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Cameron H.

Musical Mondays Week 76 I Kissed a Vampire

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Profound! 
 

Every so often, a movie comes around that truly redefines “cinema.” 
 

We watched:

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Right off the top, I’m chagrined that this movie has the gall to all itself a “rock” musical. Not that I expected Quadrophenia or anything, but High School Musical rocked harder than this.

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Also, just FYI, when I write the word “rock” my predictive text comes up with “Rockula” just so you know the life I’m living.

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I know vampires are evil but the part where Trey Sylvania kept urging the main boy to kiss the main girl while she wasn't able to consent was uncomfortable.

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Tre Sylvania is the worst vampire ever - and I’m including Emmet from Twilight in that

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This felt and looked like a rejected Disney Channel original movie or an early 2000s emo music video.

I think it's very weird this went from popular iTunes exclusive to theatrical release. I know straight to video movies have gotten theatrical releases eith some minor success like Left Behind but it's hard to believe the higher ups thought this would do well making that leap.

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I couldn’t help wondering who this movie was for. It was too sexual for kids, too immature for adults, and far too lame for teenagers.

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50 minutes ago, AlmostAGhost said:

This was bad

So I didn’t watch it this weekend because I was sick with a bad cold and had a few other things going on (saw Al Franken speak, which was interesting, saw a play, saw Joker). I think I have to pay for it because I don’t have Amazon (I have HBO, Hulu and Shudder and Netflix. That’s enough for me). I am willing to do it to put my two cents in and want to participate with the group, if it’s worth it at all. Is it? (Full disclosure, I did watch the trailer and it looked TERRIBLE).

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1 minute ago, GrahamS. said:

So I didn’t watch it this weekend because I was sick with a bad cold and had a few other things going on (saw Al Franken speak, which was interesting, saw a play, saw Joker). I think I have to pay for it because I don’t have Amazon (I have HBO, Hulu and Shudder and Netflix. That’s enough for me). I am willing to do it to put my two cents in and want to participate with the group, if it’s worth it at all. Is it? (Full disclosure, I did watch the trailer and it looked TERRIBLE).

It is NOT worth it! I appreciate the effort, but feel free to skip it :)

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18 minutes ago, Cameron H. said:

I couldn’t help wondering who this movie was for. It was too sexual for kids, too immature for adults, and far too lame for teenagers.

That was my thinking. I thought this was going to tweens but it was too sexual. When it started with just kissing, I thought that's all it would be. Just kissing as a stand in for sex. I don't think I'd want a 10-12 year old watching this.

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Coincidence that one of the producers had the same last name as the lead actress? 🙊

Anyway, the actress is now some kind of herpetologist or snake enthusiast on Instagram. Cool pics though.

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46 minutes ago, tomspanks said:

Coincidence that one of the producers had the same last name as the lead actress? 🙊

Anyway, the actress is now some kind of herpetologist or snake enthusiast on Instagram. Cool pics though.

If you look on wikipedia, all the actors are like related to each other:

 

Lucas Grabeel as Dylan Knight

Drew Seeley as Trey Sylvania

Adrian Slade as Sara Lane

Amy Paffrath (Drew Seeley's wife[3]) as Luna Dark

Sally Slade (Adrian Slade's sister) as Sally Sucker

Katie Seeley (Drew Seeley's sister) as Lydia Bloodworth

Mike Slade (Adrian Slade's father) as Dr. Payne

Autumn Grabeel (Lucas Grabeel's sister) as Penny Plasma

Emily Morris (Lucas Gabreel's girlfriend) as Desiree Damned

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47 minutes ago, tomspanks said:

Coincidence that one of the producers had the same last name as the lead actress? 🙊

Anyway, the actress is now some kind of herpetologist or snake enthusiast on Instagram. Cool pics though.

I looked up her other credits, but there were no other credits. This was it.

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What blew my mind about this movie was just how shoddy all the choreography was. A lot of it seemed real community theater. They wouldn’t really use the environment and everything seemed surprisingly claustrophobic. It was really frustrating when it came to Lucas Gabreel because we from High School Musical that he can dance! 

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3 hours ago, AlmostAGhost said:

If you look on wikipedia, all the actors are like related to each other:

 

Lucas Grabeel as Dylan Knight

Drew Seeley as Trey Sylvania

Adrian Slade as Sara Lane

Amy Paffrath (Drew Seeley's wife[3]) as Luna Dark

Sally Slade (Adrian Slade's sister) as Sally Sucker

Katie Seeley (Drew Seeley's sister) as Lydia Bloodworth

Mike Slade (Adrian Slade's father) as Dr. Payne

Autumn Grabeel (Lucas Grabeel's sister) as Penny Plasma

Emily Morris (Lucas Gabreel's girlfriend) as Desiree Damned

Not to mention the director and writer are Chris and Laurie Nolan.  I saw a bizarre movie recently that seems to have been a real passion project by the Elfman family (snap snap).  I am still amazed that projects like this can get funding and my pet project Cat Scratch Fever (think CATS meets Phantom of the Opera) can't get off the ground.

Oh, and Chris Coppola is Dr. Dan.

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22 minutes ago, Cameron H. said:

What blew my mind about this movie was just how shoddy all the choreography was. A lot of it seemed real community theater. They wouldn’t really use the environment and everything seemed surprisingly claustrophobic. It was really frustrating when it came to Lucas Gabreel because we from High School Musical that he can dance! 

Is the choreography like the Spike Jonze/Fatboy Slim community theatre video? Because that would be something.

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1 minute ago, GrahamS. said:

Is the choreography like the Spike Jonze/Fatboy Slim community theatre video? Because that would be something.

tenor.gif

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21 minutes ago, GrahamS. said:

Is the choreography like the Spike Jonze/Fatboy Slim community theatre video? Because that would be something.

I’ll let you be the judge

 

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I did a little bit of research on the claim that this is the second lowest grossing movie of all time.

It definitely isn't. There are lots of movies that have made less than $1000. Given it's total gross of $1794 and the average ticket cost in 2012 of $7.96, this movie only had 225 people go see it in theatres. That's an average of about 20 people per theatre. Not surprisingly, it only ran for 1 week.

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Wasn't it weird how they totally breezed over the part how Dylan became a vampire?  Usually that part is given more attention in any vampire movie, no?  I actually had to rewind because I completely missed it the first time around (yes, I started zoning out early).

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24 minutes ago, tomspanks said:

Wasn't it weird how they totally breezed over the part how Dylan became a vampire?  Usually that part is given more attention in any vampire movie, no?  I actually had to rewind because I completely missed it the first time around (yes, I started zoning out early).

That was weird. I wasn’t really sure what was going on either. 

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There was a point where he cut himself or something and sucked on the blood, and I couldn’t help wondering if sucking your own blood as a vampire was kind of like masturbating. 

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39 minutes ago, Cameron H. said:

There was a point where he cut himself or something and sucked on the blood, and I couldn’t help wondering if sucking your own blood as a vampire was kind of like masturbating. 

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