Episode 131.5 - Minisode 131.5

[taylor anne photo 11311]

I couldn't stand that movie...

Every time you say you don't like a movie I just read your signature instead of whatever you actually say lol.

[Cockney Mackem 514]

Well, I've missed some of the recent ones because they're so hard to find in the UK, but I've just bought this on iTunes and sitting down to watch it now. I'm still not sure if Forest Whitaker is actually in this film or if I just dreamed it

[Smigg 1488]

I really hope that they address Frank Dux being completely full of crap about the Kumite.

 

Here's something that not many people know.

 

Frank Dux got into a fight with a guy named Zane Frazier, and proceeded to get his ass royally kicked. Because the the ass kicking, "Nasty" Zane Frazier was then invited to compete in a no holds barred tournament, tentatively called "The Ultimate Fighting Challenge".

 

Zane Frazier is best known for a fight in Brazil, where he rolled out of the ring, and knocked himself out on the floor.

 

Frazier also revealed some other stories about Frank, including one time where he tried to have Frazier and his wife killed for the ass kicking, and had some of his students attempt to rob a bank as a part of their "Ninja Training", although, shit like that is to be taken with a fistful of salt.

 

And, on an unrelated note, I saw Stephanie Beatriz mentioned, she follows me on Twitter, and I think she did it by accident and is too nice to cancel it.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

 

Thanks, Quasar! I really enjoy your comments as well, and on any other week, I would have argued that your's should have won the coveted "Award of Nothing." I've always found your posts to be informative, intelligently written, and funny. I particularly enjoyed your post about Jackie Robinson on the Easy Rider 2 episode--back before I joined the boards and when when you were still going by "Elitist Prick." However, no one could have foreseen this young firebrand joebronx absolutely knocking it out of the park! As you said, the banality of the comment coupled with the absurdity of the movie, and Paul's mirth as he read it, made that one a no-brainer.

 

Good job to both of you! Way to go, my witch-bros!

 

 

Wow, thank you! I feel honored that you remember my post and my former user name.

 

People, what is this? We are posting excellent songs, compliments, words of encouragement, and funny jokes. I thought this was the Internet! This is the same environment that spawned things like Gamergate and whateverthefuck happens on YouTube comments. Way to be decent human beings, ya jerks!

[Juggermax 75]

 

Im having fun with this.

 

Also it should be noted while many believe that this movie inspired Rorion Gracie to start ufc. The movie that actually inspired him was call the octagon starring chuck norris.

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081259/?ref_=nv_sr_1

 

Which should be done soon on this podcast

[Smigg 1488]

I love that the early UFC pay per views were just insanely effective infomercials for Gracie Jiu-Jitsu. Because they put in Royce, who was considered one of the weaker members of the Gracie Family, and he beat other martial arts experts.

 

I also love that the first UFC introduced the world to a Sumo Wrestler named "Teila Tuli"

 

 

Does he look familiar? He should, because he was also in Forgetting Sarah Marshall

 

[Juggermax 75]

 

Last one. I promise

 

#hunkbutts

[Juggermax 75]

I love that the early UFC pay per views were just insanely effective infomercials for Gracie Jiu-Jitsu. Because they put in Royce, who was considered one of the weaker members of the Gracie Family, and he beat other martial arts experts.

 

I also love that the first UFC introduced the world to a Sumo Wrestler named "Teila Tuli"

 

 

Does he look familiar? He should, because he was also in Forgetting Sarah Marshall

 

 

 

Tulis been in a bunch of stuff. He carved out a niche as "the hawaiian guy from the ufc" Although his ufc career only lasted 14 seconds.

 

Still not convinced those early UFCs weren't fixed for Royce

[Smigg 1488]

 

 

Tulis been in a bunch of stuff. He carved out a niche as "the hawaiian guy from the ufc" Although his ufc career only lasted 14 seconds.

 

Still not convinced those early UFCs weren't fixed for Royce

 

Not so much fixed, but they definitely stacked the deck. Tank Abbott talked about how he wasn't allowed to enter the tournament until UFC VI. There was also talk of Aleksander Karelin entering UFC IV, he was so close to signing, Rickson Gracie went into training to enter instead of Royce, be Karelin would have reduced Royce to a stain on the mat.

[Amy the Gorilla 732]

 

Last one. I promise

 

#hunkbutts

 

More like #definitelynotpancakebutt

 

Also, with the lettering of that pinball machine mirrored nem-x looks like some kind of medication, and the context you keep putting it in makes me think it's erectile dysfunction.

[Juggermax 75]

 

Not so much fixed, but they definitely stacked the deck. Tank Abbott talked about how he wasn't allowed to enter the tournament until UFC VI. There was also talk of Aleksander Karelin entering UFC IV, he was so close to signing, Rickson Gracie went into training to enter instead of Royce, be Karelin would have reduced Royce to a stain on the mat.

 

My God Karelin without drug testing would have destroyed everyone. Also would have been great to see karelin vs severin in an octagon

 

For those alienated by the fight talk, Aleksander Karelin was a Russian olympic wrestler that was pretty much raised in a laboratory. His nickname was "The experiment". Rumor has it that dolph lundgren's character in rocky 4 was based on him.

 

Also this happened not too long ago. Roids and cocaine, respectively, are a hell of a drug. Although Bolo still looks great.

 

[Juggermax 75]

 

More like #definitelynotpancakebutt

 

Also, with the lettering of that pinball machine mirrored nem-x looks like some kind of medication, and the context you keep putting it in makes me think it's erectile dysfunction.

 

 

I flipped that image to make it look better on some of the images. I was going for the idea that jcvd hooked up with the pinball machine (with consent).

[RyanSz 3140]

Van Damme in Mortal Kombat: Bloodsport Edition

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTd7mtr81ww

Funny thing is that Van Damme and his movies were basically origin concept for Mortal Kombat and Van Damme was apparently on board until he dropped out early in production, so they basically evolved the theme into MK, with the douchey Johnny Cage representing Van Damme.

[jarrycanada 2483]

This would of been a great Saint Patrick's Day movie..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhj_zwQucbs

Blown Away (1994)

 

Tommy Lee Jones Irish accent is simply amazing.

and it's got Forest Whitaker in it too, that little scene stealer.

 

mind you this guy clearly got my vote for best scene stealer.

 

[kjbleu 7]

The email about Sleepaway Camp had me boiling mad all day! At the 5:02 mark in the movie there is this conversation:

 

Girl: Aunt Martha's coming?

Boy: Is Ricky coming, too?

Dad: No, I'm afraid he's spending the weekend with his Father.

 

So the guy on the beach is NOT Ricky's Dad, and the husband of Aunt Martha (aka Dr. Thomas) left her years before. Although there is no real information in the movie, it seems most likely that the guy on the boats wife was dead, otherwise the surviving child would go to her, right? Since the surviving child went to live with Aunt Martha I would say she is the guy on the boats sister. There is also no evidence that the guy on the beach is married to the Crazy Aunt, I think he is just the Dad's gay lover.

 

Regarding cute kids who grew up to be hot, the all time champion of being a cute show biz kid to gorgeous actress has to be Alyssa Milano. Adorable on 'Who's the Boss', now a beautiful actress. Runner up is Lacey Chabert from Party of Five / Mean Girls.

[RyanSz 3140]

 

Not so much fixed, but they definitely stacked the deck. Tank Abbott talked about how he wasn't allowed to enter the tournament until UFC VI. There was also talk of Aleksander Karelin entering UFC IV, he was so close to signing, Rickson Gracie went into training to enter instead of Royce, be Karelin would have reduced Royce to a stain on the mat.

There was also the whole bit about Oleg Taktarov getting an easy win over Anthony Macias, who was also managed by Taktarov's manager, at UFC 6 in order for Oleg to have enough energy in the finals to face Tank Abbott. Macias basically tapped to a choke before it was fully set in at 9 seconds into the fight.

 

Also, I wonder if I'm in the minority in thinking that Royce is not all that he is cracked up to be. Yes he won the first bunch of tournaments, mainly because basically none of the other fighters knew about Jui-Jitsu save for a couple guys. Now Gracie might have the BIGGEST ego out of any of the old school fighters, just look at his entrance before his most recent fight with Shamrock or that he literally tells the viewer watching his UFC documentary a few years ago "you're welcome" for all that he did for MMA. Also his pro record is incredibly suspect as his first real loss was to the Canadian hillbilly Harold Howard due to forfeit, but a couple years later he actually was somehow able to get the loss struck from his record, and somehow he is able to keep his win over Sakuraba despite popping hot for steroids in the post-fight testing.

 

As for Dux being full of shit, there was a great article by Seanbaby on Cracked a few years ago about fighters who were total frauds but had the world convinced that they were for real. Most of them basically became famous because the internet was either nonexistent or in its infancy to where you couldn't look up a guys record in a second and had to take him at face value. So there were many guys who were claiming to be UFC champions in order to do autograph signings at conventions or to gouge smaller promotions for better paychecks against scrub fighters. What's great is a few of these got called out by actual fighters and eventually got their asses handed to them in equal level fights.

 

Sorry for the run on about MMA, but it's definitely a passion subject for me and Frank Dux is a total douche nozzle liar face.

[RyanSz 3140]

The email about Sleepaway Camp had me boiling mad all day! At the 5:02 mark in the movie there is this conversation:

 

Girl: Aunt Martha's coming?

Boy: Is Ricky coming, too?

Dad: No, I'm afraid he's spending the weekend with his Father.

 

So the guy on the beach is NOT Ricky's Dad, and the husband of Aunt Martha (aka Dr. Thomas) left her years before. Although there is no real information in the movie, it seems most likely that the guy on the boats wife was dead, otherwise the surviving child would go to her, right? Since the surviving child went to live with Aunt Martha I would say she is the guy on the boats sister. There is also no evidence that the guy on the beach is married to the Crazy Aunt, I think he is just the Dad's gay lover.

I was always under the impression that the gay lover had no relation to the family at all outside of his relationship with the dad. Aunt Martha is the dad's sister and dad's wife is presumably dead since she doesn't claim the surviving child. Martha is just a supportive sister who understands he's gay. Ricky doesn't realize that the Angela is really the brother because of her headcast that she has when she comes to Martha's house, and seeing as how Martha is full on crazy, she might hide Angela away for the time being to let her hair grow out and create false paperwork to say that she is indeed Angela, as evident by her admitting to doing the kids' physicals herself as well as their other medical paperwork.

[Smigg 1488]

There was also the whole bit about Oleg Taktarov getting an easy win over Anthony Macias, who was also managed by Taktarov's manager, at UFC 6 in order for Oleg to have enough energy in the finals to face Tank Abbott. Macias basically tapped to a choke before it was fully set in at 9 seconds into the fight.

 

Also, I wonder if I'm in the minority in thinking that Royce is not all that he is cracked up to be. Yes he won the first bunch of tournaments, mainly because basically none of the other fighters knew about Jui-Jitsu save for a couple guys. Now Gracie might have the BIGGEST ego out of any of the old school fighters, just look at his entrance before his most recent fight with Shamrock or that he literally tells the viewer watching his UFC documentary a few years ago "you're welcome" for all that he did for MMA. Also his pro record is incredibly suspect as his first real loss was to the Canadian hillbilly Harold Howard due to forfeit, but a couple years later he actually was somehow able to get the loss struck from his record, and somehow he is able to keep his win over Sakuraba despite popping hot for steroids in the post-fight testing.

 

As for Dux being full of shit, there was a great article by Seanbaby on Cracked a few years ago about fighters who were total frauds but had the world convinced that they were for real. Most of them basically became famous because the internet was either nonexistent or in its infancy to where you couldn't look up a guys record in a second and had to take him at face value. So there were many guys who were claiming to be UFC champions in order to do autograph signings at conventions or to gouge smaller promotions for better paychecks against scrub fighters. What's great is a few of these got called out by actual fighters and eventually got their asses handed to them in equal level fights.

 

Sorry for the run on about MMA, but it's definitely a passion subject for me and Frank Dux is a total douche nozzle liar face.

 

Same thing happened at The Ultimate Ultimate '96. Tank destroyed Cal Worsham and Steve Nelmark with one of the nastiest KOs ever:

 

 

And he was gonna fight Don Frye in the final, Don Frye had a long, tiring fight with Gary Goodridge in the first round, and was gonna fight Mark Hall in the finals. Frye had already fought Hall, and whooped his ass, so they agreed "Just tap quick, we both know Frye's gonna fuck you up, we don't need him fighting longer, or else Tank's gonna kill him).

 

Tank would have killed him, but Frye got the single luckiest break in MMA history when the mat bunched up behind him and he tripped, and he managed to choke him.

 

Royce wasn't actually that good of a Brazillian Jiu Jitsu fighter, having lost to guys like Wallid Ismael, which is one of the reasons they picked him for the UFC tournaments, because it was a case of "Hey, this is one of the weaker guys, and his fucking everyone up, imagine what one of the better guys would do". But he does have an ego, he was on another show, and he said "People will be interested in the history... I am the history".

 

There was actually a guy I went to college with, and he claimed to be a "UFC Fighter", and he was regailing me with these stories of his fights (baring in mind, he was 17 at the time), like the one time he got his arm broken, but knocked the guy out, with his broken arm, and how he took an elbow, and it opened up a cut from the top of his eyebrow, to the bottom of his nose, and it was, in his own words "Pissing blood", yet there was absolutely no scarring on his face. What he didn't know, I actually covered MMA as a side job/hobby, and pretty much knew the ins and outs of it, so I knew he was full of shit.

 

So, I kept the bullet in the chamber, until he announced "Yeah, I'm training for a fight now, it's a qualifier to get into the UFC", so I asked "Oh, who are you training with?" considering I knew most of the teams in the country, and could have set up an interview at any time, he said "I'm just with my uncle". Then I dropped the bomb "So, which show are you on? Because I'm currently with a website, I'll cover it, do a piece on you" to which he said "Uh... well... it's... uhhhh... It's an underground thing, it's proper illegal, I shouldn't even be telling you about it". And he never spoke of his fight career ever again.

[Cockney Mackem 514]

 

Royce wasn't actually that good of a Brazillian Jiu Jitsu fighter, having lost to guys like Wallid Ismael, which is one of the reasons they picked him for the UFC tournaments, because it was a case of "Hey, this is one of the weaker guys, and his fucking everyone up, imagine what one of the better guys would do". But he does have an ego, he was on another show, and he said "People will be interested in the history... I am the history".

 

There was actually a guy I went to college with, and he claimed to be a "UFC Fighter", and he was regailing me with these stories of his fights (baring in mind, he was 17 at the time), like the one time he got his arm broken, but knocked the guy out, with his broken arm, and how he took an elbow, and it opened up a cut from the top of his eyebrow, to the bottom of his nose, and it was, in his own words "Pissing blood", yet there was absolutely no scarring on his face. What he didn't know, I actually covered MMA as a side job/hobby, and pretty much knew the ins and outs of it, so I knew he was full of shit.

 

So, I kept the bullet in the chamber, until he announced "Yeah, I'm training for a fight now, it's a qualifier to get into the UFC", so I asked "Oh, who are you training with?" considering I knew most of the teams in the country, and could have set up an interview at any time, he said "I'm just with my uncle". Then I dropped the bomb "So, which show are you on? Because I'm currently with a website, I'll cover it, do a piece on you" to which he said "Uh... well... it's... uhhhh... It's an underground thing, it's proper illegal, I shouldn't even be telling you about it". And he never spoke of his fight career ever again.

 

The internet would have killed Dux's reputation for sure. The claim in the closing credits of Bloodsport it claims that over 5 years he fought 329 successive bouts, won them all and retired undefeated, and one of the tournaments involved 56 successive knockouts (in one tournament). Really?

 

On the other hand the fact that there actually is a caption card at the end with information about the real life character makes this feel like one of the more serious and credible Cannon films, like it's their Hawking/Turing movie.

[Smigg 1488]

Okay, I just found a Frank Dux "fact" that made me laugh so hard that it made me go light headed.

 

Frank Dux held a world record for winning a Tug of War... against 66 people... WHILST STANDING ON ONE LEG!!!!!!

[Smigg 1488]

 

The internet would have killed Dux's reputation for sure. The claim in the closing credits of Bloodsport it claims that over 5 years he fought 329 successive bouts, won them all and retired undefeated, and one of the tournaments involved 56 successive knockouts (in one tournament). Really?

 

On the other hand the fact that there actually is a caption card at the end with information about the real life character makes this feel like one of the more serious and credible Cannon films, like it's their Hawking/Turing movie.

 

Some of his claims are incredible, like how he's the only man in the world to break bulletproof glass, with a single punch, barehanded.

 

Just imagine if Chuck Norris made up the Chuck Norris Facts, but wasn't doing it as a joke. That's Frank Dux.

[Cockney Mackem 514]

 

Some of his claims are incredible, like how he's the only man in the world to break bulletproof glass, with a single punch, barehanded.

 

Just imagine if Chuck Norris made up the Chuck Norris Facts, but wasn't doing it as a joke. That's Frank Dux.

 

The high water mark of a bullshitter where I grew up was a bloke who claimed he once karate chopped a seagull in half as it flew past him. Spent so long in the SAS that he only ate his dinner with a spoon - didn't trust himself with a knife etc...

[Cockney Mackem 514]

Okay, I just found a Frank Dux "fact" that made me laugh so hard that it made me go light headed.

 

Frank Dux held a world record for winning a Tug of War... against 66 people... WHILST STANDING ON ONE LEG!!!!!!

 

Is that one of his actual claims or one of the parodies of him that does the rounds?

[Smigg 1488]

 

The high water mark of a bullshitter where I grew up was a bloke who claimed he once karate chopped a seagull in half as it flew past him. Spent so long in the SAS that he only ate his dinner with a spoon - didn't trust himself with a knife etc...

 

There was a guy I went to school with, these are actually some of the lies he told:

 

- My dad pulled a wheelie in a car

- My dog jumped over an 8ft fence, without touching it.

- My uncle calls me "Hacker", because I hacked into his computer with my PlayStation

- I once drank so much Vodka, I threw up on the garden and it burnt the grass

- I shagged the hottest girl in school over the weekend and I lasted 45 minutes... I started at the beginning of Friends, and finished half way through Frasier.

 

He also made some other shit up, like how he's been places, and was born in Canada (why he would lie about being born in Canada, I have no idea, just seemed like such an odd thing to lie about). He just lied indiscriminately.

 

But chopping a seagull in half and not being able to eat with a spoon because he can't trust himself with knives is incredible, it amazed me that people think that these stories would be believeable.

 

I think Jack Dee may have met the guy you were talking about though haha

 

 

Is that one of his actual claims or one of the parodies of him that does the rounds?

 

One of his actual claims.

[Juggermax 75]

The best think about this movie in my opinion is how fighting was perceived in the 80s. When this movie came out there was still a massive question mark about martial arts/self defense. Most of the traditional martial arts were exposed as non functional in real situations by this time and the schools had to cover that fact by teaching the students to "not using the martial arts in the streets or someone could get killed". The "someone" in most of the situations being the student.

 

I remember buying black belt magazines in the early 90s and reading all the bullshit claims that were being put out but being justified because the claimant know mystic asian secrets or something. Like some guy claiming that he could kill charging bulls with his bare hands. And this beauty:

 

 

A lot of that bullshit still resonates today in the ufc. For example, There is a technique called the "12 to 6" elbow. Its just a downward elbow strike, Imagine sitting at a table and trying to hit it with you elbow. But, someone at the athletic commission that governs the ufc saw a karate demo on espn where someone was using the 12 to 6 elbow to break bricks and said "that technique is too dangerous on a human. Im gonna ban it". That rule cost jon jones his undefeated record.