Episode 131 - The Covenant

[Joven 373]

Well they also landed right next to the cops so they could laugh at them. They even turned the interior lights on in the Hummer so that the cops could see their faces easier, and with the license plate in clear view. Luckily the cops are worse cops than they are witches and never try and track them down.

[HotSaucerman 2051]

[Mathey 419]

I'm of the right age to share Jason's appreciation of former child star Jennifer Connelly. I was around 12 or 13 when Labyrinth came out, and as a 16 or 17 year old comic book nerd I was one of three people who saw The Rocketeer in theaters and fell further in love/lust with her. I still hold a sad-nobody-candle for her, even if her character's fate in Requiem for a Dream traumatized me.

 

Drew Barrymore seems like a pretty classic choice for child stars gone hot. I thought of her in a non-creepy way as the adorable little Gertie from E.T. for a long time, but around 1993 it got confusing. Her real life struggles and her ability to overcome them have just made me appreciate her all the more.

 

Oh, and Winnie Cooper (Danica McKellar) from Wonder Years. I wonder how she turned out?

 

(disappears after google search)

[Anonymous Coward 57]

Apologies for spamming the thread with Brendan Fraser

 

Brendan Fraser in George of the Jungle also hypnotized me. The Mummy is one of my favourite movies, he plays a great ne'er do well with a heart of gold.

 

He was perfectly cast in The Mummy series, even if it had some questionable sequels and spin-offs he's that perfect roguishly charming mixed with silly, and John Hannah is just a little nugget.

 

oh sweet lord... that movie is very important for many reasons. That scene where he's running with the horses at the fancy party? get out of here

 

Oh yea! it's like a scene straight out of a damn harlequin romance novel. Absurd. Couldn't you just slap him and his stupid pirate-y blouse.

 

.

 

My wife has a big crush on Brendan Fraser, even to the point of insisting on seeing The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor in the theater. It's something that I am a bit embarrassed about, especially since he has been in so many terrible movies.

Such a rich filmography, but it is a pretty understandable crush don't you think?

 

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

 

What is your source for this?

 

 

early show: bloodsport

https://www.facebook.com/HDTGM/photos/a.134941909905307.24981.112041552195343/991950207537802/?type=3&theater

 

late show: can't stop the music

https://www.facebook.com/HDTGM/photos/a.134941909905307.24981.112041552195343/991950714204418/?type=3&theater

 

 

and junes at the early show!!!

 

hope they get lexi alexander for bloodsport

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

early show: bloodsport

https://www.facebook...?type=3

 

The comments on that Facebook post definitely express a consensus that Bloodsport is a good movie. Or maybe the question is how did a good movie get made at Cannon?

 

Is there any particular reason why the poster is in German? For a second my tired brain thought "but I won't be able to follow the episode if they do it in German!"

[IMAHUGEHDTGMFAN 1837]

4 pages in and nobody's mentioned Home Alone 3-era Scarlett Johansson!?!?!?!

 

I have not watched Home Alone 3 nor the subsequent straight to video sequels but I do remember being smitten with Scarlett since she did "Ghost World" So... Agreed

 

I'm of the right age to share Jason's appreciation of former child star Jennifer Connelly. I was around 12 or 13 when Labyrinth came out, and as a 16 or 17 year old comic book nerd I was one of three people who saw The Rocketeer in theaters and fell further in love/lust with her. I still hold a sad-nobody-candle for her, even if her character's fate in Requiem for a Dream traumatized me.

 

(disappears after google search)

 

Jennifer Connelly is the kind of woman that anybody would lose their mind over... "A Beautiful Mind" was a doumentary about that

 

I would also like to mention Madeline Zima...

 

[Lando 2019]

 

Is there anything less mockable in the entire Cannon library? It's just an utterly solid, straightforward, unpretentious action movie.

 

Moreover, it actually avoids some of the issues that usually come with the territory in its genre. Particularly how the hero has no superfluous additional motivation to enter the central martial arts tournament. There's no mentor/family member/buddy/whoever needing to be avenged, no chosen-one destiny to fulfill, no greater scheme by the villains to unmask of which the tournament is a mere front for. He enters the contest simply to win it.

 

I definitely agree. There are much better JCVD movies to pick apart, but if they treat it as TGTGM this could be fun. Plus I would say that there is some really good cinematography in Bloodsport. I fully admit that I am biassed though.

[Cameron H. 23786]

To be completely honest, I don't feel entirely comfortable judging how attractive or unattractive child stars have once they've grown up. If they're unattractive, it just feels kind of mean, and if I've seen them as a child, it seems a bit icky. But, for the sake of the bit (and since I just watched Can't Buy Me Love) I'll put forward:

 

Patrick Dempsy:

 

 

Also...

 

Jerry O'Connell:

 

 

Alexa Vega:

 

 

Michelle Trachtenberg:

 

 

And to be clear, I don't think any of these people were ever "bad" looking. They were all adorable in their own awkward ways.

 

As far as "Horny Teen Comedy," I can't say I've ever really watched any. Maybe Ski School, if that counts. I don't remember anything about except that Dean Cameron was in it and there was a brief, but intense, period in my life when I thought he was totally dope. Miracle Beach, anyone?

 

 

I don't really remember anything about Miracle Beach either, but I do remember I had a HUGE crush on Ami Dolenz--who I literally just found out--also happened to be in Can't Buy Me Love. I have to say, I'm really happy with myself for free associating my way all the way back to that.

 

Finally, forum question: is this the fastest we've ever abandoned all pretense of discussing the episode's movie? I don't know about all of you, but I think that speaks volumes about The Covenant.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

I know the social class aspect of the "witches" in this movie was touched on in the podcast, but I feel like elaborating on it because I am a fucking nerd.

 

Historically, especially in Puritan New England, witches were the outcasts, the victims, or the people on the lower rungs of society. People who lived alone, widows, orphans, or just the generally unlikable were accused of witchcraft as a way to further "otherize" them and cast them further from the community because they just made people uncomfortable, which was not to be tolerated in communities as conservative as 17th Century Massachusetts. They were the scapegoats of a community's tragedies and despair, a way for a tight-knit group to focus their blame and fear for everything from famine to the inexplicable death of an infant. This is part of why Harry Potter is so relatable and easy to identify with, because he was such an outcast who finally found a community of his own through the very thing (magical abilities) that made him different and unique. For a movie to postulate that the cultural and economic elites of this New England town, the WASP-iest of WASP families, are the ones who hold true supernatural power is anathema to the very reason the myth of witchcraft exists in America. I know the movie isn't going for historical accuracy when the climactic battle between witches consists of two bros giving each other Street Fight hadoukens for ten minutes, but I just felt like typing my bullshit. Incidentally, is the reason why June was absent from this episode because The Covenant so frequently uses the most famous of Street Fighter special moves? Is June STILL afraid to face the truth about what IS a Street Fighter?

 

Anyway, now about the unique religious and cultural origins of witchcraft and witch trials in Europe... wait, hey, where is everybody going? Aren't you interested in...? Oh, ok, sorry.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

At least here in North Texas the song they used in the trailer is still played on the "alternative rock" station occasionally, and it was played even more so 10 years ago.

If you're talking about "The Edge," the last time they played exclusively current music was when Tripping Daisy and the Toadies (the first time) were a thing (and they were on 94.5 because 102.1 was still Q102). *shakes old man fist* I was still living in D/FW in 2006, and I remember it was just a few Nickelback and, like, Muse or AFI songs in between all of their otherwise exclusively late-90s rock programming.

 

Sorry guys. This concludes my Texas Talk segment.

 

 

early show: bloodsport

https://www.facebook...?type=3

 

late show: can't stop the music

https://www.facebook...?type=3

 

 

and junes at the early show!!!

 

hope they get lexi alexander for bloodsport

Lexi Alexander is still one of my favorite guests, and I'm so glad the show introduced me to her. She's a straight badass, and I love basically anything she has to say.

 

I think I'm actually as excited for Can't Stop the Music as I am for Bloodsport. That movie is completely bonkers.

[Cameron H. 23786]

I know the social class aspect of the "witches" in this movie was touched on in the podcast, but I feel like elaborating on it because I am a fucking nerd.

 

Historically, especially in Puritan New England, witches were the outcasts, the victims, or the people on the lower rungs of society. People who lived alone, widows, orphans, or just the generally unlikable were accused of witchcraft as a way to further "otherize" them and cast them further from the community because they just made people uncomfortable, which was not to be tolerated in communities as conservative as 17th Century Massachusetts. They were the scapegoats of a community's tragedies and despair, a way for a tight-knit group to focus their blame and fear for everything from famine to the inexplicable death of an infant. This is part of why Harry Potter is so relatable and easy to identify with, because he was such an outcast who finally found a community of his own through the very thing (magical abilities) that made him different and unique. For a movie to postulate that the cultural and economic elites of this New England town, the WASP-iest of WASP families, are the ones who hold true supernatural power is anathema to the very reason the myth of witchcraft exists in America. I know the movie isn't going for historical accuracy when the climactic battle between witches consists of two bros giving each other Street Fight hadoukens for ten minutes, but I just felt like typing my bullshit. Incidentally, is the reason why June was absent from this episode because The Covenant so frequently uses the most famous of Street Fighter special moves? Is June STILL afraid to face the truth about what IS a Street Fighter?

 

Anyway, now about the unique religious and cultural origins of witchcraft and witch trials in Europe... wait, hey, where is everybody going? Aren't you interested in...? Oh, ok, sorry.

 

I would actually like to hear more...and I won't let anyone call us nerds. I got your back, bro!

 

[taylor anne photo 11311]

To be completely honest, I don't feel entirely comfortable judging how attractive or unattractive child stars have once they've grown up. If they're unattractive, it just feels kind of mean, and if I've seen them as a child, it seems a bit icky. But, for the sake of the bit (and since I just watched Can't Buy Me Love) I'll put forward:

 

Finally, forum question: is this the fastest we've ever abandoned all pretense of discussing the episode's movie? I don't know about all of you, but I think that speaks volumes about The Covenant.

Honestly I kinda felt the same way, but this is why I'm purely sticking to the "I thought they were cute when I was also a kid and now as an adult I find them attractive as an adult as well" formula and staying clear of being mean and icky lol. Which is why Rider Strong, Natalie Portman, and the entire Harry Potter cast makes that list for me.

 

We didn't even make it 24 hours. Definitely the fastest we've deviated from the topic.

[kimba2488 17]

Sorry. Jason is mistaken. Ipswich is on the North Shore of Massachusetts, just beyond Beverly and Wenham. However, he is correct that it would take way too long to get to Marblehead. At least 45 minutes.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Honestly I kinda felt the same way, but this is why I'm purely sticking to the "I thought they were cute when I was also a kid and now as an adult I find them attractive as an adult as well" formula and staying clear of being mean and icky lol. Which is why Rider Strong, Natalie Portman, and the entire Harry Potter cast makes that list for me.

 

We didn't even make it 24 hours. Definitely the fastest we've deviated from the topic.

Btw, you probably already know because he was on DLM recently, but Rider Strong is in a movie called Too Late that's coming out next Friday (I may end up trying to see that and MIdnight Special back-to-back because I can't decide between the two). It played at Fantastic Fest last year, and everyone I talked to that saw it completely loved it.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Does anyone have a map of the Ipswich area? I'm starting to get the sinking suspicion that Jason may have been wrong with his geography...

[mkgrenwel 6]

Jason. What The Fuck? I thought you were my North Shore bro. I live in Ipswich and when I found out that's where this movie took place I was psyched for you to drop some North Shore knowledge on the podcast. Instead you don't even recognize us as NS brothers?! I was heartbroken.

 

I assure you, one does not drive through Lynn to get from Marblehead to Ipswich. We're between Salem and Newburyport.

 

Honestly, this was devastating.

 

SInce Jason fucked up so badly, I feel the need to give the regional background that he failed to provide.

 

While he was clearly very wrong about where Ipswich is, (I'm wondering if he was actually getting Ipswich confused with Scituate) he was correct that they seem to think it's much closer to Marblehead than it is. It's about 10-15 miles as the crow flies, but on opposite sides of Cape Ann. So when they said something like "maybe you were seeing the Marblehead lighthouse" that was complete bunk. There's a whole bunch of land in the way between Ipswich and Marblehead.

 

There definitely are not any cliffs like that anywhere nearby. There actually are some hills with steep slopes leading down to the water, but nothing like what you see in the movie. The beach they were theoretically on also only has one road in and out.

This gets back to the incompetent cops angle, because if they had any sense at all, they would just block off the road and everyone would be trapped at the beach (unless you can levitate a car, which the cops don't know is possible). And I think it goes without saying that there's not a wide open, perfectly flat area leading up to cliffs large enough to have a multiple minute high speed chase across.

 

Also, despite being a town on the ocean, there's no harbor like we see in that establishing shot. The north side of Cape Ann is mostly saltwater marshes leading to beaches. The center of town is built on the mouth of the river before it opens up to marsh as it gets to the ocean. We also don't have any bars for high schoolers that I know of.

 

One aspect I can confirm is that it can be pretty foggy here. Nothing like the smoke machine effects in the movie, but with all the marshes and the river, it's pretty damp and foggy a lot of the time. The dirt roads leading to random barns and colonial era houses in the middle of the woods and fields are also pretty legit. That is the stuff that felt the most like Ipswich to me.

 

Also, it's full of hunky, teenage boys who never wear sleeves. I can definitely confirm that.

[taylor anne photo 11311]

If you're talking about "The Edge," the last time they played exclusively current music was when Tripping Daisy and the Toadies (the first time) were a thing (and they were on 94.5 because 102.1 was still Q102). *shakes old man fist* I was still living in D/FW in 2006, and I remember it was just a few Nickelback and, like, Muse or AFI songs in between all of their otherwise exclusively late-90s rock programming.

 

Sorry guys. This concludes my Texas Talk segment.

I fuckin' am talking about The Edge! I do remember when they were 94.5 because I think after the switch that became country and I was like W H A T when my mom had turned the radio on. They're kinda back to playing exclusively current music unless Jessie is the DJ because she'll play all the actual good current music mixed in with the all-time faves from the past and it's always a super good mix of music. Otherwise it's a ton of Imagine Dragons, The 1975, Twenty One Pilots, and a bunch of other stuff that I never really consider "alternative rock." I think since they are owned by the same lurking radio management as Kiss FM then they were kinda forced to deviate from their core.

 

What I remember about 102.1 in 2006 is they also supported local artists a looot more. It was how I found out about my favorite band that's from East Texas back in '05. (Actually despite the Nickelback I think the 2006 songs they played were actually rather good now that I really sit and think about what was on).

 

All these non-Texans can deal with our Texas talk since we don't get that Massachusetts shit lol.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

Ugh, damp and foggy back roads full of Massholes wearing sleeveless t-shirts? Sounds like hell to me.

 

Except that Florida is the same, except 100 degrees hotter and filled with Floridians. Not THAT is a terror beyond human comprehension.

[Lando 2019]

All these non-Texans can deal with our Texas talk since we don't get that Massachusetts shit lol.

 

Well if that's the way it is I'm going to start talking about WAAF

[pepperjack 303]

I think the only thing that is important is Ipswich is not anywhere near Bolton!

 

 

Or Notlob, even.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

 

Well if that's the way it is I'm going to start talking about WAAF

For a minute, I thought you jumbled up WFAA (which is the ABC affiliate out of Dallas).

[taylor anne photo 11311]

For a minute, I thought you jumbled up WFAA (which is the ABC affiliate out of Dallas).

I DID TOO

 

[IMAHUGEHDTGMFAN 1837]

Incidentally, is the reason why June was absent from this episode because The Covenant so frequently uses the most famous of Street Fighter special moves? Is June STILL afraid to face the truth about what IS a Street Fighter?

 

And remember how during the explanation hope John Gemberling asked June if she had seen "Bloodsport" to draw a comparison?

 

The "Bloodsport" ep. IS GON' BE GOOD!

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

 

I definitely agree. There are much better JCVD movies to pick apart, but if they treat it as TGTGM this could be fun. Plus I would say that there is some really good cinematography in Bloodsport.

 

And