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zreyburn

Southland Tales (2006)

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I really like various things in this film, but most people would say it is not good.

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I was recently subjected to this movie by a so-called friend. At first I thought it sounded awesome because EVERYONE is in this movie (Dwayne Johnson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Bai Ling, John Larroquette, John Lovitz, Mandy Moore, Abbey McBride, Cheri Oteri, Amy Poehler, Will Sasso, Sean William Scott, Kevin Smith, Justin Timberlake, Eli Roth, and part of Janeane Garofalo's head). But within thirty minutes I wanted to punch everyone who had anything to do with this movie directly in the face. I kept watching in hopes that there would be some sort of resolution or something would redeem it to being so-bad-it's-awesome, but no. It just sucks all the sucks there are to suck. Don't even try making sense of it, because there is none to make. And pay special attention to Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson's "acting". It is spectacular.

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Jesus, this immediately reminded me of one the worst movies in the try-too-hard category, The Box. Richard Kelly is the master of garbage.

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Donnie Darko was a classic but Richard Kelly pretty much shit all over the fame he garnered from it. Southland Tales isn't the worst movie in existence but it certainly tries to be. Then there's The Box.........yeah that was just terrible, waste of Frank Langella

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I really think you guys should look at Southland Tales, because it's a truly unique kind of bugfuck insane. Its Cannes premiere was horrendous, and by the end most of the audience was either booing or had left.

From Wikipedia:
Critical reaction to the film in its original, longer form was almost entirely negative. Many critics responded unfavorably to the film's long running time and sprawling nature. Roger Ebert described the Cannes screening as "The most disastrous since, yes, The Brown Bunny." Salon.com critic Andrew O'Hehir called the Cannes cut "about the biggest, ugliest mess I've ever seen." Jason Solomons, in The Observer (UK), said that "Southland Tales was so bad it made me wonder if [Kelly] had ever met a human being" and that ten minutes of the "sprawling, plotless, post-apocalyptic farrago" gave him the "sinking feeling that this may be one of the worst films ever presented in [Cannes] competition." A handful of the American and European critics, however, were more positive. Village Voice critic J. Hoberman, for example, called Southland Tales "a visionary film about the end of times" comparable in recent American film only to David Lynch's acclaimed Mulholland Drive.

How can a movie be insane enough to inspire that amount of hate, yet still be compared to Mulholland Drive? Oh man, you have no idea. Kevin Smith is in this movie, inexplicably made up as an old man who kind of looks like a melting Jon Voight: http://0.tqn.com/d/movies/1/0/T/N/Q/southlandtalespic17.jpg

Oh, it's so bad. So, so bad. With a cast including Jon Lovitz, Dwayne Johnson, Seann William Scott, Jeneane Garofalo (too many vowels, whatever), Amy Poehler, the guy who played Avon Barksdale, Cheri Oteri, Bai Ling, Wallace Shawn, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Mandy Moore, John Larroquette, and Justin fucking Timberlake, how have you not seen this movie yet? Oh, and none of the comedians listed play comedy parts - in fact, Jon Lovitz is a stone-cold murderer. Honestly, this is one of the worst-written and worst-directed films I've ever seen. Kelly doesn't just fail in every scene, he actively works to make the movie off-putting and offensive.

And after all that typing, I'm guessing all of you probably haven't seen it - it made $350,000 at the box office. Worldwide.

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If anyone can tell me how to put line breaks in a post, that would be great

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This movie is definitely insane, but I kind of find it enjoyable for how fucking ballsy it is. I mean, it's definitely not good or a competent piece of film-making, but I'd take Southland Tales over Transformers.

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That's why I love it so much - it's obviously the work of someone who cared very deeply, and it's filled with interesting ideas and bizarre takes on politics and filmmaking itself. It's a grand experiment that failed so fucking hard that it's laughable, but you have to respect the noble sentiment behind it.
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I'm actually meeting Richard Kelly in a few weeks, I think I'll give him kudos for it. It's insanely hilarious, and I think it would absolutely blow Jason's mind. "Literally the craziest movie ever, literally."

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From Roger Ebert's review of the movie "Did his [Director Richard Kelly] editor ever suggest that he might emerge with a more coherent product if he fed the footage through a revolving fan and spliced it together at random?" and "The dialogue consists largely of statements that are incomprehensible, often delivered with timing that is apparently intended to indicate they are witty."

It has shocking 35% on rottentomatoes. It stands as one of the worst movie watching experiences I have ever had. You have been warned.

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I already nominated this - it's seriously the craziest movie I've ever seen, I love it so much.

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Listen up people, this movie is amazing. Enjoy this amazing Youtube clip of Justin Timberlake singing a Killers song apropos of nothing:


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I promise you, it makes about as much sense in the context of the movie as it does here

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This movie has the weirdest cast too. It's almost a SNL reunion, but with no jokes, just people getting shot.

Sean William Scott has the same confused/scared face throughout the whole movie. Even when there are two of him.

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Haha, I totally forgot about that part! I honestly want to watch this movie again, I've forgotten how far down the rabbit hole goes. Then again, I've never watched it sober

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This movie is like talking to someone who feels like he has to show off how smart he is every time he opens his mouth, and instead just convinces you he's an arrogant, self-satisfied moron. It's like the "Epic Movie" of political satire, where you're just supposed to laugh at how it makes a reference to something you've heard of, rather than making a joke about it. (The bank named after Karl Rove is a particularly blatant offender there.)

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How the hell did this movie get made indeed! I vote this one up!

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How the hell did this movie get made indeed! I vote this one up!

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I made a bigass carepost about this a few weeks ago, I even emailed them about it. Southland Tales is literally the craziest shit I've ever seen, I love it.
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Bonus Timberlake:

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I made a bigass carepost about this a few weeks ago, I even emailed them about it. Southland Tales is literally the craziest shit I've ever seen, I love it.
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Bonus Timberlake:

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My roommate just exposed me to this. I still don't know what I just watched.

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My roommate just exposed me to this. I still don't know what I just watched.

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