Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×
Sign in to follow this  
jmongol

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)

Recommended Posts

I'll let the Wikipedia entry do the talking:

"Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is a 2001 cult film from Odessa Filmworks which deals with Jesus' modern-day struggle to protect the lesbians of Ottawa, Canada, from vampires with the help of Mexican wrestler El Santo."

"The movie begins with Jesus Christ sitting on a beach relaxing and comparing the kingdom of God to a sand castle. He meets up with El Santo and a woman named Mary Magnum. Together they fight lesbian-killing vampires. Jesus fights with mixed martial arts skills and uses his carpentry skills to create weapons with which to slay vampires."

This movie is incredible. It's also a musical (sort of) and totally worth the watch.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Christ_Vampire_Hunter
http://www.odessafilmworks.com/jcvh/index.html

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

I feel the need to vocally support this suggestion. This legitimately has some of the best one-liners ("I'm...everywhere!"), oddest settings (the "Lesbian Drop-Off Center") worst/longest fight scenes (JC vs. The Athiests), and most inexplicable romances ever filmed, not to mention arguably the most hilarious closing theme music of all time. Absolutely a bad movie, and absolutely worth watching.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

It's wayyyyy too obscure for this show, I'd guess.

 

I did have one of the lines from this film as my ringtone for ages - "We're running low on skin. I suggest we harvest another lesbian!"

Share this post


Link to post

If you showed Birdemic, you HAVE to show this film. A few points:

 

Jesus with wooden stakes

a Luchador sidekick

lesbian vampires

"Mary Magnum"

 

I rest my case.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Another note: I will ship you my DVD copy if you review this movie.

 

Please, do not return it.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I seem to have found the trailer for it. too bad it's not a musical :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LRIypcaIX4

 

Btw the full movie is on you tube lets keep it our little secret!

 

As for the film, it looks really home made. it's no

.

 

When I was done watching this trailer at the end it recommend to me

.
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Haha, awesome. There's actually a comic called Loaded Bible: Jesus vs Vampires which is preeeetty fun. Definitely recommend if you're the comic reading type.

Share this post


Link to post

Haha, awesome. There's actually a comic called Loaded Bible: Jesus vs Vampires which is preeeetty fun. Definitely recommend if you're the comic reading type.

On a related note, I suggest checking out "Battle Pope", one of the earliest works by Robert Kirkman of "Walking Dead" fame!

Share this post


Link to post

I would really like to see a sequel where Jesus and Abe Lincoln team up to hunt all of the vampires everywhere.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Yes, GOOD. This movie is magnificent. Jesus singing a piano-heavy jazz number while leading his flock on a skateboard alone is worth watching, to say nothing of the over-the-top foley effects, the corny fight scenes, and El Santo romancing a vampire by telling her "you have pinned my heart to the mat", a surefire pick-up line I use to this day.

 

Every inch of Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is a godamn delight.

Share this post


Link to post
Sign in to follow this  

×