Musical Mondays Week 76 I Kissed a Vampire

[gigi-tastic 2322]

1/ how dare you make me watch this

2. I was almost out of vodka and so I watched this sober

3. I say watched but I mostly skipped through it yet I'm still sure I got 100% of the context.

4. Fuck this "film" fuck it right through the heart with a steak

[gigi-tastic 2322]

How the fuck did he find this therapist? Does she specialize in vampires? She said something about keeping the neck brace on because this wasn't her first time or something like it was to protect her neck from him or help him by not seeing her jugular ( Yet she's wearing it during the phone call. So was she attacked by a former patient? Is that what she meant?!) . She was always 100% on board no questions about the idea this kid thinks he was turned into a vampire by a weird exchange student ( and maybe sexuality assaulted?) . Also fully ok with hearing that he supposedly had his teeth ground down even though that would do nothing to stop the jaw pain he was experiencing. Like not worrying that her client is making rash cosmetic surgery decisions... Especially if he is in fact a new vampire. Do we think Blondie ( I refuse to learn his name) has vampire caused body dismorphia? 

[gigi-tastic 2322]

How was Sarah dressing like a goth? A grey t-shirt black kegging or jeans and a black vest do not a goth make. This is goth slander and I for one will not have it! 

I loved the sexy bad girl vampires outfits they were just so wholesome. I love these types of things and their versions of what a "bad" girl/guy wears or what is fashion risk. It's for kids so it has to be tame but still be "wild". So it's usually a shorter skirt over legging things or layered tops... So much layering. So many needless ridiculous accessories! I love to hate it. 

[tomspanks 9039]

10 hours ago, gigi-tastic said:

How the fuck did he find this therapist? Does she specialize in vampires? She said something about keeping the neck brace on because this wasn't her first time or something like it was to protect her neck from him or help him by not seeing her jugular ( Yet she's wearing it during the phone call. So was she attacked by a former patient? Is that what she meant?!) . She was always 100% on board no questions about the idea this kid thinks he was turned into a vampire by a weird exchange student ( and maybe sexuality assaulted?) . Also fully ok with hearing that he supposedly had his teeth ground down even though that would do nothing to stop the jaw pain he was experiencing. Like not worrying that her client is making rash cosmetic surgery decisions... Especially if he is in fact a new vampire. Do we think Blondie ( I refuse to learn his name) has vampire caused body dismorphia? 

Apparently she was a parapsychologist according to her office door?  But I think she was more qualified than the dentist, who identified the pointy teeth as incisors even though they were canines.  A dentist not knowing the difference between incisors and canines was one of the most unbelievable things in the movie tbh.

[gigi-tastic 2322]

Dan (the highlight of the film for me) is a toxicologists not whatever they called him that made me, in hindsight, unreasonably angry. Venomolgist? 

[GrahamS. 803]

On 10/7/2019 at 2:44 PM, Cameron H. said:

I’ll let you be the judge

 

I admired this video, but was blown away by the “girl next door” one, where none of the lyrics seemed to fit together in the same song. I also liked the irony of her singing that she wasn’t the girl next door while dancing around a very bland looking carnival.

From these clips, I could honestly picture June liking this movie.

[GrahamS. 803]

Holy shit, this entire movie is on YouTube for free! It’s subtitled in Spanish.

I made it three minutes in before I had to turn it off. I’ll give it credit, I was laughing that entire time. Maybe if I stick to a 3-minute a day dose, I’ll have finished the movie in 30 days.

[GrahamS. 803]

Maybe someone should mail it to Paul!

[Cameron H. 23786]

3 hours ago, GrahamS. said:

Maybe someone should mail it to Paul!

Again, Rockula would probably be more fun. Although I’d watch either for the show  

[tomspanks 9039]

Re: "the girl next door" song, the title is "Forbidden Planet" for some reason?  And in the song, Sara spends most of the time saying she's not the girl next door, although she was literally the girl next door?  

[Cameron H. 23786]

12 hours ago, GrahamS. said:

I admired this video, but was blown away by the “girl next door” one, where none of the lyrics seemed to fit together in the same song. I also liked the irony of her singing that she wasn’t the girl next door while dancing around a very bland looking carnival.

From these clips, I could honestly picture June liking this movie.

It was crazy because she was clearly not a dancer so they had the other dancers do the heavy lifting while she would walk back and forth to briefly swing around a pole.

[grudlian. 4725]

34 minutes ago, tomspanks said:

Re: "the girl next door" song, the title is "Forbidden Planet" for some reason?  And in the song, Sara spends most of the time saying she's not the girl next door, although she was literally the girl next door?  

I assume her assertion that she's not the girl next door is that she's not the colloquial "girl next door" archetype even though she seems to fit that definition as well. So, you're right. She couldn't be a more on the nose example of a girl next door.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Was anyone else annoyed that he wouldn’t just come out and tell her he was a vampire? It’s not like “vampires” are an obscure creature from folklore. I’m sure it would go down like this:

Guy: I’m a vampire.

Gal: Whatever.

Guy: No, seriously.

Gal: Prove it.

::he proves it::

Gal: Oh, I guess you are a vampire. Are you going to eat me?

Guy: No.

Gal: Oh, okay then.

I just don’t think it would be as big of a deal as the movie suggests.

[tomspanks 9039]

19 minutes ago, Cameron H. said:

Was anyone else annoyed that he wouldn’t just come out and tell her he was a vampire? It’s not like “vampires” are an obscure creature from folklore. I’m sure it would go down like this:

Guy: I’m a vampire.

Gal: Whatever.

Guy: No, seriously.

Gal: Prove it.

::he proves it::

Gal: Oh, I guess you are a vampire. Are you going to eat me?

Guy: No.

Gal: Oh, okay then.

I just don’t think it would be as big of a deal as the movie suggests.

But didn't he at one point get fixated on her neck as if to bite?  Granted, he stopped himself in time, but maybe he was afraid he wouldn't be able to once he turned full vampire?  Speaking of which, how come Sara didn't want to bite his neck, especially if she was turning into a vampire faster?

[Cameron H. 23786]

7 minutes ago, tomspanks said:

But didn't he at one point get fixated on her neck as if to bite?  Granted, he stopped himself in time, but maybe he was afraid he wouldn't be able to once he turned full vampire?  Speaking of which, how come Sara didn't want to bite his neck, especially if she was turning into a vampire faster?

Yeah, but like you said, he controlled himself. He clearly doesn’t want to hurt her. Rather than acting like a goof, he might as well Just tell her what’s going on and she can help him resist temptation.

I think the gender politics of the movie are pretty jacked up in general.

[gigi-tastic 2322]

So I guess this was a web series that got turned into a movie? So how Blondie got turned into a vampire is from the web series I think

[Cinco DeNio 5290]

On 10/7/2019 at 1:00 PM, tomspanks said:

Coincidence that one of the producers had the same last name as the lead actress? 

Anyway, the actress is now some kind of herpetologist or snake enthusiast on Instagram. Cool pics though.

So she’s a venomologist?

[Cinco DeNio 5290]

On 10/7/2019 at 10:49 AM, Cameron H. said:

Tre Sylvania is the worst vampire ever - and I’m including Emmet from Twilight in that

Not only that but who hears Trey Sylvania and thinks vampire? Would have been more on the nose to call him Hans Sylvania or some such.

[Cinco DeNio 5290]

On 10/7/2019 at 9:07 PM, tomspanks said:

Wasn't it weird how they totally breezed over the part how Dylan became a vampire?  Usually that part is given more attention in any vampire movie, no?  I actually had to rewind because I completely missed it the first time around (yes, I started zoning out early).

It almost seemed like he wasn’t able to consent or given the choice. He was just being a normal horn dog and she bites him. I also thought it was a total cop-out to have Trey bite her. The entire time is a “Will he/Won’t he?” situation and then it’s not even Dylan who bites her!

[Cinco DeNio 5290]

On 10/7/2019 at 11:32 PM, gigi-tastic said:

How the fuck did he find this therapist? Does she specialize in vampires? She said something about keeping the neck brace on because this wasn't her first time or something like it was to protect her neck from him or help him by not seeing her jugular ( Yet she's wearing it during the phone call. So was she attacked by a former patient? Is that what she meant?!) . She was always 100% on board no questions about the idea this kid thinks he was turned into a vampire by a weird exchange student ( and maybe sexuality assaulted?) . Also fully ok with hearing that he supposedly had his teeth ground down even though that would do nothing to stop the jaw pain he was experiencing. Like not worrying that her client is making rash cosmetic surgery decisions... Especially if he is in fact a new vampire. Do we think Blondie ( I refuse to learn his name) has vampire caused body dismorphia? 

I figured through an infomercial like he found Dr. Dan. (kidding) I honestly don’t know but the neck brace had me scratching my head. She wears it throughout but then one time, when he calls her at home, she isn’t wearing it. I think someone else speculated it was to keep from being bitten but then she would wear it 24/7.

[Cinco DeNio 5290]

Carrying over a thought from the preview thread...

”I Kissed A Vampire...and I liked it!” I guess we know what flavor the “cherry ChapStick” was.