Nine Lives (2016)

[RyanSz 3140]

I just saw this trailer before Finding Dori and was completely blown away by how bad this looks. First off, I love Kevin Spacey and for the most part I feel he really doesn't have a weakness when picking roles except for kiddy comedies. He can do dry humor (The Ref), dark humor (Swimming With Sharks), and dirty humor (Horrible Bosses), but it is just awkward seeing him in a movie like this where he is turned into a damn cat. Not to mention the CGI looks terrible for a 2016 movie, which makes me think that this movie was made a few years ago and only now released to capitalize on his popularity from House of Cards.

 

[NathanGordon 1096]

Ooh, I forgot about this. I saw a trailer for it at least six months ago; I imagine it's been delayed forever since this has been such a tentpole kind of year for kid's movies. It looks incredibly dull and I don't see them bringing anything fresh to the "my asshole dad is now my pet" microgenre that Disney perfected decades ago.

 

"Kids love this Grump Cat youtubes, eh? What if we made a movie with -- they want how much for the cat?! Just get me that queer who does impressions on Letterman, my six year old eats that shit up."

[TayshaRiggs 1]

The trailer alone made me jump online, make an username and suggest it on here because it looks.... horrific. I just binge watched House of Cards and I can't believe this is where Spacey ends up.

 

Barry Sonnenfeld strikes again

[IRONicmerMAN 391]

Spacey. Walken. Even Hines. Is this, dare I say it, a pet project of some sort? How sad. And how could this trainwreck need five writers?!?!

 

From the production company: "This Summer's Purrfect Comedy for the Whole Family!" Terrible. They could have swapped "fur" in as "for" to complete this diarrhea slogan, but couldn't even get that right.

[SlidePocket 707]

It's out now, and it is just as bad you heard based on the reviews. In fact, one video review revealed a very dark twist at the end for what is supposed to be a kids film! Here's the sample just in case.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hiy7yUTeV0Y

[RyanSz 3140]

Looking into this a bit, I see that filming started only last year, which is shocking as I thought this was filmed years ago and only released to cash in on the resurgence in popularity of Spacey over the past couple years. What kind of blackmail material did they have on Spacey for him to do this?

[IRONicmerMAN 391]

Looking into this a bit, I see that filming started only last year, which is shocking as I thought this was filmed years ago and only released to cash in on the resurgence in popularity of Spacey over the past couple years. What kind of blackmail material did they have on Spacey for him to do this?

 

The budget was $30M. Maybe he got ~1/3 of it.

 

This makes it seem somewhat more reasonable of Spacey:

"Spacey barely promoted the movie, which was the brainchild of former EuropaCorp chief executive Christophe Lambert, who envisioned the film as a high-concept comedy before repositioning it as a family film. Ousted from the company last February, Lambert died of lung cancer in May at the age of 51. Nine Lives cost just over $30m to make."

[IRONicmerMAN 391]

Here's a couple sad stats that show why films like this keep getting made.

• 44% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes.
  
• B+ audience score on Cinemascore.
  

 

And stats that show why films like this should never, ever be made ever again.

• 4% critic score on Rotten Tomatoes.
  
• 3.4 score on IMDB.
  
• 11 of 100 score on Metacritic.
  
• $6.5M opening weekend box on budget of...$30M!
  

[RyanSz 3140]

It's out now, and it is just as bad you heard based on the reviews. In fact, one video review revealed a very dark twist at the end for what is supposed to be a kids film! Here's the sample just in case.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hiy7yUTeV0Y

What kind of dark twist could there have been? What, was he a cat the whole time and his human persona was the actual magical test?

[SlidePocket 707]

What kind of dark twist could there have been? What, was he a cat the whole time and his human persona was the actual magical test?

 

 

Kevin Spacey's oldest son decides to commit suicide by jumping off their workplace building, and Spacey's cat form jumps off with him, and they freefall to their deaths!

 

[RyanSz 3140]

 

 

Kevin Spacey's oldest son decides to commit suicide by jumping off their workplace building, and Spacey's cat form jumps off with him, and they freefall to their deaths!

 

I thought you were joking until I found a summary online. Who the fuck thought that was the proper message for a kids movie and that was the way to protray it?

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

I saw that this wasn't screened for critics when I was checking to see if Suicide Squad would be. I feel so bad for Jennifer Garner. She's like sweetness and delight but she is in the worst movies.

 

... Spacey I do not feel bad for.

[taylor anne photo 11311]

I kept thinking how they got a beautiful cat to be in this movie. That's like the only thing I cared about.

 

But that dark twist really saddened me now... Fuck this movie...

[ElieB 238]

It's out now, and it is just as bad you heard based on the reviews. In fact, one video review revealed a very dark twist at the end for what is supposed to be a kids film! Here's the sample just in case.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hiy7yUTeV0Y

 

This review is mind blowing hahaha

[Auden 1809]

 

Kevin Spacey's oldest son decides to commit suicide by jumping off their workplace building, and Spacey's cat form jumps off with him, and they freefall to their deaths!

 

I laughed when I read the spoiler. The morbidness is just so ridiculous. More details of the twist are available in this review, 'Nine Lives' is Way More Twisted Than 'Suicide Squad', which has the tagline, "Barry Sonnenfeld's cat fable is one of the darkest, most nihilistic 'children's' 'films' I've ever seen."

 

Looking at the credits, it seems all the animal actors are credited.

 

Remember that 30 Rock episdoe, I Heart Conneticut, where a rom-com titled Take My Hand ended up as torture porn after going through various studios and re-writes? Maybe Nine Lives started off as the sequel to American Beauty.

 

[ElieB 238]

 

Looking at the credits, it seems all the animal actors are credited.

 

 

Oh wow, good for them. June would be pleased... i think lol

[TrevorAlonzo 38]

This movie looks like an SNL sketch.

[CaseyRafter 42]

Ooh, I forgot about this. I saw a trailer for it at least six months ago; I imagine it's been delayed forever since this has been such a tentpole kind of year for kid's movies. It looks incredibly dull and I don't see them bringing anything fresh to the "my asshole dad is now my pet" microgenre that Disney perfected decades ago.

God, I wish it'd been delayed forever. I hadn't heard of it until last week and can't understand hdtgm. In that way, i suppose it fits the show. But...just no. No

[BertramCooper 122]

FYI: This just got added to Amazon Prime Video today.

 

Perfect time to do it, Paul!

[ReporterAmber 10]

I hopped on just to recommend this movie. My 3-year-old son loves it. He's running around screeching like a cat as I type this. But that I let him watch it makes me a terrible mother. Among the inappropriate elements (warning: spoilers -- but you really shouldn't care):

 

- The body swap starts with a voluntary manslaughter attempt

- The cat gets straight-up drunk

- Speaking of "drunk," that's the basic character description of the ex-wife played by Cheryl Hines

- The cat leers inappropriately at Jennifer Garner

- It's entered the exclamation "Jeeeesus!" into my son's vocabulary

- None of Spacey's movie family members seem concerned he's near death in a coma

- There's a subplot with an infidelity misdirect

- Spacey's character repeatedly questions the manhood of his adult son

- The climax hinges on an implied suicide attempt and dead-ass cat

 

Additionally, the CGI, while occasionally impressive, is so over-the-top it's absurd.

 

Following's the trailer. NOTE that this movie has TWO Oscar-winning actors in it, as well as Jennifer Garner, who's at least a Golden Globe winner. It's a goddamn train wreck. Considering it just came out last year, I'm thinking they specifically made it so that it would become a HDTGM episode.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jHA97HzhxE

[NathanGordon 1096]

Question: does Kevin Spacey's spirit/soul/whatever take over a preexisting cat? Or is he just sort of supernaturally taking the form of a cat?

[ElieB 238]

^Amazing question.

 

Haven't watched this yet but it's on Netflix(Canada) now so I'm hoping it does make the HDTGM cut so I'm justified in watching it.

[tomspanks 9039]

Question: does Kevin Spacey's spirit/soul/whatever take over a preexisting cat? Or is he just sort of supernaturally taking the form of a cat?

 

The former. I think the cat's soul goes into the comatose Kevin Spacey? That part was a bit unclear. Otherwise, the movie makes total sense.

[ElieB 238]

Maybe it's a game of thrones warging type of situation. Where he enters the cat's mind and the cat's consciousness is still in there but subdued.

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

I'm still mad at tomspanks and Cameron H for convincing me to watch this. It's dumbfounding in nearly every way.