Episode 131 - The Covenant

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

 

Alexa Vega:

 

 

 

[Lando 2019]

 

SInce Jason fucked up so badly, I feel the need to give the regional background that he failed to provide.

 

While he was clearly very wrong about where Ipswich is, (I'm wondering if he was actually getting Ipswich confused with Scituate) he was correct that they seem to think it's much closer to Marblehead than it is. It's about 10-15 miles as the crow flies, but on opposite sides of Cape Ann. So when they said something like "maybe you were seeing the Marblehead lighthouse" that was complete bunk. There's a whole bunch of land in the way between Ipswich and Marblehead.

 

I was thinking he might have confused it with Sandwich, but you might be right.

[Amy the Gorilla 732]

I fuckin' am talking about The Edge! I do remember when they were 94.5 because I think after the switch that became country and I was like W H A T when my mom had turned the radio on. They're kinda back to playing exclusively current music unless Jessie is the DJ because she'll play all the actual good current music mixed in with the all-time faves from the past and it's always a super good mix of music. Otherwise it's a ton of Imagine Dragons, The 1975, Twenty One Pilots, and a bunch of other stuff that I never really consider "alternative rock." I think since they are owned by the same lurking radio management as Kiss FM then they were kinda forced to deviate from their core.

 

What I remember about 102.1 in 2006 is they also supported local artists a looot more. It was how I found out about my favorite band that's from East Texas back in '05. (Actually despite the Nickelback I think the 2006 songs they played were actually rather good now that I really sit and think about what was on).

 

All these non-Texans can deal with our Texas talk since we don't get that Massachusetts shit lol.

 

 

After they switched to 102.1 I ended up listening to 97.1 more, thought I haven't for a few years, but I've sort of quit listening to the radio all together for the most part. Their "Mandatory Metallica" still holds a place in my heart, even if they don't do it anymore. (As far as I know.) There was a controversy back in 2003-2004 where it just disappeared and became "Sunny 97.1" then a Tejano music station, then back to The Eagle. Those were strange times. I used to have The Eagle as my radio alarm and I literally had a "Groudhogs day" moment where the alarm went off and Sunny and Cher' "I got you babe" was playing.

 

 

Tangent (Feel free to skip):

That reminds me of a story. When I was around 12-13 (1997) I was spending the night at my cousin's house and she set her radio alarm to go off at 6am, but I guess she did something wrong because it went off at 3am, but luckily it was something fairly soft with a beat (I want to say it was something by Beck) so I was able to start drifting back to sleep, but the next song was Limp Bizkit's cover of "Faith" and at the chorus my cousin and I sat bolt upright, screaming and trying to turn the radio off.

[taylor anne photo 11311]

Here's a question. Since they are also doing Can't Stop the Music, why haven't they done more Steve Guttenberg movies?

[Cockney Mackem 514]

On the subject of child actors that got hot, I kept seeing an article pop up on different sites that said something like "You won't belieeeeeeeeeve what these former child stars look like now", accompanied by a picture of Natalie Portman or someone that I know I've seen AT LEAST a time or two since they were kids. Anyway, I check out the article (strictly for research, I assure you) and quickly learn that "got hot" means that they stopped wearing glasses, that they got the braces off, that they got a haircut that wasn't indicative of the time when they were popular, or that they simply became adults. Some of them were mildly surprising because there were some real one-hit wonders that I hadn't seen in 20 years, while others (like the blonde side character in Harry Potter) were people that literally grew up right in front of our eyes that have maybe been off of the mainstream radar for a couple of years.

 

Other ridiculous related lists: "What do the guys from your favorite emo bands look like now?" (Spoiler alert: Haircuts) and "What do Game of Thrones stars look like in real life?" (Also haircuts, and they look like they shower)

 

Those lists are always shite. Apart from the fact that you get bombarded with adware, they have some incredibly lame entries. "Celebrities you didn't know were gay" - Ian McKellen? Oh yeah, he's been keeping that under his massive wizard hat since he fucking came out 30 years ago and started publicly campaigning for gay rights....

[Cameron H. 23786]

Why do I get the feeling like there's a disproportionate amount of Texans on this board? I like to imagine you all live together in some kind of weird HDTGM-based commune.

 

I guess what I'm saying is...can I move to Texas and be a part of your cult?

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

Ironically given The Covenant's status as an early Twilight knockoff: its DVD has a trailer for The Messengers wherein Kristen Stewart takes up most of the screentime (unlike Zathura where her role in the film is minimal), but the trailer doesn't push her name/presence at all, choosing to emphasize only producer Sam Raimi instead.

 

At the time, what was The Covenenant compared to? It's easy to see the parallels to Twilight and Harry Potter in hindsight. But Twilight was still mostly a book phenomenon that hadn't crossed over from its target audience to general ubiquity. (I remember seeing a trailer for National Treasure having not yet heard about The Da Vinci Code; I had no idea where its weirdness was coming from.) And Harry Potter was still associated with a kid audience (not to mention creepy middle-aged weirdos), and its child actors were still way younger in the movies that were out by 2006 than the angsty teens of The Covenant. Did general audiences process it as similar to other stuff that it wouldn't evoke as much in 2016?

[Cameron H. 23786]

Here's a question. Since they are also doing Can't Stop the Music, why haven't they done more Steve Guttenberg movies?

 

My question is: is the June attended episode, Bloodsport, by accident or design?

[taylor anne photo 11311]

After they switched to 102.1 I ended up listening to 97.1 more, thought I haven't for a few years, but I've sort of quit listening to the radio all together for the most part. Their "Mandatory Metallica" still holds a place in my heart, even if they don't do it anymore. (As far as I know.) There was a controversy back in 2003-2004 where it just disappeared and became "Sunny 97.1" then a Tejano music station, then back to The Eagle. Those were strange times. I used to have The Eagle as my radio alarm and I literally had a "Groudhogs day" moment where the alarm went off and Sunny and Cher' "I got you babe" was playing.

Funny cause years ago I switched over to 91.7 and I still get confused and accidentally switch the numbers all the time. Both are great stations but I prefer KXT because of the variety of good music they play plus their local artist support.

 

But I'm really with you in that I kinda stopped listening to the radio completely and just have my iphone plugged in whenever I'm driving. Never get tired of going from Beastie Boys to Beyonce to Hamilton to Alabama Shakes.

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

Here's a question. Since they are also doing Can't Stop the Music, why haven't they done more Steve Guttenberg movies?

 

Or if they're doing movies without Steve Guttenberg, where's the other theatrical effort of Steel's Kenneth Johnson: Short Circuit 2?

[taylor anne photo 11311]

Why do I get the feeling like there's a disproportionate amount of Texans on this board? I like to imagine you all live together in some kind of weird HDTGM-based commune.

 

I guess what I'm saying is...can I move to Texas and be a part of your cult?

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

Renny Harlin on the casting, from the DVD making-of:

 

I needed great young actors, who of course are good-looking and look very different from each other. Because we are rapidly introducing 5 new characters to the audience in the beginning of the movie, and you have to be clear that we can tell them apart. We didn't want to have really famous stars in the film, because it is an ensemble piece, and the concept of the movie is really the star, in a way.

 

I report, you decide how successful he was...

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

Can we talk about the chase scene through the woods? Apparently those cops and kids are all fucking AMAZING drivers. Because they're somehow able to make it through what looks to be a fairly thick forest (that's for some reason almost devoid of underbrush or big roots or branches), and from the looks of it, don't even scratch their cars. Also, as hard as that hummer hit the ground when they landed, there's no way it's not totaled, and it never shows them using their magic demon eyes to fix it before they drive off again.

 

Even friggin' Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull bothered to explain how they could have a car chase in a forest.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

After they switched to 102.1 I ended up listening to 97.1 more, thought I haven't for a few years, but I've sort of quit listening to the radio all together for the most part. Their "Mandatory Metallica" still holds a place in my heart, even if they don't do it anymore. (As far as I know.) There was a controversy back in 2003-2004 where it just disappeared and became "Sunny 97.1" then a Tejano music station, then back to The Eagle. Those were strange times. I used to have The Eagle as my radio alarm and I literally had a "Groudhogs day" moment where the alarm went off and Sunny and Cher' "I got you babe" was playing.

Yeah, that was because Clear Channel owned both KEGL and KDGE, so to keep them from competing, they killed off The Eagle (which was stupid since they played entirely different types of music and had largely different audiences).

 

Here's a question. Since they are also doing Can't Stop the Music, why haven't they done more Steve Guttenberg movies?

That's a good question. I felt like they had done one before, but after looking through his filmography, I guess not.

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

So, what book is "the Book of Damnation"? It's shown as a big leatherbound volume, but what is its identity? Is it The Necronomicon? Twilight? Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire?

 

The Covenant wiki (yes, it has a wiki) is less than helpful:

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

Why don't the cops notice that the car which has supposedly gone off a cliff has made no crashing sound upon hitting bottom? It's foggy/dark/generally murky enough weather to handwave away not seeing it, but why didn't they expect to hear it?

 

And was I the only one who expected them landing aligned exactly behind the cop car to be a setup for them pushing it over the cliff?

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

Isn't it coincidental that the witches ascend at exactly the age that only was considered the beginning of adulthood relatively recently? If the witches were around centuries ago, that threshold would have been widely considered to be anywhere from 13 to 21. And the concept of adolescence (also conveniently aligning with the ages of developing witch powers) would not have even existed.

[Amy the Gorilla 732]

For a minute, I thought you jumbled up WFAA (which is the ABC affiliate out of Dallas).

I DID TOO

 

 

I know I'm late to the party, but so did I!

 

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

Wikipedia lists the motley array of powers associated with witchcraft in the world of this film:

At least they don't have witch-ventriloquism.

[taylor anne photo 11311]

Isn't it coincidental that the witches ascend at exactly the age that only was considered the beginning of adulthood relatively recently? If the witches were around centuries ago, that threshold would have been widely considered to be anywhere from 13 to 21. And the concept of adolescence (also conveniently aligning with the ages of developing witch powers) would not have even existed.

I thought about this with Teen Witch too (after the mini-episode had come out) but 16 being a significant birthday is very much a modern American concept. I highly doubt the witches of Salem were throwing sweet 16 bashes on their birthdays.

 

And The Witch refers to the oldest daughter as "approaching womanhood" and she looks no older than 15, and to me that's still pushing it cause she looks so young. (EDIT: Holy crap the girl who played her is reportedly 19 or 20 so they did a really great job of convincing me she was like 14.)

 

Even in Harry Potter there was never a certain age where the powers just appeared of they suddenly changed, it was just a, "Oh you're 11 and old enough for schooling now so here's your wand and you can actually direct that power you have." Still I wonder if they maybe changed some of the age requirements with the changing times in British culture.

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

Could the use of powers causing aging be a metaphor for smoking? The mom is smoking a cigarette when she explains it. Could that be a deliberate reference to the supposed factoid that each smoked cigarette reduces life expectancy by 7 minutes?

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

I thought about this with Teen Witch too (after the mini-episode had come out) but 16 being a significant birthday is very much a modern American concept. I highly doubt the witches of Salem were throwing sweet 16 bashes on their birthdays.

 

And The Witch refers to the oldest daughter as "approaching womanhood" and she looks no older than 15, and to me that's still pushing it cause she looks so young. (EDIT: Holy crap the girl who played her is reportedly 19 or 20 so they did a really great job of convincing me she was like 14.)

 

Even in Harry Potter there was never a certain age where the powers just appeared of they suddenly changed, it was just a, "Oh you're 11 and old enough for schooling now so here's your wand and you can actually direct that power you have." Still I wonder if they maybe changed some of the age requirements with the changing times in British culture.

 

Heck, even the concept of a year being 365 days would have been anachronistic if the witches predate 46 BC, when Julius Caesar changed the Roman calendar from a 355-day year. Does the power take into account leap years?

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

It's striking how bad the CGI is in when the car disassembles into pieces because a scene with lots of floating objects moving rapidly is actually something CGI should be able to do better than practical effects. Those were exactly the sort of things that always made the changes in film grain and inconsistencies along the edges of composited objects show: for instance,

And they can be done seamlessly in digital.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

 

Those lists are always shite. Apart from the fact that you get bombarded with adware, they have some incredibly lame entries. "Celebrities you didn't know were gay" - Ian McKellen? Oh yeah, he's been keeping that under his massive wizard hat since he fucking came out 30 years ago and started publicly campaigning for gay rights....

Another one I see a lot is "Celebrity Family Connections That Will Blow Your Mind!" That almost always features Jamie Lee Curtis, who I'm pretty sure was introduced to the world AS Janet Leigh's daughter.

[JoelSchlosberg 352]

They didn't half-ass it as much as one would think with the newspaper issue. Instead of lorem ipsum text or gibberish, freeze-framing the article shows that the article text actually makes sense. But would a student ODing really be front page news for an entire county?