In the Heart of the Sea (2015)

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

Has anyone else seen this movie? I know it flopped at the box office. (http://www.moviefone.com/2015/12/13/box-office-in-heart-of-the-sea-sinks/ )

 

I'm watching it now. I've read the book which I enjoyed but I'm baffled at how Ron Howard managed to make this story so BORING. It's a story about about old timey whalers lost at sea who EAT EACH OTHER. How do you make cannibalism DULL?

 

There's like this frame story where our beloved Breecey Gleesey just sits there and gives exposition every time he's on screen to a fictitious version of Herman Melville? Like everyone just loves that guy who wrote that book they were forced to read in high school? Ugh. I feel bad for him again. No one should have to talk to Herman Melville that much.

 

GET TO THE PART WHERE THEY START SHOOTING AND EATING EACH OTHER. It's literally an hour into the movie before the whale even attacks and the boat even sinks.

 

Did they think people wanted to see some real old timey whaling?!? I'm baffled by all these choices.

[taylor anne photo 11311]

I had no idea cannibalism was even part of the story holy shit

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

I mean, the book is. Maybe the movie isn't. I'm more than 2/3rds in and nothing interesting has happened yet.

 

But the whale *is* following them across the Pacific, like it's from Jaws 4. Which is amazing. Because... like it's a whale. One of the most docile creatures on earth. Like "Oh noes! It's the whale! It might... not eat us because it's a vegetarian creature that basically keeps to itself!!"

 

ETA: An hour and a half into the movie is the first mention of cannibalism. Poor Brendan Gleeson has to give a monologue about it.

 

[Glen Toran 94]

I mean, the book is. Maybe the movie isn't. I'm more than 2/3rds in and nothing interesting has happened yet.

 

But the whale *is* following them across the Pacific, like it's from Jaws 4. Which is amazing. Because... like it's a whale. One of the most docile creatures on earth. Like "Oh noes! It's the whale! It might... not eat us because it's a vegetarian creature that basically keeps to itself!!"

 

 

Most creatures are docile until you try to stick barbed spears into them and then they tend to appear somewhat less than docile.

Plus whales have mammalian smarts at least as much as elephants & aren't unthinking eating machines like sharks. Vegetarian or not, if a 90 foot long leviathan was pursuing me with malice aforethought then Im pretty sure Id go through my underpants collection in about 20 minutes flat.

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

I'm not saying a whale couldn't easily kill you if it wanted to--I have seen Blackfish and orcas are much smaller than Sperm whales. I'm saying it's highly unrealistic to say that a whale would leave its normal migration pattern to follow a bunch of humans in boats. You know, just to fuck with them whenever they're at a low point. Because once Chris Hemsworth decides he doesn't want to kill the whale (spoilers), the whale is like "I'm cool with you now, bro."

 

I mean, in the book they speculated the whale originally attacked the ship because they were hammering the hull, and it confused the whale's echolocation. But the whale doesn't continue to harass them after the hammering is done and the boat is sank. It's NOT naturally violent. I think it's dangerous to try to ascribe these human motivations to animals. Like it's just being a whale and you're trying to stab it--the guy with the harpoon is the asshole, you know?

 

Do I sound like June in the Monkeyshines episode? If so, I am okay with that.

[Glen Toran 94]

I'm not saying a whale couldn't easily kill you if it wanted to--I have seen Blackfish and orcas are much smaller than Sperm whales. I'm saying it's highly unrealistic to say that a whale would leave its normal migration pattern to follow a bunch of humans in boats. You know, just to fuck with them whenever they're at a low point. Because once Chris Hemsworth decides he doesn't want to kill the whale (spoilers), the whale is like "I'm cool with you now, bro."

 

I mean, in the book they speculated the whale originally attacked the ship because they were hammering the hull, and it confused the whale's echolocation. But the whale doesn't continue to harass them after the hammering is done and the boat is sank. It's NOT naturally violent. I think it's dangerous to try to ascribe these human motivations to animals. Like it's just being a whale and you're trying to stab it--the guy with the harpoon is the asshole, you know?

 

Do I sound like June in the Monkeyshines episode? If so, I am okay with that.

 

I totally agree. If you dont want a giant mass of vengeful blubber to ruin ýour day then for fucks sake stop sticking it full of giant spikes.

[tomspanks 9039]

Why don't they eat the whale?

[RyanSz 3140]

I'm trying to think of a movie where an actor lost a huge amount of weight for the role and the movie was successful either critically or financially, outside of Cast Away and the FIghter?

 

I know Hemsworth lost some poundage for the late part of the role when they are starving.

Christian Bale lost an assload of weight for the Machinist, which had decent reviews from critics but wasn't the award darling that people were hoping it would be.

50 Cent lost almost 60 pounds as well for All Things Fall Apart, which tanked and was panned.

 

Are there any that I'm missing where it ended up well for the actor or actress?

[Glen Toran 94]

I'm trying to think of a movie where an actor lost a huge amount of weight for the role and the movie was successful either critically or financially, outside of Cast Away and the FIghter?

 

I know Hemsworth lost some poundage for the late part of the role when they are starving.

Christian Bale lost an assload of weight for the Machinist, which had decent reviews from critics but wasn't the award darling that people were hoping it would be.

50 Cent lost almost 60 pounds as well for All Things Fall Apart, which tanked and was panned.

 

Are there any that I'm missing where it ended up well for the actor or actress?

 

Well DeNiro famously did the opposite and bulked up for Raging Bull.

And Amy Shumers legs were a revelation - to me at least - in Trainwreck.

I have no idea if she got those after some sort of gruelling fitness regime or just always had a great set of pins that I never noticed before but I was impressed and they didnt seem to fit the rest of her.....no offence to Amy.

[NathanGordon 1096]

This film was soooo boring and inexplicably in 3D. Hemsworth sure does get a lot of mileage out of his Aussie in King Arthur's Court accent, between this, the two Huntsmen movies, and all of his appearances as Thor.

 

The "old guy spinning a yarn" is probably my least favorite narrative framing device. "I wonder what became of that young man.... I believe his name was... Melville." It served no purpose in the film whatsoever, it added nothing. Just have the bloody story about the whaling ship! You don't need to cut away to the guy telling the tale every fifteen minutes! Arrrgh!

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

This film was soooo boring and inexplicably in 3D. Hemsworth sure does get a lot of mileage out of his Aussie in King Arthur's Court accent, between this, the two Huntsmen movies, and all of his appearances as Thor.

 

The "old guy spinning a yarn" is probably my least favorite narrative framing device. "I wonder what became of that young man.... I believe his name was... Melville." It served no purpose in the film whatsoever, it added nothing. Just have the bloody story about the whaling ship! You don't need to cut away to the guy telling the tale every fifteen minutes! Arrrgh!

 

RIGHT? Like we already get the story through... the story so adding an extra layer of exposition? Inexplicable. These guys read "Moby Dick" and thought, "this needs to be denser."

[RyanSz 3140]

Well DeNiro famously did the opposite and bulked up for Raging Bull.

And Amy Shumers legs were a revelation - to me at least - in Trainwreck.

I have no idea if she got those after some sort of gruelling fitness regime or just always had a great set of pins that I never noticed before but I was impressed and they didnt seem to fit the rest of her.....no offence to Amy.

Yeah bulking up seems to have the opposite effect for roles, for the most part. De Niro in Raging Bull, Christian Bale in American Hustle, and Charlize Theron in Monster all got praise for going up in weight, including at least Oscar nominations, or a win in Theron's case.

[Glen Toran 94]

Yeah bulking up seems to have the opposite effect for roles, for the most part. De Niro in Raging Bull, Christian Bale in American Hustle, and Charlize Theron in Monster all got praise for going up in weight, including at least Oscar nominations, or a win in Theron's case.

 

Probably because in Hollyweirdland the act of someone actively putting on weight is as bizzare and incomprehensible as badgers doing calculus. They are so overawed at the concept that they feel as if they have to throw shiny things at them to make them stop.

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

I'm trying to think of a movie where an actor lost a huge amount of weight for the role and the movie was successful either critically or financially, outside of Cast Away and the FIghter?

Pretty sure Leo lost a lot of weight for "The Revenant." And an article I Googled to confirm this mentioned "Dallas Buyer's Club" as another.

 

Also, on the opposite side, there is Sly Stallone in "Cop Land."

[RyanSz 3140]

Pretty sure Leo lost a lot of weight for "The Revenant." And an article I Googled to confirm this mentioned "Dallas Buyer's Club" as another.

 

Also, on the opposite side, there is Sly Stallone in "Cop Land."

Forgot about both of those last two. I can't remember if there was weight loss for the Revenant, though I know he was eating all the actual stuff being shown on screen.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

Forgot about both of those last two. I can't remember if there was weight loss for the Revenant, though I know he was eating all the actual stuff being shown on screen.

I didn't really think about it, because EVERYONE looks like shit in that movie, and Leo spends two hours trying not to die from everything, with malnourishment being the least interesting of his would-be assailants.