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Transformers (2007)

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Ok, so I know that 2 was way worse and 3 was between 1 and 2, but I want to put it out there that the first one was a heaping pile of dogshit too. None of it makes any damn sense.

So, all the Decepticons are after Sam to get his glasses as they have the location of the Allspark etched on them. Well, how does anyone know that? And how do they know he has them?! And how many plot devices hinge on Sam needing a car??!?! ie. Meeting Bumblebee and actually putting the glasses on eBay. If he hadn't we'd all be f***ed, I presume.

But here's the worst part. Wouldn't the glasses point the Allspark location to Antarctica? Hasn't the gov already moved it to Nevada? And somehow at the end they all just head there anyway.

But the final affront is one I never understood... why when they started fighting the Decepticons in the desert did they LEAD THEM INTO THE CITY?!?! That makes no sense!!

Plus all the robots look like total shit, and you can rarely tell who is who. Jazz looks awful, Bumblebee is ridiculous (and why can't they repair his voice?!? Plus it gets fixed at the end, but is broken by the next movie - ARGHGH!!!), but Starscream just looks like a chicken. They took the coolest character and made him a snivelling bird like creature.

Damn you Michael Bay!!! You must be stopped.

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