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BrookeWilliams

CBGB (2013)

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Ok, this movie is bullshit. It's been a few years since I've seen it and, though I'm shaky on remembering the details, it still sticks in my craw how much of a pain in the ass watching this movie was.

 

It's about the guy (Hilly Kristal) who ran CBGB and it stars Alan Rickman being sad and put out as the captain in a parade of bad wigs and worse lip syncing. Malin Akerman plays Debbie Harry and her shitty wig looks like they bought it at Party City. It glistens. It's got the blond surfer dude from Foo Fighters playing Iggy Pop for some reason. They really wanted to include some stuff about Punk magazine in it, so they just shoehorn in these clumsy comic book narration parts. There's all kinds of actors impersonating a bunch of bands really uncomfortably. There's a lot going on here.

 

When we saw it, it was at a special screening with a q&a with the director (Randall Miller) afterwards. I was seated in the front row, holding my boyfriend's hand and I about crushed his fingers trying not to laugh when ol Randall came out with a huge grin on his face, saying something along the lines of "GUYS! Didn't Malin look great?? Just like Debby Harry, right?! Can you believe that's not her real hair? It's a wig! Amazing right?" Pause for applause. People aren't sure whether to laugh or not. He continues "Yeah, yeah! See, I got a lot of crap before on Bottle Shock, a bad wig kind of undid that movie, hah! So we really had to nail it on this one and I think we did it."

 

I might actually have died. I might be a ghost typing this. The wigs are so bad, guys.

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Ok, this movie is bullshit. It's been a few years since I've seen it and, though I'm shaky on remembering the details, it still sticks in my craw how much of a pain in the ass watching this movie was.

 

It's about the guy (Hilly Kristal) who ran CBGB and it stars Alan Rickman being sad and put out as the captain in a parade of bad wigs and worse lip syncing. Malin Akerman plays Debbie Harry and her shitty wig looks like they bought it at Party City. It glistens. It's got the blond surfer dude from Foo Fighters playing Iggy Pop for some reason. They really wanted to include some stuff about Punk magazine in it, so they just shoehorn in these clumsy comic book narration parts. There's all kinds of actors impersonating a bunch of bands really uncomfortably. There's a lot going on here.

 

When we saw it, it was at a special screening with a q&a with the director (Randall Miller) afterwards. I was seated in the front row, holding my boyfriend's hand and I about crushed his fingers trying not to laugh when ol Randall came out with a huge grin on his face, saying something along the lines of "GUYS! Didn't Malin look great?? Just like Debby Harry, right?! Can you believe that's not her real hair? It's a wig! Amazing right?" Pause for applause. People aren't sure whether to laugh or not. He continues "Yeah, yeah! See, I got a lot of crap before on Bottle Shock, a bad wig kind of undid that movie, hah! So we really had to nail it on this one and I think we did it."

 

I might actually have died. I might be a ghost typing this. The wigs are so bad, guys.

 

 

That sounds a lot like the HBO series Vinyl, which I loved in spite of everything.

Clunky dialogue ,"Hey Mama Cass, how are ya? Stay away from that buffet now." Extremely variable standards of acting. Or just obvious 'guess who the extras milling around in the background are tarted up as?' Look, theres half of the Ramones standing beside Iggy Pop.

Or the sometimes good, sometimes bad portrayals of the famous who have dialogue and something to do with the plot. The guys playing Alice Cooper and David Bowie were very good. Robert Plant less so. West Midlands born and bred Robert Plant does not have a Cockney accent. And while the excellent actor Ian Hart was sensational delivering a hilarious anti German rant as Led Zep's infamously violent and foul mouthed manager Peter Grant, he was literally half the size of substantially burly Grant in real life.

And in the final (I think) episode of the series,Richie, the main protagonist, is sitting in his favourite New York bar having a relaxing drink when the bartender/owner tells him that hes not making enough money running the bar as it is and hes going to have it refurbished as a music venue called Country, Blue Grass and Blues. Richie tells him that its too awkward a name and that he'd be better shortening it. So that links with the film too.

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Lol, I didn't notice the wigs because I was too fucked up, but I did like the music. I wish there were decent clubs to go to now but music is fucking dead. So I kinda liked it.

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