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LaKeishaShurn

So, did you watch Trespass? Cause I did!

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Just watched Trespass, or should I say - I just yelled at my tv and put it on time out. I can't begin to to tell you how or what is wrong with that. For starters, why is everyone running down the stairs? If you intend to rob someone, why do you take off your mask? Who the fuck took credit for the back ground plot? Seriously, no spoilers - Am I the only one who notice huge missing senes from the story line? Especially at the beginning when Nicole Kidman is running out the house....did anyone see that? PLEASE CHECK THAT SHIT OUT!

 

There is a point where there's just too many cooks in the kitchen. I could have done without the coked up hottie and the random party with the lame-ass extras from an American Idol audition. I never got up or left from my seating position, but I may as well have gone down stairs and made a pie! Where did the fucking plot go? I know NOTHING about how to make a movie, and neither did these guys. Its just as Paul said, since this is adapted (and I use that term very freely) from spain, perhaps it was in spanish and this was all the writers could put together. Holy Snikies! This looks like a term paper that you had two months to turn in and you were like, "oh yeah, I got time". Suddenly, you wake up from your drunken haze and its two days before its due and you're stuffing different points-of-view from your friends off of Facebook and trying to formate something.

 

Am I missing anything?

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I didn't think it was as bat-shit insane as other films the gang endured. The problem here was that they needlessly tried to connect everything and failed. Oh and the other problem was that the writers seemed to not know where they wanted to story to go. I think they tried to make "plot twists" but the twists weren't strong enough to warrant the effort.

 

This was not Ridiculous Cage, this was Nicholas wants an easy check Cage. That's just a waste of Cage if you ask me.

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This is 2 movies. The first movie is about Nick Cage being some sort of badass diamond dealer or something, and he gets held hostage by bandits and tries to talk his way out of it.

 

The second movie is some weird ass story about a bunch of meth heads trying to pull off a poorly written Oceans 11 heist at the behest of some mystery man, and is interwoven with a bunch of character development of the bad guys that nobody cares about, and weird flashback scenes in all white like we are watching Enya videos peppered in throught a gritty crime movie. Nevermind that everything the movie alludes to turns out to be false, and the movie has no real ending.

 

Its no wonder Nic Cage wanted to switch roles midway through the movie. In the first half he's unhinged and mechanical in his thoughts as he tries to out mind duel the bandits.... but in the second half he is horrendously emasculated and is reduced to a sniveling, whimpering salaryman (who is an unemployed failed father/husband that can't provide and makes up some nonsensically outrageous lies to hide his inadequacy from his family) while the wife and daughter take on bigger roles.

 

Yeah, I woulda asked for a role change, too. I wonder if he accepted this job without reading the script, and then got to that scene on the day of the shoot and was like "Oh man, THIS is what happens to my guy??? Thats not cool at all..."

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This is 2 movies. The first movie is about Nick Cage being some sort of badass diamond dealer or something, and he gets held hostage by bandits and tries to talk his way out of it.

 

The second movie is some weird ass story about a bunch of meth heads trying to pull off a poorly written Oceans 11 heist at the behest of some mystery man, and is interwoven with a bunch of character development of the bad guys that nobody cares about, and weird flashback scenes in all white like we are watching Enya videos peppered in throught a gritty crime movie. Nevermind that everything the movie alludes to turns out to be false, and the movie has no real ending.

 

And the first movie fails as a thriller because of the second movie. At no point during this film did I think the thieves would be successful. Their main motivation during this film is the speed with which they execute the robbery, yet they spend all kinds of time dickin' around askin' for codes that everyone knows they already have. Then there's the crackhead chick who immediately goes upstairs and starts trying on dresses and ashing cigarette butts in the carpet, leaving DNA of several makes and models around the room. And then of course, there was the robber who fucked Nicole Kidman's character and THEN WEARS THE MOST REVEALING MASK OF ALL THE ROBBERS. They did too much stupid shit right outta the gate for this movie to succeed as a thriller. Furthermore, the family are such shitty people that you don't really care about what happens to them.

 

All in all, it certainly is a crappy film, but probably one of the more bearable ones to be featured on HDTGM (Birdemic is extremely fresh in my mind which makes everything else look like 2001: A Space Odyssey by comparison, so I could be giving trespass too much credit.)

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How terrible were those orangey/pinky sunglasses Cage was rockin at the beginning though? I was like, "don't even try to make us think he's a bad ass."

 

The word "leverage" brought me unwillingly and unhappily back to Battlefield Earth.

 

By the time the twist ending came where the brosef just ended up being crazy and never ended up fucking Nicole Kidman, I was like "whoooooo cares???"

 

This movie sucked.

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