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SeaSkunk

Episode 175 - Ultraviolet: LIVE!

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While the biohazard symbol-shaped building was mentioned, the podcast didn't really go into just how impractical such a design would be, particularly the sharp corners at the edges of the crescents:

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Wouldn't it be super awkward if your cubicle was in the narrow space at the very tip? How far do hallways and stairwells/elevators extend to the end? Don't the sharp curves put unnecessary strain on the structure?

 

There are real-life buildings in the shape of a sharp wedge, like the Flatiron Building in New York City, but they're usually built at intersections where the angles of intersecting streets is an external constraint.

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But the biohazard-symbol building is on a solid foundation with empty space between the buildings that isn't being used for anything! There aren't even skyway bridges connecting the main building with the three smaller buildings inside.

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The impracticality of the villain's nose plugs was discussed, but was I the only one who was getting flashbacks to nasal equipment that adds to the lack of menace in another infamous bad movie?

 

uVUf2nZ.png

 

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Cynthia Rothrock

Ziyi Zhang

Michelle Rodriguez

Grace Jones

Bridgette Nielson

Rothrock and Nielson were in a female Expendable type film called Mercenaries with Zoe Bell, Vivica A Fox, and Kristanna Loken.

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For me, one of the more ridiculous moments was when Violet drives to the ArchMinistry to demand the antidote from Daxus. She drives wildly through the (surprisingly) empty streets of Future City, skids to a dramatic stop about 30 yards from Daxus, opens the door to the car with a dramatic flourish - brandishing her sword and gun - and has a long, low volume conversation with Daxus which ends with him and his soldiers shooting the shit out of her car. It's at this point that we learn (uh-oh!), she was a hologram the whole time! Whoa there, movie. Let's examine this logically.

 

First of all, sure, I can buy a self-driving car. We already have them. No big deal. However, what I do have a problem with is that there would be a pre-programmed setting that allows for casual stunt driving through city streets.

 

Next, her goddamn hologram opens the door! Let me just repeat that. Her hologram...opens a door. An intangible image...interacts with a physical object. And, yes, I have considered that, perhaps, the self-driving car might have automatic doors, but that means two things: A) that, again, these cars have a very specific "I'm pissed off and want this door to fling open dramatically" setting, and B ) she would have had to reherse that exit at least a couple of times to make it look believable. This also means, since this is a hologram and not some prerecorded simulation, that when she flourishes that sword and gun as she exits the car, she was across the street acting all this shit out - which is straight up bananas to imagine. Did she really think, "If I don't leap out of this car like a spasmatic psychopath, they're not going to buy my charade?"

 

Which brings me to the conversation itself. How are they even talking to one another? Daxus is nearly a hundred feet away from her! The phone is in the car. So you're telling me that he can speak at a normal volume, in a windy courtyard, and she's receiving him loud and clear? How is her voice being projected? Certainly not through a fucking hologram. Am I supposed to believe that that stupid, card stock cellphone is capable of cranking out some eardrum decimating decibles? I have a hard time believing any consumer advocacy groups would allow that.

 

And finally, what's even the fucking point? She goes there, demands the antidote, and...then what? She already knows he's surrounded by guards at the ArchMinistry. She walks away from that conversation having gained absolutely nothing - at least not anything that would help her tactically or strategically. And what if her threats had worked? It's not like the hologram would be able to take the antidote. So dumb.

 

This movie was the worst!

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I'm curious if anyone else thinks that the biohazard symbols all over this are an intentional reference to Resident Evil. The Resident Evil games are called Biohazard in Japan. The Resident Evil movies all star Milla Jovovich. The writer/director wrote the movie specifically with Milla Jovovoich in mind.

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I'm curious if anyone else thinks that the biohazard symbols all over this are an intentional reference to Resident Evil. The Resident Evil games are called Biohazard in Japan. The Resident Evil movies all star Milla Jovovich. The writer/director wrote the movie specifically with Milla Jovovoich in mind.

A few years I remember going to USJ (Universal Studios Japan) for their Halloween celebrations. They always had a section of the park made into Raccoon city and had Resident Evil/Biohazard characters and monsters about. Then they started doing an attraction there called "Biohazard the Real" in which you were given a laser gun and walked about a haunted house shooting at people dressed as zombies. Unfortunately a lot of people just called it "real biohazard" which made for an awkward moment when I first heard of it and was asked "there is a real biohazard at USJ, do you want to go?"

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I'm curious if anyone else thinks that the biohazard symbols all over this are an intentional reference to Resident Evil. The Resident Evil games are called Biohazard in Japan. The Resident Evil movies all star Milla Jovovich. The writer/director wrote the movie specifically with Milla Jovovoich in mind.

That's funny, because Resident Evil VII is subtitled "Biohazard" ... wonder if it's called "Biohazard VII: Biohazard" in Japan.

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That's funny, because Resident Evil VII is subtitled "Biohazard" ... wonder if it's called "Biohazard VII: Biohazard" in Japan.

You'll like this, they went super meta it's called "Biohazard 7: Resident Evil"

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Tangent: I legit thought that the whole Q-Bert/Gad Pixels ending was a bit... but they were so serious and it kept going for so long, I had to check. IT'S REAL!? HOW IN THE HELL IS THAT REAL?

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You'll like this, they went super meta it's called "Biohazard 7: Resident Evil"

Because of course they did. I should've guessed.

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There are two more comic covers in the opening credits scene that are worth mentioning.

 

First there is one that read "Violet taken down by the yakuza? Total bushido!!! Your triad is strong Arthur Wong Ngok Tai, H.K.S.C. but stack againt V and you're wong... dead wong" For starters those are two horrible puns. The first one just makes no sense and the later is just racist. Also the yakuza are Japanese and the triads are Chinese. They are two separate organized crime groups, so is she fighting them both at the same time and why is she fighting them they have nothing to do with Daxus and his system?

 

The next is the one that has Japanese and reads "Transcendental robot army violet battle" and "Colonel's burning kingdom." Now all that sounds like gibberish and that's because that's what it is. However, what if they just screwed up their Japanese? What if all those guys in black that violet fights and that work for Daxus are actually robots. Or maybe they are trying to say that Violet is actually a robot. It would explain a lot like her changing hair, her perfect aim, her lighting fast reflexes, living past the lifespan of disease victims, and her hatred of humans.

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There are two more comic covers in the opening credits scene that are worth mentioning.

 

First there is one that read "Violet taken down by the yakuza? Total bushido!!! Your triad is strong Arthur Wong Ngok Tai, H.K.S.C. but stack againt V and you're wong... dead wong" For starters those are two horrible puns. The first one just makes no sense and the later is just racist. Also the yakuza are Japanese and the triads are Chinese. They are two separate organized crime groups, so is she fighting them both at the same time and why is she fighting them they have nothing to do with Daxus and his system?

 

The next is the one that has Japanese and reads "Transcendental robot army violet battle" and "Colonel's burning kingdom." Now all that sounds like gibberish and that's because that's what it is. However, what if they just screwed up their Japanese? What if all those guys in black that violet fights and that work for Daxus are actually robots. Or maybe they are trying to say that Violet is actually a robot. It would explain a lot like her changing hair, her perfect aim, her lighting fast reflexes, living past the lifespan of disease victims, and her hatred of humans.

 

You know I appreciate lame puns, but even I groaned when I read "total bushido." Plus, as you mentioned, it doesn't wok work at all.

 

I could see the henchmen turning out to be robots, because early in the movie, when Violet fights a group of them, they shatter as if they were made of iPhone screens. If they were humans, why would their armor be made of such fragile material?

 

A few more things. Violet says that she was "born into a world you may not understand" a couple of times throughout the movie. I could be mistaken, but wasn't she born into a normal world? It sounded like the whole hemophage outbreak happened when her husband (?) pricked his finger against a glass microscope slide and infected Violet when she was pregnant?

 

Also, she says that the trouble began when a weapons lab discovered an obscure virus that had been around for centuries. Well, if it was so obscure, how did they know it had been around for centuries? Also, she explains that this virus was being modified to create faster and stronger soldiers. How would this exactly work? She later refers to this virus as a "hemoglophagic" virus, which suggests it destroys the hemoglobin, which is responsible for carrying oxygen. With less hemoglobin, these soldiers would experience symptoms of anemia. Wouldn't they become slower and weaker instead?

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You know I appreciate lame puns, but even I groaned when I read "total bushido." Plus, as you mentioned, it doesn't wok work at all.

 

I could see the henchmen turning out to be robots, because early in the movie, when Violet fights a group of them, they shatter as if they were made of iPhone screens. If they were humans, why would their armor be made of such fragile material?

 

A few more things. Violet says that she was "born into a world you may not understand" a couple of times throughout the movie. I could be mistaken, but wasn't she born into a normal world? It sounded like the whole hemophage outbreak happened when her husband (?) pricked his finger against a glass microscope slide and infected Violet when she was pregnant?

 

Also, she says that the trouble began when a weapons lab discovered an obscure virus that had been around for centuries. Well, if it was so obscure, how did they know it had been around for centuries? Also, she explains that this virus was being modified to create faster and stronger soldiers. How would this exactly work? She later refers to this virus as a "hemoglophagic" virus, which suggests it destroys the hemoglobin, which is responsible for carrying oxygen. With less hemoglobin, these soldiers would experience symptoms of anemia. Wouldn't they become slower and weaker instead?

She was born into a normal-ish world. There is that whole made up Asian country, people and language. There is also the whole issue of technology. Who knows if inter-dimension swords, anti-gravity belts and paper phones were things before or after the outbreak. You could argue that even since IMDB trivia admits that nobody knows how the anti-gravity stuff works, they themselves live in a world that they too don't fully understand.

 

The guy that discovered this ancient virus was not her husband but was Daxus. Her husband caught it some other way and passed it on to her. Speaking on Daxus getting it via slide, how? The blood sample is in the middle of the slide. He cut his finger on the corner of the slide, where did the cross contamination come from? The blood was nowhere near the corner and you'd think after cutting his finger he'd get that taken care of immediately or at least bandage it up before handling more samples.

 

Also if the hemophege disease has been around for centuries and it is so contagious that you have to wear masks, nose filters, drink sealed water, etc. how was there never an major outbreak before? If it's that bad it should have been wiping out entire villages for centuries. If the shortened life span, super speed and strength and that were results of the "enhanced" disease what were the original symptoms? Fangs and that's it?

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She was born into a normal-ish world. There is that whole made up Asian country, people and language. There is also the whole issue of technology. Who knows if inter-dimension swords, anti-gravity belts and paper phones were things before or after the outbreak. You could argue that even since IMDB trivia admits that nobody knows how the anti-gravity stuff works, they themselves live in a world that they too don't fully understand.

 

The guy that discovered this ancient virus was not her husband but was Daxus. Her husband caught it some other way and passed it on to her. Speaking on Daxus getting it via slide, how? The blood sample is in the middle of the slide. He cut his finger on the corner of the slide, where did the cross contamination come from? The blood was nowhere near the corner and you'd think after cutting his finger he'd get that taken care of immediately or at least bandage it up before handling more samples.

 

So Violet knows her world and our world are different and she also knows that we exist? Whoa.

 

Ohhh I was totally confused about the lab tech who pricked his finger. I somehow missed that was Daxus, not Violet's husband.

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Was anybody else bothered by just how much the opening theme music sounded almost exactly like Danny Elfman's original Spider-Man theme? I mean, Jesus.

 

 

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Near the end of the movie there is a moment where Violet notices her hand is gushing blood. I'm not sure exactly what happened to her, and I really don't care enough to try and find out, but the wound looks pretty bad. Anyway, she looks at this gaping wound for a moment, fires her weapon for about three seconds, and presses the gun barrel into her hand. There is a sizzling sound and she screams in pain.

 

Now, there's not an exact temperature one would need to cauterize a wound, except to say - the worse the wound, the more heat required. In this instance, I would argue that her wound looks pretty significant, and the fact that her skin actually sizzles, tells me that it's pretty fucking hot, so..... I don't know, guys.

 

Sure the guns are cool and all, but I just feel like carrying around firearms capable of generating enough heat to cauterize a wound after only a short burst is kind of crazy. There's just too much of a chance that you're going to seriously burn yourself or someone else. And what if Six accidentally gets a hold of it? Why doesn't anyone ever think about the children?

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Near the end of the movie there is a moment where Violet notices her hand is gushing blood. I'm not sure exactly what happened to her, and I really don't care enough to try and find out, but the wound looks pretty bad. Anyway, she looks at this gaping wound for a moment, fires her weapon for about three seconds, and presses the gun barrel into her hand. There is a sizzling sound and she screams in pain.

 

Oh I actually remember this. During her fight, she breaks a sword and uses one of the fragments to stab people. Her hand gets badly cut from grabbing the sword fragment. Proving that her gloves are more fashion than protection.

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At the risk of given this teaming tureen of turds too much credit, I do think I have an in-universe explanation for the dreadlocked and rat-tailed vampires.

 

Historically, one of the benefits of having short hair in the military is to prevent exactly what happens in this movie. Long hair is incredibly grabable. It makes absolutely no sense to provide your opponent such an easily exploited weakness.

 

The fact that these specific hemophages have allowed their hair to grow so long speaks volumes about who they are, or at least, who they're supposed to be. If this were a video game, these dudes would be the boss battle. Their hairlength implies a confidence in their lethality that should be terrifying. It’s a way of getting into their opponent’s head. It’s saying, “I’m so deadly I can afford to be reckless.”

 

This also means, by the Transitive Law of Buttkicking, that by defeating them, Violet is even more badass.

 

They only reason I’m not difinitvely asserting that this is what’s happening as it assumes a level of consideration and competance that's not really evident in the rest of the film. I’m sure that the director just thought the hair fight would “look cool,” but if he ever wants to use my theory in the future, he’s welcome to it. ;)

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My favourite bit of "Ultraviolet" trivia courtesy IMDB:

 

Milla Jovovich has disowned the film.

Did anyone listen to the commentary on the DVD? Milla Jovovich did it and I'd really love to hear her speak about it if this is her opinion.

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Look, I'm not trying to give this bubbling bucket bilious boogers too much credit, but I do think there's something interesting about Violet's name, specifically, her full name -Violet Song Jat Sharif. It's an oddly specific name and I wondered what it's significance was.

 

The most obvious thing to note is the multiculturalism of her name. Violet is European; Song can be either Korean or Chinese; Jat is from North Indian/Afghanistan; and Sharif is Arabic. Considering most names - particularly middle names - are family names, it suggests that Violet has a pretty diverse background. What I'm not sure of, though, is this whether this diversity is specific to her or whether it is indicative of society as a whole. If the latter, I suppose that gives us some reassurance that - despite the constant threat of pathogenic hemophages - society has finally come together and gotten over its petty bigotry.

 

I also found the specific names to be interesting. For instance, Violet and Song seem to invoke delicacy and grace - representing both aural and visual beauty. On the other hand, according to Wikipedia, "Jat" seems to refer to an "ethnic group of itinerant travelers found in Afghanistan." The name is apparently derogatory term and wouldn't be used by the people themselves. Wikipedia explains that it would be the equivalent of calling Romany "Gypsies." And finally, in contrast to that, "Sharif" is an Arabic name that means "highborn" or "noble."

 

So, basically, when you put all her names together, she is a "nomadic Queen full of beauty and grace."

 

I'm starting to think that this guy is whatever the opposite of an idiot savant might be. A genius dilettante?

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The most obvious thing to note is the multiculturalism of her name. Violet is European; Song can be either Korean or Chinese; Jat is from North Indian/Afghanistan; and Sharif is Arabic.

 

River-Hello-Sweetie-doctor-who-32811305-245-250.gif

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Look, I'm not trying to give this bubbling bucket bilious boogers too much credit, but I do think there's something interesting about Violet's name, specifically, her full name -Violet Song Jat Sharif. It's an oddly specific name and I wondered what it's significance was.

 

The most obvious thing to note is the multiculturalism of her name. Violet is European; Song can be either Korean or Chinese; Jat is from North Indian/Afghanistan; and Sharif is Arabic. Considering most names - particularly middle names - are family names, it suggests that Violet has a pretty diverse background. What I'm not sure of, though, is this whether this diversity is specific to her or whether it is indicative of society as a whole. If the latter, I suppose that gives us some reassurance that - despite the constant threat of pathogenic hemophages - society has finally come together and gotten over its petty bigotry.

 

I also found the specific names to be interesting. For instance, Violet and Song seem to invoke delicacy and grace - representing both aural and visual beauty. On the other hand, according to Wikipedia, "Jat" seems to refer to an "ethnic group of itinerant travelers found in Afghanistan." The name is apparently derogatory term and wouldn't be used by the people themselves. Wikipedia explains that it would be the equivalent of calling Romany "Gypsies." And finally, in contrast to that, "Sharif" is an Arabic name that means "highborn" or "noble."

 

So, basically, when you put all her names together, she is a "nomadic Queen full of beauty and grace."

 

I'm starting to think that this guy is whatever the opposite of an idiot savant might be. A genius dilettante?

Makes me wonder if she took her husband's name or if that is her maiden name.

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