Episode 221. The Hottie and the Nottie

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

Description: 

Recorded live from Charleston, South Carolina, Paul, June, and Jason discuss the 2008 romantic comedy The Hottie and the Nottie starring Paris Hilton. They talk about June auditioning for the role of the Nottie, earth suits, the stalker, farts, and much more.

This episode is brought to you by Bombas (www.bombas.com/BONKERS), World of Warcraft Classic (www.wowclassic.com/howdidthisgetmade), and Starbucks Triple Shot Energy Drink.

Subscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: http://www.earwolf.com/show/unspooled/

Check out our tour dates over at www.hdtgminfo.com!

Check out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepubli…wdidthisgetmade

Where to Find Jason, June & Paul:

@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter

@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on twitter

 

 

 

 

it is still very early here on the East Coast but my neighbor kept me up by watching very loud movies and I will murder him eventually. 

 

I didnt watch this movie and I am so glad after listening to this episode. It sounds like it was written by incels. Maybe it originated on 8chan.  There is a huge problem with media in our society where men EXPECT to be able to date a woman like Paris Hilton just for being. They don’t have to be smart or funny or earn a “high status” mate (and here I would point out that there is an issue with a woman being hot and dumb—which is her persona, I have never met her—as being that “thing” that every man wants). 

i would like to believe there was another version of the script where the main guy ends up with June, and it was about realizing looks don’t matter, and that perhaps the studio decided he had to end up with Paris Hilton if it’s a Paris Hilton movie. That is perhaps the nicest thing I can think to say. 

I’d also like to point out that the actress who did get the role of June, was on the TGIF show “Step-by-Step” and I thought she was gorgeous. The fact that they can’t even find an average looking person to give those teeth to is a scathing indictment of how Hollywood treats women in and of itself. They don’t exist in Hollywood’s world. 

 

ETA: did anyone have a crush in 1st grade? That seems to early to me. Isn’t there a thing where people who are molested are sexual too young? Could that be what is happening? 

[Cameron H. 23786]

Awww, motherfucker, Elektra!  Great minds think alike!

(Dan, could you please delete my superfluous thread?)

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

How are you today, Cameron?

[Cameron H. 23786]

16 minutes ago, Elektra Boogaloo said:

How are you today, Cameron?

I’m doing well, Elektra. How are you?  

[gigi-tastic 2322]

I haven't finished the movie yet but I need to write Gloria Steinem a personal letter of apology and donate to the Geena David Institute on Gender in Media like NOW.  The shame and more importantly THE RAGE I feel as a woman and an intersectional feminist! Ooooh boy!

[gigi-tastic 2322]

2 hours ago, Elektra Boogaloo said:

Description: 

Recorded live from Charleston, South Carolina, Paul, June, and Jason discuss the 2008 romantic comedy The Hottie and the Nottie starring Paris Hilton. They talk about June auditioning for the role of the Nottie, earth suits, the stalker, farts, and much more.

This episode is brought to you by Bombas (www.bombas.com/BONKERS), World of Warcraft Classic (www.wowclassic.com/howdidthisgetmade), and Starbucks Triple Shot Energy Drink.

Subscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: http://www.earwolf.com/show/unspooled/

Check out our tour dates over at www.hdtgminfo.com!

Check out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepubli…wdidthisgetmade

Where to Find Jason, June & Paul:

@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter

@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on twitter

 

 

 

 

it is still very early here on the East Coast but my neighbor kept me up by watching very loud movies and I will murder him eventually. 

 

I didnt watch this movie and I am so glad after listening to this episode. It sounds like it was written by incels. Maybe it originated on 8chan.  There is a huge problem with media in our society where men EXPECT to be able to date a woman like Paris Hilton just for being. They don’t have to be smart or funny or earn a “high status” mate (and here I would point out that there is an issue with a woman being hot and dumb—which is her persona, I have never met her—as being that “thing” that every man wants). 

i would like to believe there was another version of the script where the main guy ends up with June, and it was about realizing looks don’t matter, and that perhaps the studio decided he had to end up with Paris Hilton if it’s a Paris Hilton movie. That is perhaps the nicest thing I can think to say. 

I’d also like to point out that the actress who did get the role of June, was on the TGIF show “Step-by-Step” and I thought she was gorgeous. The fact that they can’t even find an average looking person to give those teeth to is a scathing indictment of how Hollywood treats women in and of itself. They don’t exist in Hollywood’s world. 

 

ETA: did anyone have a crush in 1st grade? That seems to early to me. Isn’t there a thing where people who are molested are sexual too young? Could that be what is happening? 

I love this! I do feel men like women like Paris who let themselves be viewed as dumb and blank canvases for them to fill in the details of what they think that the woman really is. They enjoy having the ability to see what they want. I just finished this and June does end up with the main love interest. Unfortunately as you mentioned she goes through truly painful procedures in order for him to see her as a viable person worthy of love. I actually didn't hate Paris' character in this. She very clearly cared for her friend, they have a deep close bond. She looks out for her, multiple times she tried to say she was uncomfortable with the situation and felt her boyfriend was pushing things. She works for a non profit and is passionate about yoga and fitness.  When it comes to her friend's transformation She feels supportive because she thinks she wants it  and isn't like forcing her. She has some layers. Not many because this movie is a hellscape written by Nice Guys but she's not The Worst. She even is happy when her boyfriend leaves her for her friend because she wants her to be happy.

[grudlian. 4725]

What Mario game was the creepy friend playing? It kind of looked like New Super Mario Bros but that wasn't on a console when this movie came out. It was clearly playing Super Mario Bros 1 music. It kind of looked like he was using a Gamecube controller.

[gigi-tastic 2322]

you know your movie had a fuckboi when the opening scene with a woman smashing a guitar over a man's head has you screaming "YAS GIRL!"

I'm a bisexual woman and watching this movie I came to realize that Paris and June should have ended up together and had the only healthy relationship in the film. They lived together, have a deep close relationship between the two and have for years, care about the others happiness and want the best for the other / support them. They belong together! I don't think Paris would have ever needed June to change her appearance. I think she supported her friend for her friend's sake but I truly think she loves her just fine. They are so clearly in a sapphic relationship and if this movie wasn't written by incel Nice Guys I would love to see that explored. Except not because watching Paris Hilton act is far too painful. But the story of women constantly being sexualized by the male gaze while in a committed same sex relationship is nothing new.  The optics can get worse on both sides if the woman is bisexual, pansexual, or queer like I am reading Paris's character to be.  Then both lesbians and men judge you as not being one thing truly. Men tend to try to " turn " you regardless whereas some lesbians just refuse to have anything to do with you. 

[gigi-tastic 2322]

I'm just going to put this out there as a single woman who refuses to settle. Buy a great vibrator and never feel unsatisfied in life.  I am still haunted by that man and his poor poor wife. Love yourself ladies metaphorically and literally.

[i'll hold the mike 165]

The Hottie & The Nottie comes in at #4 on the HDTGM least profitable movies list. It joins The Room, Gooby, and Deadfall in the list of movies that made less than 1% of their budget back at the box office. Oof magoof!

I've updated the HDTGM info site with the most recent stats, along with an update of graph code. There are three new info graphs: the least expensive movies (because why not), movies covered the soonest after their release, and cities hosting live shows. I've been wanting to do something with the live show location data, so this is a first stab at showing it.

[Cameron H. 23786]

4 hours ago, Elektra Boogaloo said:

did anyone have a crush in 1st grade?

I had a crush in maybe 1st or 2nd grade, but it certainly wasn’t sexual. We just made each other laugh at school and I thought she was pretty.

I do not keep a picture of her in my dresser. That’s creepy-crazy!

[doxrus 54]

I've survived through so many awful films, but I couldn't stomach this one after about 15 minutes, and had to turn it off. The misogyny and overdetermination of June's "ugliness" was just too much to bear.  And - who the hell holds a torch for their first grade crush, not having seen them since then? Is this guy so pathetic and out of ideas that his best plan is to chase after someone from elementary school? 

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

3 hours ago, gigi-tastic said:

I actually didn't hate Paris' character in this. She very clearly cared for her friend, they have a deep close bond. She looks out for her, multiple times she tried to say she was uncomfortable with the situation and felt her boyfriend was pushing things. She works for a non profit and is passionate about yoga and fitness.  When it comes to her friend's transformation She feels supportive because she thinks she wants it  and isn't like forcing her. She has some layers. Not many because this movie is a hellscape written by Nice Guys but she's not The Worst. She even is happy when her boyfriend leaves her for her friend because she wants her to be happy.

I have a kind of third hand Paris Hilton story. As you guys know, I work in book publishing. Many years ago, Paris came out with a book that was very pink and shiny. I believe it was mostly pictures. Now, this is going to shock you. But she didn't write the book. In fact, most celebrities doesn't write their own books. They have ghostwriters for that. (I believe there was some internet meme a couple years ago about a sports guy--?--who was asked about stuff in his autobiography and he said he didn't read it.)

But I was told (and again, I have no actual proof of this so it might not be good for the mini): that Paris had the editor's assistant call her on the phone every night after work so he could read the book aloud to her.

A man told me this story. I believe the point of it was, "Paris Hilton can't read, isn't that hilarious?" But I sort of thought it was kind of dedicated, if she has some kind of reading trouble to find a way to get the content anyway? It's like Audible but for her own book, as it was being worked created.

This has oddly endeared her to me for some reason. She could have just not known what was in it. (But I hope that assistant got overtime.) She don't read good but she dedicated.

[gigi-tastic 2322]

15 minutes ago, Elektra Boogaloo said:

I have a kind of third hand Paris Hilton story. As you guys know, I work in book publishing. Many years ago, Paris came out with a book that was very pink and shiny. I believe it was mostly pictures. Now, this is going to shock you. But she didn't write the book. In fact, most celebrities doesn't write their own books. They have ghostwriters for that. (I believe there was some internet meme a couple years ago about a sports guy--?--who was asked about stuff in his autobiography and he said he didn't read it.)

But I was told (and again, I have no actual proof of this so it might not be good for the mini): that Paris had the editor's assistant call her on the phone every night after work so he could read the book aloud to her.

A man told me this story. I believe the point of it was, "Paris Hilton can't read, isn't that hilarious?" But I sort of thought it was kind of dedicated, if she has some kind of reading trouble to find a way to get the content anyway? It's like Audible but for her own book, as it was being worked created.

This has oddly endeared her to me for some reason. She could have just not known what was in it. (But I hope that assistant got overtime.) She don't read good but she dedicated.

I'm ashamed to say I read that book in middle school. ! My  best friend to this day ( who is going to the Chicago shows with me) and I loved SNL and there was a stupid Paris Hilton sketch and somehow we started calling each other Paris and Nicky . So I carried the bit to reading her ridiculous book and  hate watched her mom's insane reality tv show. Ah the very early 2000's what a time for trash! 

[TimLaushman 6]

http://mulletjunky.com/rattail.htm

 

[PollyDarton 1807]

Omission:
In reference to Arno's file on "The Every Move of the Hottie", as Jason pointed out, he also references a website that tracks Cristobel's life. Besides the abysmal quality of this shit film, I have to wonder how Paris Hilton feels about this movie and that exact moment because of this:

In late 2008 (after the release of The Hottie & The Nottie), a group of Los Angeles teens (affectionately known as The Bling Ring) robbed Paris Hilton's multi-million dollar Beverly Hills mansion. The group was notably obsessed with famous people and chose Paris Hilton as their first robbery because they figured she was dumb. They got into Hilton's mansion by finding a key under the welcome mat and then had a duplicate made and robbed her home several more times. At first the group only took small mementos: some shoes or fashion jewelry, but by the end were tearing apart Hilton's belongings and stealing her personal nude photos. It took Hilton several months to even realize she had been robbed.

And how did these crafty genius's figure out when would be a good time to rob Paris Hilton? That's right... you guessed it, by tracking her every move through her website (and possibly her MySpace since it was 2008 after all.) They easily found out when she would be out of town, found out her address through one of those "maps to the stars" type of website, and seized the opportunity.

They also robbed a bunch of other celebs, but Paris seemed to be their biggest obsession.

The true sadness is that this movie in conjunction with the Bling Ring robbery could very much be considered the end of Paris Hilton's career as an entertainment brand name.

Sofia Coppola made a movie about it based off a very well researched book by Nancy Jo Sales.

 

[JimKata 62]

Click here to see Sexy's profile on Amazon.

tl;dr version: An (alleged) Islamophobe who gave a bad review to an Emma Watson calendar because it listed Islamic holidays, is super Catholic yet hates Pope Francis for being a "lazy liberal", wants to warn men to be wary of Feminazis lest they fall in love with "dangerous female con-artists", and is angered by tiny typesetting,

While it is weird, I do like his take-down of Joel Osteen: "Delusional Joel Osteen, that uneducated Protestant American pastor, sung the praises of evil English queen Elizabeth I, even though she was a mass murderer in every sense of the word! Protestants love to hide and ignore history. Make them face their own evils!"

[gigi-tastic 2322]

32 minutes ago, PollyDarton said:

Omission:
In reference to Arno's file on "The Every Move of the Hottie", as Jason pointed out, he also references a website that tracks Cristobel's life. Besides the abysmal quality of this shit film, I have to wonder how Paris Hilton feels about this movie and that exact moment because of this:

In late 2008 (after the release of The Hottie & The Nottie), a group of Los Angeles teens (affectionately known as The Bling Ring) robbed Paris Hilton's multi-million dollar Beverly Hills mansion. The group was notably obsessed with famous people and chose Paris Hilton as their first robbery because they figured she was dumb. They got into Hilton's mansion by finding a key under the welcome mat and then had a duplicate made and robbed her home several more times. At first the group only took small mementos: some shoes or fashion jewelry, but by the end were tearing apart Hilton's belongings and stealing her personal nude photos. It took Hilton several months to even realize she had been robbed.

And how did these crafty genius's figure out when would be a good time to rob Paris Hilton? That's right... you guessed it, by tracking her every move through her website (and possibly her MySpace since it was 2008 after all.) They easily found out when she would be out of town, found out her address through one of those "maps to the stars" type of website, and seized the opportunity.

They also robbed a bunch of other celebs, but Paris seemed to be their biggest obsession.

The true sadness is that this movie in conjunction with the Bling Ring robbery could very much be considered the end of Paris Hilton's career as an entertainment brand name.

Sofia Coppola made a movie about it based off a very well researched book by Nancy Jo Sales.

 

How could I forget this?!  They got in because a door was unlocked and she didn't notice they were robbing her until they took about $2 million in clothes, cash, jewellery, bags and other things. I know they supposedly snorted her cocaine as well. I was fascinated by this story.

Speaking of Alexis Neiers she's now married and she and her husband run a rehab. 

[PollyDarton 1807]

14 minutes ago, gigi-tastic said:

How could I forget this?!  They got in because a door was unlocked and she didn't notice they were robbing her until they took about $2 million in clothes, cash, jewellery, bags and other things. I know they supposedly snorted her cocaine as well. I was fascinated by this story.

Speaking of Alexis Neiers she's now married and she and her husband run a rehab. 

That moment has become as famous as any of it. Netflix used to have the entirety of "Pretty Wild" if anyone wants to see it... it's TRASH.

But, no the door wasn't unlocked, they found a key she left under the mat for her housekeeper.

 

[gigi-tastic 2322]

22 minutes ago, PollyDarton said:

That moment has become as famous as any of it. Netflix used to have the entirety of "Pretty Wild" if anyone wants to see it... it's TRASH.

But, no the door wasn't unlocked, they found a key she left under the mat for her housekeeper.

 

She wore 4 inch brown shoes with a kitten heel from bebe!!! 

 

 

[muttnik 476]

This semi trashy famous people aughts nostalgia is making me miss The Soup.

6 hours ago, grudlian. said:

What Mario game was the creepy friend playing? It kind of looked like New Super Mario Bros but that wasn't on a console when this movie came out. It was clearly playing Super Mario Bros 1 music. It kind of looked like he was using a Gamecube controller.

I think it's Super Smash Bros. Melee.

The main guy reminded me a lot of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo.

[muttnik 476]

Oh boy, watching and then listening to the podcast, the bit about having the stalker websites dedicated to Paris Hilton's character reminded me of Amy Boyer. She was cyber stalked and then murdered by an unrequited crush who had websites dedicated to her and how he was going to kill her. I remember reading about her murder in Teen People in 2000ish; the article basically ended with the suggestion that the readers look themselves up to make sure no one was fixated on them.

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

Do you guys remember Gawker Stalker? That mapped where celebs were at any given moment?

 

I actually Googled cross country stalking, since he drove from Maine to LA. I think the movie could be this headline almost. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/jennifer-aniston-stalker-traveled-cross-country-planning-to-marry-her-authorities-say/

[DanEngler 5249]

They brought this up during the episode but, despite its incel-ishness, the sole credited writer is a woman named Heidi Ferrer. She apparently quit showbiz in 2008 to become a Lifestyle Brand, which might be a convenient cover story when The Hottie and The Nottie destroys your career.

[gigi-tastic 2322]

8 hours ago, Cameron H. said:

I had a crush in maybe 1st or 2nd grade, but it certainly wasn’t sexual. We just made each other laugh at school and I thought she was pretty.

I do not keep a picture of her in my dresser. That’s creepy-crazy!

You keep in a dedicated shrine like a civilized person.