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engineerdoug

Episode 12.5 — Minisode 13

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Chev Chelios' brain has been stolen by a Dutch wheat cartel and replaced by an inferior mechanical duplicate. In order to keep it functioning long enough to retrieve the original he has to constantly learn by either reading or being read to. Also, having sex with Amy Smart helps for some reason. Reading is fundamental in... CRANK 3:NO-BRAINER!!!

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Chev Chelios' awakens in the burn ward to discover that this time his arch-criminal rivals have stolen his bones, and now he must continually take in calcium to give his body the structure required to kick ass--expect Statham to shotgun milk, slam multi-vitamins, suckle a cow or goat, and no doubt nurse a new mother in Crank 3: Maximum Boning!

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Crank 3-Devastation Masturbation...you can guess the premise from there. but just in case. he has to masturbate every hour to stay alive long enough to save someone.

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Crank 3: Night Of The Living Crank - Chelios is actually killed in the opening scene but, resurrected by Dwight Yokam (a skill he learned from Haitian witch doctors) he is only "undead" for a certain amount of time and they only way to become actually alive again he must get revenge on who killed him.

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Chev Chelios wakes up to find that the Chinese mob has rigged his heart to a mobile phone sim card. To stay alive he needs to collect minutes, data and stay in an area with coverage. Jason Statham in Crank 3G low battery.

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Chev Chelios wakes up to find he with doc the guy from napoleon dynamite as well as amy smart and they are being held captive by a more evil P Diddy, they must make a hit record every fifteen minutes in order to survive deadly traps and escape this R & B torture chamber.

In Crank 3: Crank it up

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Crank 3: Rebirth of a Nation.

Chev Chelios must return the Ku Klux Klan to its former glory in one week or else his arms and legs will fall off.

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