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Episode 34.5 — Minisode 34.5

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Just because Paul is hard at work down in New Orleans doesn't mean we can't make time to watch a shitty movie. And trust us, this week's movie is one of the shittiest. We're finally tackling one of our most highly requested movies, so prepare yourself and we'll see you next week!

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I've never even heard of this movie & Im a bad movie connoisseur.

 

Great thing about Gary Oldman is, for better or worse, he'll sell out his performance 100 percent... which, from the sound of the trailer, looks like we'll have 100 percent of high-intensity crap this week

 

In the vein of Tropic Thunder, Gary Oldman has 'Gone Full On Midget'.

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You know this film is going to be legendary, since people thought this YouTube trailer was just a joke for years. It's not enough to just listen to the trailer on the minisode, guys. You've got to see it to believe it...

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Smashmouth is awful and they ruined "Why can't we be friends?" Song's by WAR.

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I only became aware of this via the forums here in the last week.. and it is shockingly poor. This was criticized on so many levels for just being poor.. one big criticism from little people and doctors was the idea that the couple are afraid their child will be little.. When since neither are the chances are highly unlikely.. but that doesn't stop the movie ignoring the fact or have the characters find that out.. as normal human beings would.

 

I'm also shocked that Paul wont spring for 2 or 3 DVD's of a movie to make the show! ;)

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Pants on the new theme - the old is a great rockin' tune...I d/led Tiptoes a while ago just to watch it since it looks so crazy. Can't wait to hear the show!

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Whoa.... no idea this movie existed.... I am terrified.

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My face during the trailer...

 

tumblr_lqebuuoP0o1qdhwu2.gif

 

I still refuse to believe this is a real movie.

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If this were a Crispin Glover film, he would have even had midgets playing the regular-sized people...and they would have had Down's Syndrome.

 

This movie needs to be playing on a TV in the background of an episode of The League next season or something.

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Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah... Not only is McConaughey the only regular sized person, but they're a family of Jewish dwarfs? I don't know why but that makes it exponentially crazier to me.

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I got really wasted last night and started watching this movie. I can't remember much, but what I do recall is fucking weird. Like the trailer didn't show enough, it shows the girl going down on the guy right in the trailer. Which was weird....

 

I think there was a scene where midget Gary Oldman was getting his ass kicked by a regular sized dude and they were playing like, whimsical funny music.

 

I think David Alan Grier was wearing a wig while fucking a midget in a in a room made of windows in the middle of a party, too.

 

Something about Peter Dinklage in a motel with a hooker and a gun under his pillow. I dont know why he was an angry frenchman.

 

I might need to rewatch this thing sober, but I think I might probably want to just keep my recollections the way they are.

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They've got hurricanes (the drink) all over New Orleans - get 'em at Pat O'Briens & nevermind the diabetic coma that follows afterwards. Can't wait to see this movie & hear the podcast!

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My face during the trailer...

 

tumblr_lqebuuoP0o1qdhwu2.gif

 

I still refuse to believe this is a real movie.

I think I made that face repeatedly when my wife and I watched Birdemic: Shock and Terror.

 

And The Wicker Man.

 

And Season of the Witch.

 

And Trespass...

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Never has a movie with seemingly noble intentions (treating little people as humans) sunk so low. So. Fucking. Low.

 

I think it's actually interesting, academically at least. It seems like this came out at a time when Gary Oldman, Matthew McConaughey, and Kate Beckinsale were maybe afraid of being typecast (as Crazy Guy/Villain, Handsome Idiot, and Period Drama/Hot Chick respectively). In this "movie," the three leads are cast against type, which is why they may have agreed to this crapfest in the first place. But at best, this is an academically interesting freak show; not because it features dwarfs, but because people worked on this, tried to make something good, and thought it was decent enough to release to the public. Ugggghhhh.

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I thought he was saying "Gary Coleman" at first. I was like... "Why is that so weird that Gary Coleman is playing a midget?"

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Just watched Tiptoes - 2 things:

 

1. This movie is best watched as though Gary Oldman is NOT dwarf at all. Instead, he is a full grown man who spends the entire movie pretending to be a dwarf. At various times, he gets himself stuck inside of couches too. Everyone is just 1 line away from saying "Rolph, seriously...just stand the fuck up."

 

2. Why does McConaughey insist on kissing the entirety of Beckinsale's face?

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RIVETING!...Absolutely riveting piece of cinema for HDTGM. I was completely engrossed with every confounding scene of this wretched movie.

 

You know Gary Oldman is the type of actor who immerses himself into roles. What I find humorous is the uncomfortable amount of time that Oldman spent on his knees, not just on set but off, just to fill this role.

 

I think this is the keystone movie of HDTGM's podcast. It fits all the HDTGM criteria to a tee, from A-list actors to completely confounding subject matter, plot & premise.

 

Hats off to whoever submitted this as a recommendation.

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"So you had a circle jerk with a bunch of little people? I would love to see that!"

 

That's all I need to say.

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