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JulyDiaz

Episode 140 - Mannequin Two: On the Move (w/ Steve Agee)

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Here I am again, commenting way late (I had to finish the movie Monday night)

 

Thoughts off the top of my head:

 

1) I'm relatively certain that the combined sound of Zouks' and Steve Agee's hysterical laughter could cure cancer. I damn near drove off the road on my way to work from laughing so hard just at that.

 

2) So glad Zouks called out the weird kissing. "Again, again!" EWWWWW

 

3) I think I fall on the "no genitals when frozen" side (That sounds amazing out of context)

 

4) I'm totally with Steve Agee on Tituss Burgess, I think he would be a great Hollywood in a remake

 

A++ episode!

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This is one of my favorite in-studio episodes in the whole series! Steve Agee needs to be on as often as possible, btw.

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I hate to break it to you all, but I'm not quite done talking about Mannequin Two...

 

After the cold open, we are introduced to Jason as he rushes to his first day of work at Prince & Co. Once he arrives, he is told to report to Mr. James. He does so, right as Mr. James Hollywood's current assistant is fired, and Jason is promptly given that position; however, I have some questions about this scene. First of all, Mr. James seems to have no knowledge of this new hire, which is fine as I'm sure he's a busy guy, but if Jason wasn't hired to work directly under him, why would be told to meet with him? Shouldn't he be reporting to HR or a department head? Won't the department he was hired to work for be upset that they to go through the expense and hassle of going through the hiring process all over again?

 

However this leads me to perhaps the bigger question: What exactly was Jason hired to do? I mean, he just shows up, is given a company credit card, and then is just sort of left to his own devices. The only reason he becomes Hollywood's assistant is because the person who had held that position literally just got fired five seconds before he showed up. Has anyone ever applied for a job and been hired without any prior knowledge of what that position actually is? Shouldn't he be like, "Actually, Mr. James, I'm your new accountant. I'm not exactly sure that I'm the best person to assist your Chief Officer in Charge of Visual Merchandising put on presentations for foreign dignitaries." This also makes me think: how pissed must have the other employees been to miss out on such a cush position? I know if I worked at Prince & Co, all I would want in the world is to work with Hollywood! You mean to tell me, after five long years of shilling your cheap, stank-ass, cologne, I don't even get a shot at that position because some chuckle head new hire just happened to be standing behind you when you shit-canned that other guy? Fuck you, Mr. James! I'm out!

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On my second listen, I noticed that one of my earlier observations was actually in the show (edited it out), but also that June's thing about those weird dancers was never fully addressed. I had the exact same thought as she had, that at first it was some kind of weird funky hip-hop thing, but that it was so weird that they carried it over to the slow dance, in such a posture that each of those dudes were just bent at a right angle, resting their heads on the boob of their partners -- UNSETTLING!

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2) So glad Zouks called out the weird kissing. "Again, again!" EWWWWW

 

I fell in love with June all over again with how she said "more, more" at that point. Can I have that on an audio loop?

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This is one of my favorite in-studio episodes in the whole series! Steve Agee needs to be on as often as possible, btw.

 

Agreed. His laughter added as much to this episode as everyone said Pete Holmes' detracted in the Can't Stop the Music one.

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I'm sure it's been said, but the original Mannequin takes place in Philadelphia. In fact, film critic Dan McQuade wrote:

The message of Mannequin, clumsy as it is, is that the greatest place and time in recorded history is 1980s Philadelphia...Truly, this is the most uplifting film ever made about the city.

 

So, I guess we ought to take the Rocky statue down from in front of the art museum and put up a mannequin of Kim Cattrall instead.

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I actually enjoyed some of the 1990's comedy moments in this movie.

 

But one concern I had was the "morning after the amazing first night" cooking scene.....it just upset me on so many levels. I don't know if it was for comedic effect or what, but it just made me nauseous and angry.

Him putting the sausages in the toaster, putting the O.J. in the microwave, vacuuming the seeds off of the cantaloupe, and the death knell for me was crunching the eggs in the sifter.

So goddamn gross.

Then he DROPS IT ALL AFTER SEEING SHE TURNED INTO A MANNEQUIN!

I also got frustrated at him for not realizing at that moment that maybe it was the necklace that did it.....I think I got a bit too invested into the movie.

 

I second the annoying "wackiness" of this scene, which fits into the whole maybe-he's-supposed-to-be-Parker-Lewis-or-something thing someone mentioned before (look how wacky with that rustbucket car, brushing while driving and washing his mouth out with Sprite!). Eggs through a collander might work but there's nothing efficient about it, sausage would burst into flames in a toaster like that, a Dustbuster would possibly short out vacuuming up the wet seeds, the cantaloupe would be left with no seeds but probably residue from around the spout of the Dustbuster, and spooning frozen orange juice concentrate into cups then microwaving them would get you a microwave covered in gross orangey mess, not two perfect glasses of orange juice.

 

To cap it all off, his mother walks into the bedroom and the first thing she says isn't "LOOK AT THE FUCKING MESS YOU'VE MADE IN MY HOUSE THAT YOU LIVE IN RENT-FREE YOU MANNEQUIN-SEXING MONSTER."

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Regarding Malequin, I think we need to take it to a whole new level. The opportunity for a male mannequin was in Mannequin 2, but that time has passed. Everyone would just say you're copying Ghostbusters with the whole gender swap thing anyway.

 

I like the idea of bringing back Kim Cattrall and Kristy Swanson, but this time, we make it a revenge/horror movie. Instead of yet another romantic comedy using the same old gimmick, you have the two mannequins bring about the end of the world. They use the same magic that transformed them into mannequins to create their own mannequin army of doom.

 

It should end with all the headless, armless and legless mannequins coming to life and exacting their revenge on the human race. All the spare arms and legs would jump off their shelves and throttle their masters! The hand mannequins (handequins?) that are used for displaying jewelry and watches spring to life like Thing from The Addams Family! Our cities would be laid to waste! Our malls, no longer a refuge from the rampaging hordes! Oh, the humanity!

 

 

 

(Sorry, I just finished watching Re-Animator for the Canon. I think it's affected my brain.)

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One aspect of Jason's character that really bugged me was that he often seemed more interested in making Jessie feel or look stupid rather than actually helping her acclimate to her new reality. While I get having a store mannequin come to life in front of you would be a very jarring experience, his first instinct is to blast a fire extinguisher five inches from her face? What the fuck, man? Who would ever do that? I get it, you're trying to convince her that she's in the future, but maybe explain what that thing in your hand is first before you blast it right next next to her face. Shit, I know what a fire extinguisher does and I'd still jump if someone just picked one up in front of me and unexpectedly pulled the trigger.

 

And he does things like this to her repeatedly! He's so busy showing off "future" stuff, but he never takes the time to explain what it is or what it's used for--especially when it's something she might really need to know. For example, when they go to the club, she tells him she needs to, "go to the bushes" (i.e. go to the bathroom), but he never explains to her what a toilet even is! He just kind of lets her fend for herself. Is he thinking, "Well, if she runs to any problems she can just ask someone in the restroom?" And before you say, "I'm sure she's not so dumb that she can't figure out a toilet" I'd just like to remind you this is the same person, that in just the scene before, was eating the paper her food was wrapped in! I guess I'm willing to accept that she comes from a culture so primitive and backward that she's never heard of the concept of wrapping a thing inside another thing before, but by him already knowing that this is her base level of understanding, he really needed to give her some prep before just setting her loose.

 

And while I'm on the topic of the bathroom scene, I have two more things..

 

First, and this may be my "who wants to eat before trying on clothes" comment for this episode, but isn't sharing lipstick with a total rando kind of gross? I mean, unless you're a very close friend or relative, if I have some chapstick that you take from me and use, all I can say is, "Congratulations--you own that now."

 

And finally, did anyone else notice Jason poked his head into the the Ladies' Room he took a quick look around before ducking back out? Why are you even putting your head through the door. I believe the correct protocol in such a situation is to open the door with your back to the door and call over your shoulder. Ugh! That dude is such a creep!

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One aspect of Jason's character that really bugged me was that he often seemed more interested in making Jessie feel or look stupid rather than actually helping her acclimate to her new reality. While I get having a store mannequin come to life in front of you would be a very jarring experience, his first instinct is to blast a fire extinguisher five inches from her face? What the fuck, man? Who would ever do that? I get it, you're trying to convince her that she's in the future, but maybe explain what that thing in your hand is first before you blast it right next next to her face. Shit, I know what a fire extinguisher does and I'd still jump if someone just picked one up in front of me and unexpectedly pulled the trigger.

 

And he does things like this to her repeatedly! He's so busy showing off "future" stuff, but he never takes the time to explain what it is or what it's used for--especially when it's something she might really need to know. For example, when they go to the club, she tells him she needs to, "go to the bushes" (i.e. go to the bathroom), but he never explains to her what a toilet even is! He just kind of lets her fend for herself. Is he thinking, "Well, if she runs to any problems she can just ask someone in the restroom?" And before you say, "I'm sure she's not so dumb that she can't figure out a toilet" I'd just like to remind you this is the same person, that in just the scene before, was eating the paper her food was wrapped in! I guess I'm willing to accept that she comes from a culture so primitive and backward that she's never heard of the concept of wrapping a thing inside another thing before, but by him already knowing that this is her base level of understanding, he really needs to give her some prep before just setting her loose.

 

And while I'm on the topic of the bathroom scene, I have two more things..

 

First, and this may be my "who wants to eat before trying on clothes" comment for this episode, but isn't sharing lipstick with a total rando kind of gross? I mean, unless you're a very close friend or relative, if I have some chapstick that you take from me and use, all I can say is, "Congratulations--you own that now."

 

And finally, did anyone else notice Jason poked his head into the the Ladies' Room he took a quick look around before ducking back out? Why are you even putting your head through the door. I believe the correct protocol in such a situation is to open the door with your back to the door and call over your shoulder. Ugh! That dude is such a creep!

 

 

 

The best example of this is his fucking dancing in the nightclub. He's like "Come on keep up" and then proceeds to mash together a collection of the most random fucking dance moves. He jumps into the air russian dancer style and then just starts swinging his head around. No person, let alone a 1000+ year old enchanted peasant from a germanish village is going to be able to follow those nonsense dance moves.

 

And then she correctly called out his bullshit and told him it wasnt dancing and she's 100% right.

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june is on another period tonight if anyone is interested

And is totally unrecognizable.

 

CnMYergUMAAYmtP.jpg

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First, and this may be my "who wants to eat before trying on clothes" comment for this episode, but isn't sharing lipstick with a total rando kind of gross? I mean, unless you're a very close friend or relative, if I have some chapstick that you take from me and use, all I can say is, "Congratulations--you own that now."

I didn't react as it being totally gross but since they were legit strangers I can see that as being jarring, especially for guys lol. Lipstick sharing among friends is really not uncommon, but whenever I do it I usually dab it on a tissue before and after to spare each other some germs.

 

Speaking of that girl though, I LOVED HER! First of all I thought she was crazy cute so I was like wait no I want that girl to come back, but then when Jessie and Jason are dancing and they show her again giving Jessie the thumbs up I was practically screaming I loved that moment so much. LADIES HELPING OUT LADIES! GIVE ME MORE!!!

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Mannequin 3: King Tut, "The Maleiquin"

 

This idea pitched by the gang amused me at first but it wasn't until they started to talk about mannequin genitalia that I realized just how perfect it would be.

 

King Tut's mummy has had a string of genital-related hijinks that would make for comedy gold. First, he is the only known mummy to have been mummified with an erect penis. Then, sometime between 1922 and 1968, that mummified penis was broken off and thought lost... then it was rediscovered buried in the debris around the coffin in 2009. There's also speculation that the mummified member might not have been his penis at all and that it may have been to cover up a rare genetic disorder that caused underdeveloped genitals. Way more than you ever needed to know? Then just know that this wacky meet-cute, living mummy, erect penis, missing penis, and finally tiny penis comedic progression really writes itself. You're welcome Hollywood.

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I hate to break it to you all, but I'm not quite done talking about Mannequin Two...

 

After the cold open, we are introduced to Jason as he rushes to his first day of work at Prince & Co. Once he arrives, he is told to report to Mr. James. He does so, right as Mr. James Hollywood's current assistant is fired, and Jason is promptly given that position; however, I have some questions about this scene. First of all, Mr. James seems to have no knowledge of this new hire, which is fine as I'm sure he's a busy guy, but if Jason wasn't hired to work directly under him, why would be told to meet with him? Shouldn't he be reporting to HR or a department head? Won't the department he was hired to work for be upset that they to go through the expense and hassle of going through the hiring process all over again?

 

However this leads me to perhaps the bigger question: What exactly was Jason hired to do? I mean, he just shows up, is given a company credit card, and then is just sort of left to his own devices. The only reason he becomes Hollywood's assistant is because the person who had held that position literally just got fired five seconds before he showed up. Has anyone ever applied for a job and been hired without any prior knowledge of what that position actually is? Shouldn't he be like, "Actually, Mr. James, I'm your new accountant. I'm not exactly sure that I'm the best person to assist your Chief Officer in Charge of Visual Merchandising put on presentations for foreign dignitaries." This also makes me think: how pissed must have the other employees been to miss out on such a cush position? I know if I worked at Prince & Co, all I would want in the world is to work with Hollywood! You mean to tell me, after five long years of shilling your cheap, stank-ass, cologne, I don't even get a shot at that position because some chuckle head new hire just happened to be standing behind you when you shit-canned that other guy? Fuck you, Mr. James! I'm out!

 

If I understand correctly, Hollywood's assistant was fired for what, dropping a bunch of mannequin parts on the floor, thereby not following the rule "make a show place at the work place." Maybe Jason's new job as the assistant was making sure no random mannequin parts are accidentally thrown around on the floor? I really didn't see him doing anything else at work.

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And while I'm on the topic of the bathroom scene, I have two more things..

 

First, and this may be my "who wants to eat before trying on clothes" comment for this episode, but isn't sharing lipstick with a total rando kind of gross? I mean, unless you're a very close friend or relative, if I have some chapstick that you take from me and use, all I can say is, "Congratulations--you own that now."

 

It's kind of different when you can see who the stranger is compared to say, using a sample lipstick at a department store that countless unknown people have used. I think this trope of strangers/acquaintances lending cosmetics is not that uncommon TBH. One that comes to mind immediately for me is The Breakfast Club where towards the end,* Claire (Molly Ringwald) gives Allison (Ally Sheedy) a makeover. That was totally Claire's makeup, right? I guess they're not total strangers, but they only really met that day.

 

*Hopefully a spoiler tag was unnecessary; if you haven't seen this movie by now, may God have mercy on you.

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A couple of notes:

 

1) Everyone on the episode seemed to think that when Jason dove into the river after the truck crash he was trying to save a mannequin. But this is not the case. He sees the three Germans hanging out of the truck when it starts to fall off the bridge, and then sees the mannequin fall in. But he thinks it is a woman - he says "I'll save you!" He doesn't realize she's a mannequin until he finds her at the bottom of the river. When he brings her out of the water he says "I could have sworn she was real! She's a ... mannequin!" So he wasn't trying to save a mannequin, he literally thought an alive human woman fell out of the truck.

 

2) June mentioned the three guys that go into the nightclub all hunched over. When the bouncer lets them in he calls them "the crab dudes". I don't know why they would have to hunch over to be like a crab, but they do shuffle a bit when they walk. Was this a fad in the late 80s/early 90s, to go to nightclubs walking like crabs?

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double post anddd i don't even know if it's kosher to post stuff like this here (?? ^^), but I couldn't stop thinking about this episode all day at work so once i finally got home, i had to get something out about it- tumblr_oaa8d5w4iA1sdwd5so1_1280.png

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double post anddd i don't even know if it's kosher to post stuff like this here (?? ^^), but I couldn't stop thinking about this episode all day at work so once i finally got home, i had to get something out about it- tumblr_oaa8d5w4iA1sdwd5so1_1280.png

I AM OBSESSED!!!!!!!

 

tumblr_o7uplmaJ131qiix60o1_1280.gif

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1) Everyone on the episode seemed to think that when Jason dove into the river after the truck crash he was trying to save a mannequin. But this is not the case. He sees the three Germans hanging out of the truck when it starts to fall off the bridge, and then sees the mannequin fall in. But he thinks it is a woman - he says "I'll save you!" He doesn't realize she's a mannequin until he finds her at the bottom of the river. When he brings her out of the water he says "I could have sworn she was real! She's a ... mannequin!" So he wasn't trying to save a mannequin, he literally thought an alive human woman fell out of the truck.

 

I tried to point this out earlier, but was rejected. I'm not gonna lie. It hurt.

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I tried to point this out earlier, but was rejected. I'm not gonna lie. It hurt.

Oh shit sorry sometimes my black heart with limited feelings shines through

 

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So there has rightly been plenty of talk about a follow-up film. Whatever the name, surely that should happen.

 

But what has not been discussed is what should be obvious to us all: the Mannequin / Doctor Who crossover.

 

Is there any doubt that the mannequins of Mannequin and Mannequin : On The Move have some sort of relationship with the weeping angels of the Whoverse? Time travel goes a long way to explain how the mannequins have stayed in such excellent shape over centuries.

 

This leaves us with questions that need to be addressed. Among them:

  1. Are the mannequins a more primitive form of weeping angel? More advanced? A related, but different species?
  2. Are the mannequins good or simply biding their time?
  3. Are the weeping angels embittered mannequins who - in their failure to find true love (they are described as being the loneliest beings in the universe) - have turned to feeding off of potential energy but cannot bring themselves to kill?

Somebody call a doctor.

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I feel like if there was going to be a third Mannequin movie about a male mannequin coming to life, it should 100% be Titus Burgess as Hollywood falling in love with the bronze Captain America statue thats being made for Brooklyn.

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