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JulyDiaz

Episode 139 - Simply Irresistible

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Which media outlet are they from?

 

I would also like to know. For science.

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Genuine question to all the Tom Hiddleton fans.

 

Are you more or less turned on now he has posed for those God awful topless photos. I don't fancy him myself but I can see how he has that sort of rogish/intelligent/sarcastic/bad boy appeal. But those pictures just look so embarrassing. Dad undies, untoned bod and an expression that's less 'come to bed' and more 'I think I left the gas on'

 

Jesus Christ! What do you want from the guy?

 

tom-hiddleston-for-w-magazine.jpg

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This occurred to me last night, and I think it's the last thing I have to say about this movie.

 

Simply question: Why a crab?

 

I tried to Google it last night, but I couldn't find any history of crabs being considered a particularly magical creature or any real mythological basis for why they might be appropriate for a movie about magic food. Nor could I find "crab" on any lists I found about the "sexiest" or "most romantic" foods.

 

I mean, I was able to get there, but the route was so circuitous, and meant jumping so many mental hurdles, that you would think you would finally just go, "You know what? Forget it. This idea is dumb."

 

Film Exec: "We're doing a romantic comedy with magical food. There should be some kind of food that gives her magical powers. Ideas?"

 

Writer: "Well, it's a romantic comedy..."strawberries" appear on almost every list of sexy foods."

 

Film Exec: "Really? There are lists for that? Nevermind. No, I don't think that will work. It should be, like, some kind of animal."

 

Director: "Clams are often considered to be an aphrodisiac. Maybe she gets a bucket full of magical clams..?"

 

Film Exec: "Errr...closer. But we kind of need something with a face. Something that can convey some emotion."

 

Writer: "You mean like a rabbit or a chicken? Maybe she makes veal..."

 

Film Exec: "Are you fucking crazy? This is a family movie! We can't have the audience see her slaughtering livestock in her kitchen! No. It has to be an animal with an expressive face, but not so cute that the audience will care if she cooks it..."

 

(pause)

 

Writer and Director: "Lobster!"

 

Film Exec: "Yes! Lobst--no wait. She's a down on her luck chef whose restaurant is about to close. She wouldn't be able to afford lobster. Hmmm...."

 

Director: "Couldn't her "Guardian Angel" just give them to her?"

 

Film Exec: "Give them to her?! What are you...some kind of fucking commie?"

 

Director: "Sorry..."

 

Writer: "What about crabs? No one gives a fuck about those..."

 

Film Exec: "Perfect."

 

Director: "Great! Fuck those guys!"

 

Writer: "Thanks! Now...Just to circle back a second, are we sure that the guy who gives them to her--sorry--sells them to her is going to be her Guardian Angel? I mean, the movie is about witchcraft, isn't it? I'm not sure if that will play..."

 

Film Exec: "Get the HELL out of my office!!!"

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Now do one with a topless Benedict Cumberbatch.

 

92b3b9e52ecd927dad1c3a342777fcfa.jpg

 

Overruled, Taylor Anne.

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This occurred to me last night, and I think it's the last thing I have to say about this movie.

 

Simply question: Why a crab?

 

I tried to Google it last night, but I couldn't find any history of crabs being considered a particularly magical creature or any real mythological basis for why they might be appropriate for a movie about magic food. Nor could I find "crab" on any lists I found about the "sexiest" or "most romantic" foods.

 

I mean, I was able to get there, but the route was so circuitous, and meant jumping so many mental hurdles, that you would think you would finally just go, "You know what? Forget it. This idea is dumb."

 

Film Exec: "We're doing a romantic comedy with magical food. There should be some kind of food that gives her magical powers. Ideas?"

 

Writer: "Well, it's a romantic comedy..."strawberries" appear on almost every list of sexy foods."

 

Film Exec: "Really? There are lists for that? Nevermind. No, I don't think that will work. It should be, like, some kind of animal."

 

Director: "Clams are often considered to be an aphrodisiac. Maybe she gets a bucket full of magical clams..?"

 

Film Exec: "Errr...closer. But we kind of need something with a face. Something that can convey some emotion."

 

Writer: "You mean like a rabbit or a chicken? Maybe she makes veal..."

 

Film Exec: "Are you fucking crazy? This is a family movie! We can't have the audience see her slaughtering livestock in her kitchen! No. It has to be an animal with an expressive face, but not so cute that the audience will care if she cooks it..."

 

(pause)

 

Writer and Director: "Lobster!"

 

Film Exec: "Yes! Lobst--no wait. She's a down on her luck chef whose restaurant is about to close. She wouldn't be able to afford lobster. Hmmm...."

 

Director: "Couldn't her "Guardian Angel" just give them to her?"

 

Film Exec: "Give them to her?! What are you...some kind of fucking commie?"

 

Director: "Sorry..."

 

Writer: "What about crabs? No one gives a fuck about those..."

 

Film Exec: "Perfect."

 

Director: "Great! Fuck those guys!"

 

Writer: "Thanks! Now...Just to circle back a second, are we sure that the guy who gives them to her--sorry--sells them to her is going to be her Guardian Angel? I mean, the movie is about witchcraft, isn't it? I'm not sure if that will play..."

 

Film Exec: "Get the HELL out of my office!!!"

 

This feels 95% accurate to me.

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Cameron -

 

msg-14050181904386.jpg

 

(That is not as bad because you can't see his alien face... and his body is not the alien body I was expecting)

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Jesus Christ! What do you want from the guy?

 

tom-hiddleston-for-w-magazine.jpg

Wait, are we complaining about this? He looks fine as fuck. Did someone really say he looks "untoned"?

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(That is not as bad because you can't see his alien face... and his body is not the alien body I was expecting)

 

Taylor Anne,

 

The Cumberbatchians are a wise and benevolent race that only wish to rule us in peace and harmony. We should welcome our new overlords with open arms and just allow their dulcet voices to wash over our unworthy bodies.

 

Mind your tone.

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okay but why does he look so concerned? What has he seen right of camera? Is it a crab?

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okay but why does he look so concerned? What has he seen right of camera? Is it a crab?

 

He sees the throng of people rushing to throw themselves at his sexy body. And his body language says, "Let's do this."

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Taylor Anne,

 

The Cumberbatchians are a wise and benevolent race that only wish to rule us in peace and harmony. We should welcome our new overlords with open arms and just allow their dulcet voices to wash over our unworthy bodies.

 

Mind your tone.

SFkMMP6.gif

 

You're also a 5,000 year old alien with human skin stretched over their skull, aren't you

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SFkMMP6.gif

 

You're also a 5,000 year old alien with human skin stretched over their skull, aren't you

 

4ae610ff29f149d05488b0acb58f4090.jpg

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giphy.gif

 

This made me snort my tea, so thanks for that.

 

Regarding crabs, could they have been influenced by Disney's Little Mermaid?

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92b3b9e52ecd927dad1c3a342777fcfa.jpg

 

Overruled, Taylor Anne.

 

Ask, and Cameron H. will provide.

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okay but why does he look so concerned? What has he seen right of camera? Is it a crab?

Okay, I admit I wasn't looking at his face. His hair looks pretty weird, too. Man's got some bone structure though.

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I like Tom Hiddleston just fine. I mean, we're pretty much raised to find English accents attractive here. But I confess I didn't see the appeal of Loki at all. His hair was all greasy and he smirked a lot. Plus the whole trying to conquer the world thing really put me off.

 

Anyway: why isn't the crab one of the Avengers? It's magical. It lives in New York. I'd rather see it play Doctor Strange than Cumberbatch. So...? LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

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I'm curious now. To everyone: What is your ranking of the Avengers by attractiveness?

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Long time listener first time writer, Paul. I'm glad we have this time together, love your work and skin.

 

I was listening to your most recent podcast this morning and you, your co-hosts and your guest missed that bobo Dan Akroyd, I believe his character name is Gene O'neil (pretty magical name) does in fact appear at the end of the movie. If you look just before the credits roll, you'll see Gene conducting the band on the stage as the crab crossed lovers kiss, just after we see the magic crab in a top hat.

Also, if you look closely at the crab when Sarah Michelle Gellar and Sean Patrick Flannery first begin to float, the crab raises its claw just before the couple is lifted into the air, then lowers it as Sarah Michelle Gellar floats back down.

 

Thanks for the free podcast, I adore your show.

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Long time listener first time writer, Paul. I'm glad we have this time together, love your work and skin.

 

I was listening to your most recent podcast this morning and you, your co-hosts and your guest missed that bobo Dan Akroyd, I believe his character name is Gene O'neil (pretty magical name) does in fact appear at the end of the movie. If you look just before the credits roll, you'll see Gene conducting the band on the stage as the crab crossed lovers kiss, just after we see the magic crab in a top hat.

Also, if you look closely at the crab when Sarah Michelle Gellar and Sean Patrick Flannery first begin to float, the crab raises its claw just before the couple is lifted into the air, then lowers it as Sarah Michelle Gellar floats back down.

 

Thanks for the free podcast, I adore your show.

 

I completely forgot about the weird look the contuctor gives! I had the smallest inkling of the thought that maybe he was the same guy, but leaning forward for a better look or rewinding a bit seemed like soooo much work by that point. It was close to the end and I couldn't give anymore fucks.

 

But the crab at the end, wow, that's just so straight jacket crazy I can't imagine what drugged up lunatic thought that up!

 

Damn. Great eye, Walter!

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I'm curious now. To everyone: What is your ranking of the Avengers by attractiveness?

I love this game

 

Are we doing the actors or the characters?

 

(why do I take this so seriously?)

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I love this game

 

Are we doing the actors or the characters?

 

(why do I take this so seriously?)

Haven't you done this more than once in previous threads?

 

Totally not saying that to discourage you from doing it here. I just think it's funny that it keeps coming up.

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I love this game

 

Are we doing the actors or the characters?

 

(why do I take this so seriously?)

 

Your choice!

 

Haven't you done this more than once in previous threads?

 

Totally not saying that to discourage you from doing it here. I just think it's funny that it keeps coming up.

 

Then you've had plenty of time to think about this. What say you?

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