Tai's balls are bangin into each other" and "Nick's balls are dancing all around!"

 

I'm starting to like Nick

 

ALWAYS SPLIT THE VOTE WHEN YOU CAN ALWAYS SPLIT THE VOTE WHEN YOU CAN ALWAYS SPLIT THE VOTE WHEN YOU CAN YOU IDIOTS HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN THIS SHOW?!

 

Who the fuck is this Doctor Rupert clown? Where is Doctor Joe? We want Doctor Joe!

 

Wait another medevac??

 

Oh no! Not Neal! I love Neal!

 

Wow this sucks. What a fucking bummer.

 

Fuck you Doctor Rupert. This would have never happened on Doctor Joe's watch

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It would be great TV if Jason, Scott and Nick stepped on a landmine.

 

it'd be funny if they humpty dumptied the situation and surgically put them back together again and nick ended up with all the tattoos.

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i liked the ep and how excited jeff was to see peoples sick wounds, i say PROB

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Ooooooh baby that was so satisfying to watch. Awesome immunity challenge. Good play from Cydney and the girls. Lovin it baby. PROBS ep.

 

 

Wow I knew that Scot was a world champion basketball star but I had no idea he was also a world class impressionist. Holy shit.

 

"Neal always said that ice cream was in his blood so we checked and in fact it was. So, we drained him completely and you will feast on his frozen dairy blood."

 

HEY YOU GUYS MUST HAVE FUN! HAVE FUN RIGHT NOW OR ELSE I'M GONNA BE SO MAD, YOU GUYS! - Jason

 

Ooooooh Cydney is workin the grimy island hotness now. hoooo boy. I'm crushin.

 

Probst is a lil smug boy today!

 

Nick is such an idiot omg he's gonna go home tonight now I just know it

 

I love Tai, wow. That was amazing.

 

"When you are at your weakest, I will take advantage of you." - Nick or a serial rapist? You decide.

 

HAHAHAH I KNEW IT OH NICK YOU BOZO

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NOTES

 

Scott: "Survivor's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get". Damn, Scott. So true. Not immediately cringey and utterly regrettable after the first couple of words. Great homage to Tom Hanks, the original Castaway.

 

Blocking my ears so I don't feel empathy for Jason.

 

Jeff: "Aubry takes a dump."

Insane choice of words for when someone falls into the sea.

 

Spirit of Neal lives on in ice cream. His influence palpable.

 

Scott, wtf I'm blocking my ears again.

 

C'mon Cydney, yes, send these guys home please.

 

Nice, love when the food comes out.

 

You should never spell out the strategy even when it seems obvious imo, just in case.

 

Nick what r u doing. I love it he's destroying himself.

 

YES, very interesting.

 

Come on, Michele, just do it.

 

 

Looking forward to this ~~~tribal council~~~.

 

Nice to see Neal hasn't become one big boil. Sup man how's the ice cream business?

 

Tai. WTF, don't reveal shit for no reason.

 

YES it's happening

 

Nick describing tribal as "bittersweet", obviously thinks "bittersweet" means bitter.

 

Bye nick you stupid prick.

 

B9jTsit.gif

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Great first challenge

"i scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream" has taken on a whole new meaning

just sit on the poles and ass scratch your way to shore like a dog, c'mon aubrey I thought you were in the "Brain" tribe.

lovin the pigtails, BH

mormon scott has my heart

I may be in love with julia

went to make a sandwich and I come back to some crucifixion cosplay

"I'm like bamboo. Wind keeps blowing blowing. I'm resilient." gold

Holy christ on a christmas tree bby what a victory!

fuck scott. Tai not only has my heart but also my soul

can't wait for debbie's autobiography; ten bucks says she blew Clinton before Lewinsky.

goddamit tai

rip nick

 

prob/st

 

damn, joe with the call. you get *POINTS* mcgurl

hons dope .jeff bro

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i get why it is the case but the pizzas they have on survivor always look beat to shit

 

love this tai v cydney battle over nothing since afaik they are both super safe tonight, still cool to see them push themselves for the game

 

wow those two are going to be such challenge beasts

 

whoa do you think aubri may actually be cochrans dream girl? would love to see a survivor wedding

 

lol tai what the heck are you thinking bro

 

 

what a blindside, i honestly did not see that coming even with the pre-tribal politicking cydney did

 

tbqh i give this episode a full PROBST, best ep of the season so far imho

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Our first PROBST of the season. We all knew it was coming but it was a #Blindside to all of us! Wow!

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I forgot to take notes because this ep was so good, dare I say it, a PROBST on the PROBST scale.

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That tribal council was insane. Very fun to see the villains acting like villains and they have a super idol too! If Tai can get to the final three with Scott and jason, he definitely wins.

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Damn, Debbie!

 

i'll be wearing black leopard print all week out of respect.

 

P.S. Debbie's Ponderosa video is probably one of the top 10 pieces of filmmaking. Debbie, you are my guiding light, you are my guardian angel.

 

https://youtu.be/VxQI9227p14

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lets go hide the tools in the dark this is a great plan, im sure we wont lose our axe and machete forever

 

i dont get how making life miserable helps you not get voted off tho, pls explain

 

ValZ1nC.gif

wow cant believe this sick method only took twenty minutes to figure out

 

cool move julia

 

dang i never would have guessed tai putting out the fire

 

hey that was a tough challenge with lots of resets, but man the sound when that block hit the gong was so satisfying, a mighty "ting" rang out across the jungle

 

oh boy it would be fun to see the superidol get played

 

yessssssssssss i hope this debbie thing happens she will be so incredibly angry

 

AHAHAHAHAAHA AND THE BOYS STILL HAVE A SUPERIDOL THIS IS AMAZING

 

goddamn second PROBST ep in a row, what a council

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Damn, Debbie!

 

i'll be wearing black leopard print all week out of respect.

 

P.S. Debbie's Ponderosa video is probably one of the top 10 pieces of filmmaking. Debbie, you are my guiding light, you are my guardian angel.

 

https://youtu.be/VxQI9227p14

 

"I have gotten offers from columbian drug people you know to do they're ahhh chemical analysis"

 

 

That ponderosa video has all kinds of Debbie gems, I didn't know she was a card carrying member of Burk's County Juggling Society.

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I've watched that Debbie Ponderosa video like 5 times now. Now that she's at Ponderosa her romance with Nick can finally blossom.

 

Has anyone compiled a list of all her past careers?

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Can anyone confirm or deny that Aubry is the illegitimate love child of Cochran and Sophie?

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